If you need a boost to your ego or to your general happiness, I recommend announcing your retirement, preferably out of the blue! I recently did that on a FB post and was floored by the kind words many people took the time to write. I’ve been thinking about retirement for a long time and I told my close colleagues and friends a few months ago, but I guess to a large part of my FB friend list, it was a complete surprise. It’s gotten me thinking back on the beginnings…
I won my job at the OSM on July 13th, 1992, but I played two seasons before that, so I’ve already put in 31 seasons and I think that’s enough! I remember a few times over the years thinking to myself, can I really keep doing this until I’m 60? Surprise! All of a sudden I’m 60!
Not that I hated my job, far from it. There were many reasons to enjoy the work. I got to play great music with a great bunch of colleagues and often with wonderful conductors. For the last few years I haven’t had to work that hard (especially this last year and a half of course!), which suits me quite well . I’ve always described playing second trombone in the orchestra as 90% boredom and 10% terror. Those of you who aren’t musicians might find this puzzling, so I’ll describe why this is so.
Most of the classical/romantic/modern repertoire that the OSM specializes in requires the trombones to play during the loud bits. The rest of the time we’re twiddling our thumbs waiting for the loud bits. We play some soft bits too, and they can be pretty scary, but most of the exciting stuff happens during the climaxes of the pieces and that’s where we come in. There are also occasional solos written into the second trombone part, which adds to the 10% terror.
Climaxes wouldn’t be exciting if they happened in every bar of a piece, so that’s why we brass players spend a lot of time zoning out during rehearsals. That’s also why we end up carrying on whispered conversations in the back row, or doing crossword puzzles (my personal fave) or reading or scrolling, etc, etc. In other words, killing time! I suppose if we were more zen we would just sit and listen and meditate or something, but most of us aren’t that zen. So, that explains the 90% boredom, which is a slight exaggeration!
Anyway, getting back to all the lovely superlatives people were writing, I never in my life thought of being an inspiration to anyone (a comment many people made), I was just desperate to make a living to provide for the family after dragging them from London, Ontario, (where my husband, Dave, was making a decent living playing in OLC and teaching at Western) on the strength of a one-year position playing 2nd trombone in the OSM. It was really reasonable of Dave to go along with this plan, and I didn’t want to let him down. It’s humbling and touching that while I was busy thinking about keeping our heads above water, people (many of them women brass players) were thinking good thoughts about me and feeling inspired.
I worked as hard as I ever have to win that audition, in between caring for two kids, and it all worked out, amazingly. I was deeply relieved that the job I’d become used to over two seasons was actually mine for as long as I wanted it. It seemed both incredible and inevitable; after all, what would I have done had I not won? In reality it could easily have ended differently, and my life, —and those of Dave and our kids— would have gone in another direction, followed some alternate reality…
There has been a lot happening lately that has nothing to do with retirement. We got Buster, the Boston “Terror” in March, so he’s been a going concern, Dave had a health scare in June (which I’ll talk about in my next blog post), our daughter, Erica, was here for a month, and we are grandparents to a little boy for the first time, thanks to our son, Travis, and his partner, Allison, as of last Friday! It’s been a very full spring and summer.
So, here I am at a crossroads in my life, the start of a new era where I get to wake up at any time I want (or the time the puppy chooses to get up, whichever happens first), drink my coffee, write my Morning Pages, and generally enjoy tranquility while I decide what else to do with my day. I have lots of interests, including the new baby in the family, so I’m not worried about having nothing to do.
I want to end this post by thanking everyone who wrote me with congratulations and good wishes, and the most flattering comments about my career, some in private and some on FB. I appreciate and thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I love to hear from you!