21 for 2021, a Tutorial

A lot of people (let’s call them “fans of the blog”) have asked me (and I’m hearing a touch of derision in their voices, if I’m honest) about this idea of writing a list of 21 goals for 2021 and why you would bother in the first place if they’re all going by the wayside pretty much immediately. So, in order to make it clear I thought I’d write a cautionary, hypothetical list for you today on the blog. These are ideas one might naturally think about putting on such a list, and why they won’t work. Here we go:

1. Amp up your exercise regime. This one is problematic because I’ve come to know something about myself: the ONLY way I’ll ever exercise regularly is if I make it SUPER easy and accessible. I have to fool myself into exercising in the first place so amping it up has to be done by stealth. I add a couple of reps to my strength exercises, but not by planning ahead, no way! That might stop me from doing the training in the first place! I walk an exercise few blocks on the spur of the moment, but no pressure to do this every time!! So, this will not be on my list.
2. Blog weekly. Okay, this one is a maybe. Yes, theoretically I want to blog weekly and be a dependable source of entertainment/wisdom/nonsense for the “fans of my blog” but just the idea of putting “write a blog post” into my calendar on a given day of the week for the foreseeable future gives me a sinking stomach. I learned last year that putting things I want to accomplish into the calendar doesn’t work for me. It seemed hopeful, but all I did was delete the reminders.
3. Post a new Guilty Knitter video every two weeks: See above under “blog weekly”.
4. Stop drinking so much. This is one we all plan to do, don’t we? Except those lucky few who have already done so, or who never liked booze in the first place. It seems the best way to accomplish this one is to go COLD TURKEY. I hesitate to put this on the list (last year I wrote “Take a month off alcohol” and then scribbled it out. Maybe that already speaks volumes. This one might also be accomplished by stealth, but meanwhile it’s a big maybe.
5. Practice piano regularly. This is the kind of unspecific goal I have a tendency to write down and then promptly ignore. I actually did practice piano for a few days before Christmas and I really enjoyed it, despite my extreme rustiness. I caution you against putting a whole new activity into your schedule unless you’re a scheduling kinda person. Try something like, “practice when the mood strikes you— instead of overriding that urge when it comes”. That will keep you listening to your inner voice that knows what you want to do. You might find that you never feel like playing piano, then you can just let it go. N.B. Editing your list is okay at any time!
6. Try pottery. This kind of goal won’t work this year because COVID de merde. I have always wanted to try making pottery so maybe I’ll put this one on next year’s list.
7. Walk an extra twenty minutes every day. This one was on last year’s list and it failed. It was a Gretchen initiative to get people exercising more and apparently it really resonated for a lot of people. It’s easy! Just walk AN EXTRA 20 minutes per day! It seemed so doable that I put it into my recurring electronic schedule but that just turned out to be one of those reminders I deleted. I think the problem for me is keeping track of what constitutes ‘extra’. It didn’t end up being trackable and it was too much pressure. Sorry, Gretchen!
8. Read more books. This is too vague. I think my goal might have to be: Read a book by James Baldwin (I’ve been wanting to do this for years!). Read another one by James Joyce. (I feel I should). So, in other words, something more concrete but well within the realm of possibility. This should be so easy because I love reading, but I’ve gotten out of the habit. I listen to podcasts and for a long time I had an Audible membership, but I canceled it because I don’t want to support Amazon, or at least not as much. (I’m still waiting for that to affect Amazon’s share price)
9. Read challenging books. This is an extension of #8 but it’s one that’s been in the back of my mind for a long time. My tendency is to reread Jane Austen or some other favourite author, rather than to read anything that might make me feel lots of uncomfortable feels or think too hard. But first I must get back into the reading habit, and that might mean reading old favourites and slipping in the odd Proust or Maya Angelou when I’m not looking. I’ll barely notice!
10. Lose twenty pounds. Hahahaha! This one is so cliché! I will never put this on another list of goals again. I’ve been trying to get myself to some hypothetically ‘better’ weight for most of my life, and though the goal post is always moving, it’s always about twenty pounds less than whatever the scale currently reads. I’m realizing that my poor body is always trying to maintain whatever weight I’m at, so unless I force myself by strictly dieting (and I’ve NEVER kept weight off by dieting), I will always eat enough to maintain the status quo. The only time I end up going really overboard is at Christmas (WHY do we eat more cookies, cakes and pies than we really want for a month per year?) and then, presto, I have an extra 5-10 pounds to deal with in January! If I can at least avoid that weight gain I’m probably going to be the same weight next Christmas as I am now, which is not the worst thing ever. I’ve been avoiding the scale for the last couple of weeks, but soon I guess I’ll have to see what it says. The fact that my one pair of non-stretchy pants still fits is a good sign!
11. Keep the house organized, and not only before the cleaner comes! For obvious reasons this is bound to fail. Too general, too overarching. Baby steps! Use the one-minute rule and make your bed every day and you’ve already done a lot towards this goal.
12. Cut down on coffee. This is another one of those vague ‘shoulds’ that is often a NY resolution. There are a few health reasons for some of us to cut down on caffeine and one for me is that I think it might irritate my stomach. So, I might experiment with cutting out my morning coffee and see what happens. A better way to phrase this to make it more doable is “Experiment with replacing coffee with mint tea for three days.” Always better to replace something you love with something you at least enjoy, rather than just give it up with nothing to replace it with. Also, planning a limited time frame always seems less daunting. Then, if I were to feel better after the experiment I’d have the incentive to continue, presumably.

Okay, that’s only 12 items, but it’s enough to give you an idea of what NOT to write, or the best way to word things to help make them stick. The main thing is to put things down that you REALLY want to do, not just that you feel you should. Make sure you write down a few things that can be accomplished in an hour or a day, though there aren’t any on my hypothetical list. Something like, “Go to a museum once”, for instance. Oh wait…. well, you know what I mean.

Happy Goal-setting and Happy 2021!!