The end of this gawdawful year is fast approaching. We can start 2021 with the hope that the vaccines will make a difference to our quality of lives. We can look forward to hanging out with our friends, going to restaurants and generally enjoying close proximity with people. For many of us it’s that hope that keeps us from falling into despair, keeps us wearing our masks and being careful. We can do this for however long it takes as long as we know it won’t be forever.
I just had a milestone birthday, my sixtieth! It seems fitting that the end of this crazy year should mark the beginning of my 7th decade on this earth. I’m looking at the challenges I’m likely to face and thinking that they will take a certain level of maturity that by now I (can only) hope I have. It seems logical that I’ll face some health issues and a general, (though slight, I hope) decline. In order to minimize their severity I’ll have to be disciplined in keeping up my exercise regime (modest though it is, it makes a difference!), lowering my alcohol intake and keeping a balanced diet. This might call for another list of resolutions, or goals, that will get me going in the right direction. My Happiness Guru, Gretchen Rubin, does a list of goals every year and this year is no exception. It’s called “21 for 2021” (Is the number going to keep going up every year? She started in 2017…) This is why she does it, taken from her website: “Research shows that people who construct their goals in concrete terms are 50 percent more likely to feel confident they will attain their goals and 32 percent more likely to feel in control of their lives”. (Is it telling that it says nothing about how much they actually achieve? Hmmm…)
I first did this exercise in 2019, and I managed to cross off quite a few items. 20 for 2020, on the other hand, was a bit of a fail, as you can imagine. Gretchen and her sister, Elizabeth Craft, (her co-host on her podcast, Happier), each had trouble accomplishing their goals for this year, not surprisingly. Gretchen managed to succeed at quite a few of them and Elizabeth, very few. (Side note: Their personality types are different enough that they appeal to a wide range of people. Elizabeth, who is, in Gretchen terms, an “Obliger”, makes regular people like me feel like we’re in good company, and Gretchen—a very high achieving, A-type, or what she calls an “Upholder”—speaks to another segment of the population)
I think we can all let ourselves off the hook for not getting where we wanted to be, creatively, personally, professionally, etc., in this year that went off the rails so early on. So, I was pleased by what I managed to cross off the list this year, despite everything. Out of 20 goals, I managed to accomplish 8 and make a stab at 5 others. Some of these goals I’m going to tack onto my 21 for 2021 list, as I would have done, even without a pandemic to throw a spanner in the works. I have a tendency to include too many too-lofty goals. In a long list, it’s important to have many items that are easy one-offs, preferably ones you can check off in the first month. Personally, I’ll be letting go of some of my loftier goals this year.
The goals I’m most happy to have checked off this year are:
1) Keep up my exercise regime. I was thrilled to realize that I’ve managed to keep doing some exercise on most days of the year. Mostly walking, but that has really become a habit and it makes me happy that I’ve kept it up. I’ve also incorporated some strength training and I’ve been good about that for 3 months now.
2) Keep using the 1-minute rule. This is a strategy of Gretchen’s, and I love it. Basically, it’s this: if something only takes a minute, do it immediately. It’s amazing how much easier things are when you don’t allow them to pile up so much, and how many things really take less than a minute!
3) Knit 60% from stashed yarn. The pandemic has helped me in this, by making shopping for yarn less convenient and thus encouraging me to use what I had. I haven’t knit as many items as I had on my list (20), but I am glad I used a lot of my own yarn. Not sure the exact percentage, but definitely more than usual!
4) Continue to cull belongings and donate. Check! but still a long way to go!
5) Connect with friends. Again, who knew the pandemic would have its positive side? Desperate for any kind of connection, we have learned how to Zoom! I’ve done more zooms with people who live both here and in other cities (who I wouldn’t see often anyway) than ever.
One thing I put on my 19 for 2019 list that I’m still doing is making my bed, (One of the more attainable goals on my list!) I love the look of the bed all neat and tidy and it takes less than a minute, so I do it every day! A very simple “happiness hack”.
A friend of mine, who only makes one resolution per year and it’s always tongue-in-check and easily attainable (one year it was, “No more high-fives, only fist-bumps!”), has ridiculed my long, goal-setting list in the past, and perhaps for good reason; after all, most people have no luck at all with New Year’s resolutions, in fact, most people abandon them before the end of January (according to research cited by Gretchen!), so why do a list of 21?? Well, it appeals to me because it’s an exercise that leads to knowing oneself better, mainly. Also, having a lot of things on a list like this is great because you’re bound to accomplish a few of them. You can make them as easy as you like! So I encourage you to give this a try, remembering that these are special times, calling for a different approach to self-improvement. Go easy on yourself, have fun with it, but put things on the list you’d really like to do and you might be amazed how far you get.
Here’s one of my favourite singers, Blossom Dearie, celebrating being HIP! Here’s to a much hipper year to come!
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