Images tagged "vine"

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Sandra

December 11, 2023

Oh, gawd, what Viv says about asking questions, it’s so true..and I wish the poem with all its verses were true, even if just for one brief moment. To reconnect, with the perspective from passing years making that moment of our love even richer and more appreciated.
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Andrea LeBlanc

December 6, 2023

Erica thank you for this beautifully written post and thank you for keeping her blog alive…it will be a nice place to visit and remember a very special friend.
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jane wheeler

December 4, 2023

I can hear your mother’s voice in you Erica. It’s soulful, like her. Thank you for sharing the last weeks of Vivian’s journey on this earth. How incredibly difficult for all of you, I’m so sorry. I knew your mum through groove class and though I didn’t know her well, I loved her. Sounds weird but it’s true! I’ll always see her smile and the sparkle in her eye. Sending love to you, Travis and your dad.
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Cliff and Anne Trott

December 3, 2023

This was so beautifully written. I was so happy to see it. Although I never really got to know your Mom well on a personal level I always felt her love through people who clearly loved her. During her final days I thought about her everyday and asked God to comfort her and lighten her load on her journey. I still can’t believe that someone who so loved the beauty of the world and found joy in music, art, crafts, flowers and animals could have to leave. I’ve been so sorry for Travis and you, your wonderful dad and her friends.
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Wil

December 2, 2023

Dear Erica,
Beautifully communicated, just like your mom was able to do.
Viv was always so humble, yet so amazing.
What a great gift to have been friends with her.
Love, Wil ❤️
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Maureen

December 2, 2023

Thank you, Erica ♥️
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Naïla

December 1, 2023

Erica, thanks for doing this. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I will donate to one of those charities for sure and continue to cherish my memories of Viv. She was so awesome, and I can tell you are too! 🙂
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LARRY LARSON

December 1, 2023

My dear Erica, you continue to awe and inspire me. Your wonderful Mom would be so very proud of this post, and how you will continue to keep her with all of us with her blog and other media. Viv touched so very many of us, and all of us will keep her memory and spirit alive as we remember her. Much love to you, dear friend.
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John G MacLaren

November 30, 2023

Erica thank you so much for completing the journey. I am sorry that the cancer was so invasive to shorten what was already too short a time.
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Sandra

November 30, 2023

Thank you dear Erica. All our love.
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Victoria Maby

November 30, 2023

How lucky you were to have her and how lucky she was to have you.
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Lucie Levac

November 30, 2023

Thank you so much Erica. You mother was a very special person and she touched everyone she met. 🩵🩵🩵
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Zaven Zakarian

November 30, 2023

Simply beautiful, just like Vivian.
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Wendy Burden

November 30, 2023

Erica, this must have been difficult and painful to write. Thank you for doing it. While extremely sad at the outcome I’m glad your Mom had such wonderful support from her family and the hospital staff in her last days. None of us will ever understand the “why” but we have all been privileged to know her even a little bit.
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Andrew Clayden

November 30, 2023

So well written, Erica. I guess Viv’s ability to write is a family trait which continues! Love from the West Coast! A.
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Julie Hobbs

November 30, 2023

Your mom must be smiling with pride! What a beautiful tribute. 💕💕
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Shelley T

November 30, 2023

Thank you for this post. Your mother was extraordinary.
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Jill Kirwan

November 30, 2023

Thank you for such a heartfelt tribute to your dear Mom.Viv was amazing in all ways and I wish I had known her better…
I remember picking up your mom and dad in Montreal and taking them to orchestra rehearsals when they were young and I was older! And I remember you Erica…dancing around in a coloured skirt playing gypsy!
It was lovely to see your dad a few weeks ago at Ottawa U and I was able to get in a quick hug.
Sending you all much love and courage…
Jill xx
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Nora Lee

November 30, 2023

Thank you very much, Erica! It brings it all back but I do appreciate hearing more about how well she was looked after by you, Dave, Travis, the hospital staff and her many friends. Love, Nora
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Laura Davis

November 30, 2023

Well, I cried. 🥰
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Linda and Ross

November 30, 2023

Thank you, Erica. Sending you love.
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Lynn Giesbrecht

November 30, 2023

Thank you for sharing so beautifully Erica. I can hear your mother’s voice in your writing. She is gone way too soon. Heartfelt thoughts to your family.
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Margot Aldrich

November 30, 2023

Erica. Thank you thank you thank you. ❤️
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Dave

November 30, 2023

Thank you, my dear girl. Love, Dad
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Katy McD.

October 24, 2023

And now you’ve embarked on the next adventure, ma chère amie. I hope it’s everything you want and need and I hope that one way or t’other we’ll meet again someday. do
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Nicolas Martin

October 1, 2023

I am writing to you in the present, but I missed the boat too …twice!

I wrote a heartfelt thank you on a Facebook Post which you obviously read, but I missed the boat by not leaving a comment on here that you could read.

Last Tuesday commemorated 25 years of my mother’s passing, and I still feel sorrow as I then kinda missed the boat because I wish I’d had said more. I was then dizzy , things were outta wack , I was loosing my career …You know, when it rains , it pours!

As this double anniversary was coming up this spring you posted about your illness . You made me laugh, cry, think and mostly accept that I wouldn’t get all the answer…

It brought me peace and solace.

Hence the heartfelt « THANKYOU »

I’ll try not to miss the next boat

Au revoir Vivian
- Reply
  Dave Martin
  
  December 9, 2023
  
  Thank you so much Nicolas! Thank you for your beautiful words. Peace!
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Dave Reid

September 30, 2023

Dear Dave, Erica, Travis and extended family,

No words can express the sadness we feel over Viv’s passing.
I too was an occasional “lurker” on this site, but she and I did manage to connect via email in recent months so I feel blessed that I was able to express my love and admiration to her for the amazing human and superb artist that she was. We shared a run in Ceremonial Guard over 40 years ago and she came to be among my closest friends in the band, regularly playing duets and trombone chamber music after hours, as well as hanging out on days off. She was one of the finest players I knew, and the warmth of her sound I’ll never forget. I only saw her a handful of times since those days, but we always picked up where we left off…

RIP Vivian, you are missed….
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Human Magallanes-Harding

September 30, 2023

Goodbye, dear friend. I love you.
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Josée Poirier

September 29, 2023

Dear Vivian, as I read today your posts from the most recent to the first, I wonder how you are today. There is nothing adequate I can write, but let me express that it has been a real pleasure spending a little time with you in rehearsals when the repertoire did not require trombone nor piccolo 😉 and my most cherished memory is when you were telling me about your plans with your family, for your retirement. It sounded so wonderful and it saddens me, it really sucks that that time has to be spent with pain instead of the joy you so deserve. I do also believe (like you) that you will eventually become part of the universe, so just in case you can enjoy some of our life experience vicariously through your cells (!), I will then have a thought for you while: 1) having a good meal; 2) tasting a great wine and/or scotch; 3) hearing an amazing musical moment; 4) feeling the peace of mother nature. I can take a request for another experience, otherwise I might go with dancing. So this comment was.. I guess… my early farewell, although I will still think of you and your loving family «avec mes pensées chaleureuses» many many times. Sending you love!
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Michael Dumouchel

September 27, 2023

Dear Vivian, my thoughts are with you, Dave, and your family. Russ Devuyst once referred to you as the Vivmeister(in) and I never forgot it.
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Jennifer Short

September 25, 2023

Hi Vivian,
I don’t think you know me, but you likely know my husband, Joe Lanza. And I know Dave – we both went to Canterbury! So, in a way, I feel like I do know you, sort of. From afar. Boy, these are such hard, cruel, awful things!! But you sound so…I dunno, wise, thorough it all. We’ve all had cancer in our family. Scary stuff, but so far, we’re all still here. But I’ve been terrified. So I feel your words in my bones. A good friend suffered your same diagnosis, though she shut herself off right at the outset. She was super strong, like I sense you are. But we never spoke again, after her “news”. I’m so glad you have Dave (pls say hi), & your kids (who seem well). Obviously, also many who love you. I wish timing had been different and I’d arrived in London earlier, in time to meet you! Jennifer
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Andrea LeBlanc

September 23, 2023

Dear Vivian, Your blog is a gift to all of us. I was so moved by your words that I felt it necessary to cease being a lurker. I am sending hugs to you, Dave, Erica, Travis, Neil, Allison, Iggy and Buster. Stay strong all of you and know that you are in our thoughts. Love you!
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John G MacLaren

September 21, 2023

Vivian I cried for a year at least at the drop of a hat when my mom died. Not that anybody was dropping hats. There was no explanation for me because there was no comparable love than that between she and I. Which I discovered on her last day after I had left relatives in the room with her and had gone home and showered and shaved and put on a freshly ironed shirt and going back to the hospital. When I walked into the room she looked up and, I’m tearing up now, her eyes just sparkled at the sight of me her child. And I see those eyes to this day. And I dream and she visits in my dream in oftentimes the oddest ways but nonetheless my memory is the gift that I have that I can give to her. Never forgotten.
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Sandra Donatelle

September 21, 2023

Dearest Vivian.
I’m sorry for the slow response but I have been sorting out my words. They are inadequate and imperfect but sent with love. It is my greatest hope that your pain doctor finds that sweet spot of medication balance for you so that you are comfortable and not in so much pain.
You are surrounded by the love and comfort of your family and dearest, closest friends. I know that this is a blessing for you.
Vivian, you have always been the sweetest of persons…beautiful inside and out. Please know that we all are holding you in our hearts and wishing you so much peace and love.
Sandra Donatelle
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Shelley T

September 13, 2023

I’m late adding a comment, I’m not particularly articulate and I needed to sort out my thoughts. I belong more in the lurker category – we met many years ago (summer 1983) when we were in CG Band and I sat beside you in the trombone section. I was awestruck with you then and I’m am even more amazed at your courage and strength now. Both my beloved grandmother and aunt suffered with pancreatic cancer, it’s a terrible terrible disease. They live on in memory though through all the lives the touched. I believe you will be loved and cherished for a long time by those who lives were touched by yours.
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Lorae

September 12, 2023

Oh Viv, I feel for you. There aren’t a lot of comforting words I can say except that from my experience in being pretty f’n sick at one point in my life that the most comfort comes from finding some inner peace, connecting with that deeper higher self that lives within us. I’m with those who don’t believe that passing is anything but transitioning to who you really are, an eternal amazing being. And, your journey, your experience, your contributions through joy and challenges, endured and celebrated in this physical life game if you will, were nothing short of miraculous and for that there is much to love. As it is said, love is truly the only real power that fuels, well, everything. Use that love power that resides within you as your sword, to give you strength, to give you peace, to empower you unconditionally through this difficult time. Love conquers. Love heals.
Much love, from a lurker. 💕😘
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Carolyn Minchin

September 12, 2023

Viv,
Though we only know you through Laura, we feel as though we know you. She has done a wonderful job of describing you over the many years, singing your praises often – we have to shut her down as singing is not her strong suit 😂 – cooking is! You are a treasured friend of Laura’s and Laura is a treasured friend of ours. As the old saying does, any friend of yours is a friend of mine so that makes you our friend too. We are in your corner Viv, rooting for you and sending lots of positivity your way. Miracles do happen. Love from Carolyn & Geoff
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Gary Russell

September 11, 2023

Dear Viv, Dave and family,

Thanks for sharing your blog. So much of our personal and professional lives have been spent together. Music lessons for Matt and Travis, rides to orchestra with Bibi, Halloween parties with cigar smoking in your Cumberland basement studio.
You and Dave have been so unfailingly kind and generous. My thoughts, best wishes and good vibes are with you always.

Loving and lurking,
Gary and Sandra
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Christopher Hall

September 11, 2023

Dear Viv …
I haven’t read the other comments ..
But you said you appreciated our comments – so here goes

As I sat in the kitchen this morning with my daughter, reading your latest post and trying to sip my Latte without letting her see that I was crying behind my coffee …
I thought to myself – as I often have since the beginning of this –
What a DRAG this is !
Why does something like this have to happen to someone like her !!?!

I mean .. there is a not so short list of politicians, lawyers and conductors (notably that “Petit Suisse” who used to flaunt his little baton on the stage of Wilfred Pelletier!) for whom I’d be less sad – let’s say – to hear this news about.

Of course .. one doesn’t wish this kind of suffering and being forced to face the .. End … On anyone !
But like one of those “Insults from the past” that you posted some time ago ..
“I haven’t ever wished anyone ill.. but have read several obituaries with considerable glee…” (or something like that)

But Vivian ?!! Why !?
Of course my daughter noticed her Papa was crying in his coffee … and with her big heart.. came and gave me a big long hug asking “What’s the matter Papa..?”
I answered – “One of my old friends is really sick..” She hugged me some more
And I added “.. and she’s so sweet and kind and nice !! Why’d SHE have to get sick like this ..!?!”

My darling daughter didn’t have an answer and neither do I.
I asked my old Prof of Theology Dad couple weeks .. and he didn’t have an answer either.

I am not crying anymore .. but I’m still sad and mystified by this seeming “unfairness”
But what I do know is that the way you – Vivian – are sharing this all with us .. in such a kind, caring and funny ! way …
Is a gift to us all that we will, I know, remember for the rest of our lives ..
And for that – I am deeply grateful.

In short:
Thank you dear Viv.
CH
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Blair Thomson

September 11, 2023

Vivian, I have been so moved by both your words and the inimitable grace with which you have shared your vulnerability, humour, pain and wisdom. Sending you hugs. Xo
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Marion Butler

September 10, 2023

Vivienne – thank you for sharing this journey with us. I so wish for a pivot where they see a positive change. Sending you and Dave lots of love and prayers.
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Timothy

September 10, 2023

We love you Dear Viv! Take care.
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Laura

September 10, 2023

Oh Vivvie, I think I don’t text because I want to think everything is going, ah, well. Well, no it’s not, craperoonie! You know I’d rather use a much worse word, haha. Waddaya wanna eat and when’s the best time for me to come out and cook for you? You do know that’s my passion a
Me my way of expressing love! I don’t cry, sometimes I want to but it just doesn’t happen very often. 🥰🥰 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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Cynthia Yuschyshyn

September 9, 2023

Such disappointing news Vivian. So sorry to hear. Sending you, Dave and your family love and strength.

You continue to inspire and demonstrate that you are such a force of nature. Thank you sharing at such a difficult time.

All my love.

Cynthia
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Adam

September 9, 2023

Thank you for sharing your journey Vivian, and I’m so sorry you’re going through so much. My heart goes out to you and Dave, and I’m sending my very best energies and wishes for a positive turn, peace and healing. Thinking of you!
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Kevin Lee

September 8, 2023

My dear sweet sister, I am grateful that we could hang out together this week, weeding your garden, episodes of the bake show and all..

It is amazing that you were able to write this post. I am sure that it took a lot out of you. Take care. Luv ya.

Kevin
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Jeff Nelsen

September 8, 2023

Hi Viv,
This fucking sucks. I’m so sorry…thank you for sharing so much, and such giggles and joy since I met you in 1990. Not very good card playing, but otherwise just one of my favourite people. I love you so much and look forward to keeping up with Wordle again…been lame lately!! Huge hugs to you and your stupidly insane beautiful family!! Xoxoxoxo!!!!!! Jeff
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Julie A Spencer

September 8, 2023

Hello Vivian. I guess I am a lurker : ) I was a friend of Dave’s from Northwestern. While I have never met you, (but have seen you in Montreal orchestra videos) I always knew that Dave would marry a truly remarkable woman! Your blog has been so beautiful and inspiring and I am sure you have helped others with what you have shared. I work now in healthcare and see children battling cancer during every shift. Cancer is just so cruel and unfair. There are so many of us cheering you on and wishing you peace, comfort and the gift of time with those who love you most.
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Peter Collins

September 8, 2023

Such difficult news to share but thank you for doing so. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. Thank you for that. Thinking of you often.
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Vanessa Fralick

September 8, 2023

Hi Vivian,
I’m a lurker mostly! But since you say you love comments, here I go! I really appreciate that you’ve been sharing your journey with all of us and keeping us in the loop because I for one really care about you but would be afraid to ask. I’m often thinking of you and trying to send good vibes your way. I’m so glad you have your family by your side. You have made such a difference in life for many musicians but especially young female brass players like myself who had a role model to look up to and aspire to be one day, so THANK YOU for being you and doing it so non-chalantly! So glad I got to spend a little bit of time in Montreal hearing you play and watching you do what you do – and then had the good fortune to get to play WITH you. I’ll be thinking of you every time we play in Montreal. Love, Vanessa
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Betsy Anderson

September 8, 2023

Oh boy. That is very tough news and I am very sorry. I am glad you felt somewhat prepared and I do hope you can remain at home with successful pain support and lots of loving accompaniment.

I am very sad. I know Mum will be as well. She is reaching the end of her very long life soon I think. I often think of our flying visit to see your Mum. Sending love and memories and gratitude as well as tears.

Betsy Anderson
- Reply
  Louise
  
  September 9, 2023
  
  Thank you for sharing. I always read your blogs but sometimes have trouble signing in to comment. This news is very sad, but I appreciate your straightforward telling. How unfair life is! I wish for you some quality, low-pain days and weeks and months ahead. Sending love to you and Dave and Erica and Neil and Travis and Allison
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 9, 2023
  
  Hi, Betsy, it’s very sad, indeed. Tell your mom I love her and I wish her the very best. I hope her going will be comfortable and easy (as I hope for my own as well). Thanks for reading. xo
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Lucie

September 8, 2023

I am so sorry for the outcome of the CT scan. I read all your posts and you are truly amazing. The strenght and courage you show is so impressive. Hopefully they find the right dosage for the pain. I can’t write as well as you do but I think of you often and I really hope that we will read more posts. Huge hug xxx
- Reply
  Serge Filiatreault
  
  September 9, 2023
  
  Hey Vivian, I guess I have been a bit of both. A commentator and (especially lately) a lurker. Your courage, resilience and strength in the battle of your life blows me away. You are an amazing human being / musician. I’ll never the day I subbed for Pierre in Joliette ( July 18 1998) and how you made feel welcomed. I was so nervous during rehearsal and your calmness and friendly smile made me feeling more relaxed. Thanks a lot for that.
  I’ll definitely be keeping you in my mind and hope the pain will subside.
  Take care
  Serge
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Lis Baugh

September 8, 2023

Vivian- sending love and all my wishes that the pain can be managed and you can enjoy these days with your family as much as possible. No words. This must be so hard.
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Emily

September 8, 2023

Oh Aunt Vivian I’m so sorry, this entire process sounds so exhausting. It breaks my heart that you’re having to go through all this.

I’m so glad that you have lots of family time coming up. Love you so very much, xoxo
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Wendy Burden

September 8, 2023

Really tough news. I hope your Dr can improve the pain management. Thanks for sharing
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Linda Umbrico

September 8, 2023

Such hard news. I hope that your doctor gets the pain medication down soon. Once again, thank you for sharing. So glad that you get another visit in with the kids. Sending love to you and your family.
- Reply
  Catherine Low
  
  September 9, 2023
  
  Dearest Vivian,
  
  I have been following your posts faithfully but I often found myself at a loss for what to say other than thank you. Thank you for being you and for allowing yourself to be truthful and vulnerable during such a difficult time in your life. I have come to understand a bit about the hard choices you have had to make over these past many months by reading the book ‘Being Mortal’. Thank you for recommending this book. It has helped me find compassion for myself and for others as I grapple with the reality that we are all here on this planet for a finite time and our main job is just to walk each other home. None of us is ever a burden to those who love us. I wish for you many moments of joy and moments of freedom from pain in the time ahead.
  
  With love,
  Catherine Low
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    September 9, 2023
    
    Thank you, Catherine, I must start reading that book now! It’s a bit of a challenge reading anything heavy these days, though, but it sounds like something I’d find very helpful. Take care and take care of little Iggy for me. xoxoxo
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Andrew Proctor

September 8, 2023

You’re truly inspirational, Vivian! Your strength under these circumstances is more than amazing.
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Evelyne

September 8, 2023

Dear Viv.
It is hard to know what to say to this news, except that you have been in my thoughts so much. I am glad that you got away. I will be here for whatever I can do. Hugs and love
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Katy McD.

September 8, 2023

Oh, my friend.
- Reply
  Dawne
  
  September 8, 2023
  
  Hi Vivian,
  I’ve mostly lurked, but have been thinking of you often as you have blogged about many things (I have always been impressed by your knitting projects!), most recently sharing your health journey. I am so glad to hear that your family continues to be wonderful and so present, overcoming distance as often as possible ❤️
  Sending you and yours warm thoughts from Manitoba.
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Jane

September 8, 2023

Dear Vivian,

You are amazing. Your posts are so well written and heartfelt – I certainly wish I was as clear with words. Thank you for sharing – I am tearful but I am so grateful to shed those than to hear down the road – ‘oh, by the way…’. I hope as everyone does that this will be just a nasty bump in the road – however I respect your clarity and I do not wish to brush your words and the feelings – mine, yours and everyone else’s under the carpet.

Your lovely, quiet strength and certainty (as first chair sitting beside the not so quiet, chatty and fidgety one – ha!) from so long ago was so very much appreciated. I wish we could have stayed in contact and met up again earlier but grateful that we did finally and I am thinking of you often. I walked past the Orpheum in downtown Vancouver yesterday. There was a huge (and high end) bus pulled up at the side and I wondered which orchestra or who had just shown up and wondered how many of those you had travelled on. You have made good use of all of your talents. How great that as an artist, you were not one of the ones waiting for the right time to get back to it – as so many of us have done.

With love and hopefully a not too garbled message,
Jane
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D Linda Pearse

September 8, 2023

Oh Viv… this is perhaps not unexpected news but very sudden and sad news all the same. I am thinking positive thoughts for your process, and remembering those fun times with you in lessons and babysitting Travis and Erica. Time is elusive. Much love to you and Dave and your close loved ones. Linda
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Isabelle Lavoie

September 8, 2023

Thank you for sharing your news with us, Viv. Sending you, Dave, and your family all the love!
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Linda Umbrico

September 8, 2023

I know you are surrounded be so much love right now. Sending you more, Viv.
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Emily Morgan

September 7, 2023

Thank you for taking the time and energy to update. It sounds exhausting living in limbo and chronic pain. I think of you often and am sending love 💕 💜I think you are doing a great job managing this awful disease. Love you xoxox
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Elizabeth

September 4, 2023

Vivian, you are dealing with all of this so gracefully and so beautifully! Many thanks for your updates.

Lake St. Peter looks and sounds wonderful!

You asked earlier about things to read. I just read “I Am Phoenix: Poems for Two Voices” by Paul Fleischman with illustrations by Ken Nutt

The illustrations are gorgeous and the poems are so musical (just 15 of them, quite lovely and none are long). Our library has the book but it is also available at the Internet Archive library where you can “borrow” it for an hour at a time.

https://archive.org/details/iamphoenixpoemsf0000flei

I learned about the poems when I was telling my sister about seeing Common Egrets near the duck pond when we were riding our bikes through High Park. This is the beginning of the poem “The Common Egret”: (to be read aloud by 2 readers at once, one taking the left-hand part, the other taking the right-hand part. When both readers have lines on the same horizontal level, the two readers speak simultaneously)

“““““““““““““““““““““They call us
common “““““““““““““““““common
“““““““““““““““““““““““egrets.
Common!
““““““““““““““““““““““`The injustice!
As if to be so white that
snow“““““““““““““““““““snow
““““““““““““““““““““““`is filled with envy

++++++++++++++++
“Dawn” is lovely as well. This is the opening:

At first light the finches
are flitting about the trees
““““““““““““““““““““““`Flittering
fluttering““““““““““““““““`flit
purple finches
““““““““““““““““““““““flit
Fluttering
““““““““““““““““““““““flittering
fly
““““““““““““““““““““““painted finches
fly

+++++++

(I hope my attempt at formatting sort of works!)

And what about novels? I really liked the following:

“Sourdough” by Robin Sloan
“A Single Thread” by Tracy Chevalier
“Simon the Fiddler” by Paulette Jiles

oxoxo
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Ava Ordman

September 4, 2023

Thinking of you, Viv, and sending lots of love. Glad you were able to get out of town to enjoy the beauty and solitude of nature. Pain sucks! Wishing you relief from your pain and praying for the best possible outcome with your CT results. Love you, Girl! ❤️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 7, 2023
  
  Thank you, Ava. xo
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Cindy WARREN

September 3, 2023

Vivian, Your BIL’s place looks like a tranquil place to be. Please know that you are thought of frequently and will continue to be in those thought whether you feel like writing or not. Sending love.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  Thanks, Cindy!
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Andrew Clayden

September 3, 2023

I’m glad to hear you guys got out of the city……nature helps! AND, it got you writing, right? (see what I did there?)
Yes, the weather is weird! Here on the Wet Coast it is DRY,DRY,DRY! Sure doesn’t feel like a rainforest……
One day at a time! Hugs!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  Thank you, Andrew. Take care,
  
  Vivian
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Suzanne Nelsen

September 3, 2023

Hello my dear friend (from tour),
Thank you for the update. Although, it’s heartbreaking to hear you’re in pain. I wish there was some magic button to push! I also hope to get a chance to see you when we’re up in Montreal in September. No pressure, as always, but would love to sit in your tranquil garden with you. ❤️
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  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  Thanks, my dear, hope to see you soon. I can’t keep track of dates, so please keep me posted on your plans. xo
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Russ DeVuyst

September 3, 2023

Hey Viv, I enjoy reading your posts on your developments.I know that Chemo sucks. You are very descriptive and the cottage sounds and (looks) so peaceful.
Enjoy the nice weather this weekend and the nature around, since it seems so rare at this time. Lots of rain.
We were going to go camping but decided to camp in the back yard instead. I’ll light a fire and we’ll huddle with the cats in the tent.
What the hell! Why not? I’m becoming lazy.
Take care Viv. You are in my thoughts.
Russ
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  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  Thanks, Russ, I appreciate you checking in. Camping in the backyard is still camping! Have fun.
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David Martin

September 2, 2023

Thanks for the update, my beautiful one. I think you’re dealing with this well; you have no complaints from me. xoxox
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  Thanks, my dear, love
  Viv
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Katy McD.

September 2, 2023

Oh, my friend, I don’t like this for you … the pain, the waiting, the liminality. I wish there were something I could do for you but I got nuthin’ but cards. Cards cards cards cards and also did I mention cards? (Altho there is a possibility I might be in Montreal in October, and if that happens, I would also have for you an in-the-flesh visit, if you’re amenable.)

The summer weather here has been relatively okay but very prone to sudden short, violent cloudbursts, which, if I’m honest, I mostly kind of enjoy. Generally speaking, I’m a fan of dramatic weather (not so dramatic as to be life-altering or -destroying or anything like that, just bringing, you know, low-key, chill, run-of-the-mill drama).

xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2023
  
  HI, Katy, I’m so grateful to you and your cards! I love getting them so keep ’em coming. I love the odd savage summer storm too.Love Viv
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Jane

August 11, 2023

Hello Vivian,
I’m so glad to read your blog and see that you are doing better than you expected. I am not so eloquent with words – visuals are my thing but I have been thinking of you all along your journey.
Hugs and love,
Jane
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  Vivian Lee
  
  August 12, 2023
  
  Thank you, Jane!
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Margot aldrich

August 10, 2023

Aw Viv, thank you for your gentle voice. I loved seeing you and will be back asap if you’re up for it. I love you my dear beautiful friend.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  August 12, 2023
  
  Hi, Margot, thank you so much, it’d be great to see you again soon. 😘
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Nathalie

August 9, 2023

Hello Vivian, it is inspiring to hear your poetic thoughts as well as your new life and death approaches. Big hugs from Vienna! I hope to see you in October.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  August 12, 2023
  
  Thank you!! Xoxo
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Louise

August 8, 2023

Thank you for your thought-provoking posts. ❤️
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Lynn Giesbrecht

August 8, 2023

I love reading your posts Vivian and continue to feel sad that you have to go through all this. Thank you for being so open and transparent about all you are experiencing. Know that you have a lot of people who love you in your corner, whether it be from near or far…..
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Linda pearse

August 8, 2023

Your posts are always real and honest. Thinking only good thoughts for you and Dave from New Brunswick. Linda
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Timothy Booth

August 8, 2023

Lovely to see you today and as always your courage and candour is exemplary! Love you!
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David Russell Martin

August 8, 2023

Lovely post, hon! I’m looking forward to our time alone, as well as having Erica (and Travis) and Neil back too!
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Suzanne Nelsen

July 29, 2023

Viv, I love reading your posts and admire your writing style and comfort (seemingly) with the subject no matter how difficult. Keep ’em coming and know you have a grateful audience out there……much love to you my friend.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Thanks, Suz! xoxo
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Andrew Clayden

July 29, 2023

Wow Viv, cool post! You continue to calmly and surely inspire us all!

Your writing has provoked many thoughts here….I’ll try to be brief.(I’ll save the long version for rides in the car with no radio with Dave,LOL!)

Like you, I agree with the tenor of this poem. Also I am partial to the idea that all those bits of our physical body don’t disappear, they get absorbed into the great blue recycling bin. If mind and body are one, I guess our thoughts and ideas go in the bin too…….

Last September we lost a dear friend from college days, within only 6 weeks of being diagnosed with lung cancer. She opted for a green burial, which is catching on in a lot of places. I like that idea – they bury you in a shroud that will break down as your body breaks down and you start feeding the earth. Maybe there are some locations in Qc that do this?

Not long ago, my daughter prefaced a conversation with, “I’ve been thinking about dying…” and then burst out laughing when she realized how intense that sounds, lol! She went on to say how through her studies in sociology and women’s health, she has become interested in the grieving process for women who lose a child in utero. There is very little research available on the subject, and almost no resources available to medical and mental health practitioners for aiding these women. Bingo, she may have found a focus for her life’s work…we’ll see! Another topic that people steer away from discussing……

I am paraphrasing Irving Layton here….I recall he had a famous comment something to the effect of “I’m not afraid of dying, but the preliminaries trouble me…” I guess we all understand that idea quite strongly.

Wow, have you noticed how LONG some of the comments are to this post? I think you’ve hit on a topic for discussion!

Best wishes from the Wacky West!
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Hi, Andrew! Thanks for reading and I love that your daughter brought up the subject. It’s a very important part of health care that is neglected. She’ll be doing a great service to women if she goes into that field. I love that Layton quote and agree completely!
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John Thompson

July 29, 2023

Thank you for taking the time and the willingness to share your experience, Vivian. You brick back a memory I had from before my wife died of ovarian cancer many years ago. We were sitting on the stairs at the house. We did not have any at the time, but she said that she would have liked to hold her first grandchild in her arms before she died. Unfortunately, that did not happen to her.

I wish you all the best of good fortune with your struggle.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Thank you John. I’m sorry for your loss (very late) and thank you for sharing that story. It’s a hard thing to face, I must say.
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John G MacLaren

July 29, 2023

Dear Travis’s Mom,
A couple of decades ago I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. I found it to be a most wonderfully open book about death, pre during and post. What I gained from the book aided me tremendously during the death of my parents and has given me a much more at hand relationship to my own death.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Thanks for that recommendation, Travis’s friend! 😉 I’ll check it out. Hope you’re well. xo
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Neale McD

July 28, 2023

Vivian, a number of years ago, my dad was hospitalized for what would be the last time. His heart was slowly giving out, and he was just weeks away from dying.

Out of the blue, I received a call from an old rugby teammate. He was someone I was very close to when I was younger, but, at this point in my life I saw him once or twice a year.

“Neale, is everything OK?”

I was a bit confused. My dad had only been in the hospital a few weeks and virtually no one else knew about it. No one in our family had posted anything at all in social media.

I told him that dad was sick, in the hospital and likely to die there.

There was a silence. Then he said “you’re not going to believe this.”

He explained to me that his wife had fallen very ill and had actually slipped into a coma. She was in the hospital, a different hospital, the same time as dad. At one point her situation was very grave to the point where doctors were not sure if she would make it.

But she did.

As her situation improved, she regained consciousness and, according to my friend, one of the first things she said was “The McDevitts are in the hospital.”

His wife was someone I hadn’t seen for maybe a year. We’re friends on FB but, although I’m very active there, I never posted about my dad’s health — especially at that time. I felt like it was a private time for him and for us.

My dad was a huge fan of our rugby club and one of its most vocal supporters. Back in the day, he had bought my former teammate many a beer. And my dad knew my friend’s wife from those days but, apart from some hellos and goodbyes, I don’t think they ever really spoke.

And yet, as both she and my dad lay in different hospitals, both gravely ill, some kind of connection was made.

But how? Why? How did this woman, deep in a coma, know?

Here’s the thing, the real kicker: the only thing my dad and this woman had in common was their birthday, September 6. They were both born on September 6.

But what does that even mean?

I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. I’m an atheist, so I can’t praise the lord or holy spirits. But from that day on, I have to say, I do believe in something. I just can’t articulate exactly what.

I now believe that there is something, an energy, a vitality — some might call it a soul, I guess. We are not just water and tissue. As my dad and my friend’s wife came closer to death, somehow that energy connected.

Years later, I’m still processing this incident, as is the rest of my family. All I know is that it gives all of us some sense of solace and hope that when we die our energy returns to the universe.

Until now I have been a silent observer and reader of your blog. I greatly admire your honesty, insight, and courage in doing this.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Wow, Neale, that’s a great story. There are many stories like it out there, enough to give us atheists pause. I like the idea of there being a spiritual connection between people that strengthens as we get that close to death. Certainly people who work with the dying have many stories like yours to tell from what I’ve heard. It gives me a little hope of something, not sure what, much as your family are still wondering. Thank you for reading and also for writing down your story so eloquently.
  - Reply
    Katy McD.
    
    July 29, 2023
    
    To build on my brother’s post, I have a friend whose 18-year-old son died tragically and unexpectedly in 2016. Red balloons were kind of a talisman for him and my friend, his mother; their family had always been just the two of them, red was the lad’s favourite colour, and they had always celebrated special events, including his birthday, with red balloons.
    
    Several months after the lad died, his mother was at someone’s cabin in the woods, very isolated, very far-from-the-madding-crowd, and looked out onto the unpopulated little lake nearby only to see a red balloon floating above the water. A few weeks later, on her birthday, on a closed set filming a TV show where no balloons of any colour were being used, a red balloon showed up at my friend’s work station.
    
    She continues to discover single red balloons in the unlikeliest places, always just the balloon, not belonging to anyone, just floating free, usually around her son’s birthday, her birthday, or Mother’s Day. For real — I myself have been with her twice when out of nowhere a drifting red balloon has shown up. What does that mean? You can probably guess what she thinks it means and I sure as shit ain’t arguing with her.
    
    I’m a lifelong atheist, but what happened with my father and what continues to happen with my friend have made me rethink some of my own fundamental beliefs. I still don’t believe in a god or gods, I still feel strong antipathy towards organised religion, but I also think that some force of each person’s most fundamental self shimmers, vibrates, hums always. The older I get, the more I believe this, maybe as a means of comforting myself as my own end draws ever closer, but also because I have observed or been close to some strange and beautiful mysteries that I can make no sense of, except to ascribe them to an energy that corporeal death cannot and does not halt.
    - Reply
      Vivian Lee
      
      July 29, 2023
      
      Wow, what a story! Your friend must find some comfort in these sightings. I guess we’re energy and energy can’t be created or destroyed, right? I’ll take some comfort in what happened with your Dad and your friend. Thanks, Katy. xo
  - Reply
    Neal Gripp
    
    July 31, 2023
    
    Viv, Neale and Katy,
    
    I have greatly enjoyed reading your words this morning particularly as they grapple with the “taboo” subject of death.
    While I have always been fascinated by the process of dying, I have approached it rather cautiously through others who have passed before me. As I get older, the certainty of death has become increasingly relevant; I think more often now about what I am doing, why I am doing it, what (if anything) must I get done while I still can, and what happens if I don’t. I rehash in my mind the many things I could have done better and obsess over the what ifs, particularly of the if-I-had-known-then-what-I-know-now variety. Sadly, for all the time spent in contemplation, I am still no closer to figuring any of this out. One thing however that has become clear is how much I appreciate being able to share this profoundly moving experience with those who are facing it so openly and honestly.
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Peter

July 28, 2023

Beautiful thoughts, Vivian. Thank you for sharing them so eloquently.
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Katy McD.

July 28, 2023

I’m not a religious woman. I don’t believe in any sort of conventional Christian-style afterlife. But like many of us, I balk at the idea of … total cessation, of absolute nothingness. Years ago, I was moved to full-body sobbing by the version of resurrection described in the wonderful movie Jésus de Montréal, in which the protagonist, after death, does not cease, because his eyes and his heart are donated to others, to improve their lot or to keep them alive. And of course there’s the resurrection of becoming part of the food and the fertilizer that keep other life — the floral, the faunal — alive.

So there’s that.

And, also years ago, in the ’80s, after losing a beloved person to AIDS, I was inconsolable until Paul said, “He isn’t gone; he’s all around us, his energy, his dust, in the air we breathe … and we breathe him in the same as we even now breathe in Julius Caesar or Joan of Arc.” Damn. That really got me.

I love your idea of experiencing dying/death fully and embracing that experience. Why not? Whether we kick against it or pretend it will never happen, death comes for us all. Might as well try to be as present on the journey as possible.

This is an amazing post, Vivian. You’re a fucking wonderful writer —insightful and vulnerable, generous and brave and bold. Thank you for putting yourself out in the world this way.

<3
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  I love what Paul told you about your dear friend who died. That’s exactly how I like to look at it. It gives you carte blanche to talk to that person just as though they were right there! Thanks for sharing that story, dear Katy. Xoxo
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Joyce

July 28, 2023

I love the idea of tree pod burials. I think it’s a great idea and have read about it. Also, I believe that our death is predetermined at our life. Nothing that we do can dodge it. I have been with several family members who have passed, peacefully and before they passed most of them talked to family already gone. So I don’t think it’s anything to fear, but a serene and peaceful passing to the next dimension.
The thing with death is, we get our affairs in order, make our wills but never really talk about what we want before we are ill or unable to let our loved ones know our wishes. It should be something more easily brought up without worry.
I agree that the hardest part of not being is missing out on future events, grandchildren, graduations, weddings, but who is to say you won’t be able to follow these events?
Not that you are so near death, but it’s healthy for everyone to think about it. Not just those facing illness.
Sending hugs to all.
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Norma Young

July 28, 2023

You were on tour when Don died, so you couldn’t come to his funeral, but if you had, you would have heard that lovely poem. He had read it and loved it, so it seemed appropriate. We don’t know what happens after death; all we can do is live as best we can. You are facing it much too soon, but your life has been full of love and music and you have given joy to all who know and love you. Your posts are an inspiration.
Love, Norma
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2023
  
  Thank you so much for that, Norma. I feel as though I may have read it before, but it didn’t have the same impact that it has now for obvious reasons. I’m sorry I missed Don’s memorial, it was unfortunate that I wasn’t around. Thanks for reading and for your lovely comments. Love Viv
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Sandra

July 28, 2023

Dearest Viv, this blog is a gentle confirmation for me that we mostly all end up having to think about death, and come to some kind of terms with it. It’s not fair that you were forced to confront your thoughts on it much earlier than the rest of your friends. I for sure am a head in the sander……even if it may be right around the corner! You have been incredibly generous articulating and sharing your journey with us. Love you.
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Linda Umbrico

July 28, 2023

Thank you for talking about death. I think I will be re reading this post.
The pictures of water and the poem are so fitting. You are an amazing person. Thank you for this blog.
I was just reading about a trip one family made, in honour/ memory of a lost one… (son and brother to the travellers). The person posting mentioned that he was sorry they hadn’t done the trip earlier, when his son was alive. I almost wrote, almost automatically, that “ perhaps he was there with you in spirit “. But then I stopped myself…. I really don’t even want to say perhaps.
Another friend has said that she feels like preparing to say goodbye is like grieving , but grieving for everyone and everything in her life.
Sending you love,
Linda
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Gord Young

July 24, 2023

Good luck with your latest round of chemo, and with keeping those pain numbers low. I think about you often.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Thanks Gord, it’s great to hear from you. If ever you and Denise could visit it would be lovely see you. Take care! xo
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Christopher Hall

July 23, 2023

Dear Vivian
The sharing of your thoughts with us all, as you live through this incredibly challenging time in your life – is such an act of generosity and human kindness. None of us know what the future holds for us or those we love ..
But reading your story – so bravely and honestly told – somehow gives us hope that, no matter what the future holds ..
There is a way to carry on – with humanity, dignity and beauty.
Thank you.
C
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Chris. I appreciate it.
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Linda Umbrico

July 23, 2023

I loved it. Memories and time. ❤️
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Betsy Anderson

July 22, 2023

Read your Black Lake remembrances to Mum while sitting in the sun at the park. Sending love! Betsy and Muriel
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Evelyne Pytka

July 22, 2023

What a beautiful piece. I can feel the heat and hear the cicadas.
Please write more!
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Thank you so much, Evelyne! I haven’t written a lot of fiction (this one’s not completely fiction, but you know…) and I don’t think it’s really my thing, but I will keep writing! xoxo
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Sandra

July 21, 2023

These posts always answer in depth the questions I want to ask you but frankly either feel they’re too personal or I forget to ask them in the moment! On the whole issue of pain you have hit the bullseye. Thanks for taking the time to share your reflections dear Viv!
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Thanks Sandra! Ask away , next time! Xo
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Linda Umbrico

July 21, 2023

You are such a beautiful person. You are honest and, it seems to me, brave. Sending you love.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Hi, Linda, thank you! Xo
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Andrew Clayden

July 21, 2023

Thanks for sharing your experiences Viv. I hope you can find that sweet spot of the minimum amount of medication possible to control the pain. Love to you all!
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  Thanks, Andrew!
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Louise

July 20, 2023

The garden looks so nice! Always enjoy reading your reflections.
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Stephanie

July 20, 2023

💙
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Lucie Levac

July 20, 2023

I am glad you feel better and my brother-in-law has lung cancer so I know that chemo sucks. I wish you the best of luck for your chemo tomorrow. 🩷🩷🩷
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 24, 2023
  
  I’m sorry about your BIL, I hope he’s doing well with his own journey. Xo
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Erica

July 20, 2023

Great post mom ❤️
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Joyce

July 20, 2023

Your garden is truly beautiful! It’s great that you rate your pain 3/10 right now. When I had terrible pain a few years back, I loved dilaudid just for the few days it was prescribed. I am also taking CBD with some THC for my pain that I’ve had for 2 years now. It really does help so I am glad it helps you too. So good luck with your next chemo and keep enjoying your gorgeous garden.
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 20, 2023
  
  Thanks for writing, Joyce. Yes, the weed oil has been wonderful because it helps me sleep, too. I’m glad it helps you with your pain. Enjoy Luna’s birthday!
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Wendy Burden

July 16, 2023

Hang in there Vivian. You’re blog sounds like you’re making the most of every moment. I recently decided to totally give up my passion for quilting (19 years) and had a quilting “garage sale” today and it went extremely well. I’ve taken up curling from October to April with Doug and have also agreed to chair the social committee for the womens daytime curling group for the RA centre in Ottawa. Maybe next summer I’ll think about Lawn Bowling. As I age (69) I find I can’t take any heat and humidity…we all have limitations. My garden is thriving very well in the weather we’ve had recently but getting to some weeding done is getting critical. Think of you often.
Wendy
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 20, 2023
  
  Thanks for reading, Wendy. I’m so enjoying the quilt you gave me, so beautiful. Now it’ll be a collector’s item! Take care and enjoy your new activities. xo
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Sandra Fonatelle

July 14, 2023

Thank you, Vivian, for your words. May you have more days pain-free 😘 I’m heading to St. John’s for almost the whole month of August to be with Emily and the 2 wee boys. Andrew will be up in northern NL in residence. I’m so looking forward to being there.
Keep finding the beauty around you. Your garden looks lovely. 🥰Sending you big hugs 🤗
xo Sandra
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 14, 2023
  
  Thanks, Sandra! Have a great time in NL!
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Betsy Anderson

July 14, 2023

Good to know you are finding some relief from the pain. We are in NB near my grandparents farm. We have a camp, as they call a cottage down here. It is lovely to be in this beautiful place with daughter Mary Ruth and her two daughters. Mum is still carrying on at 97. Would be glad to connect you with my friend who is a survivor, if that is useful. Photos are wonderful! So glad to be in touch. Blessings!

Betsy
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 14, 2023
  
  Hi, Betsy, thank you very much for reading! Have a wonderful time in NB. I’m so glad your Mom is holding in there. Hope she feels well most of the time. I would love to be in touch with your friend, it could be very valuable.
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Linda Umbrico

July 13, 2023

I feel like you are in the room with me and we are having a conversation about how it is all going. I am grateful to you for writing openly about your pain, even though it is so sad to hear how you are suffering. I am sending you some extra virtual hugs and love. Linda
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Louise

July 9, 2023

Thanks for the update, Vivian, I really enjoyed reading it. I’m glad you’re knitting again. It does sound soothing.Hope to see you soon!
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 10, 2023
  
  Thanks Louise! Yes, hope to see you soon, too! xo
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Jeff Reynolds

July 9, 2023

I’m so glad to read this and know that you’re feeling better. So sorry about Dave’s headaches. I hope they clear up soon. Love Jeff
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 10, 2023
  
  Thanks, Jeff, so good to hear from you! xo Dave’s headaches are gone, but he’s still taking prednisone, so fingers crossed that they stay away.
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Sandra Hunt

July 9, 2023

Hello dearest Viv! We are back now and this blog has really brought us up to date. You’re a busy bee! We would love to see you guys so I’ll message now… ❤️🐝❤️
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 10, 2023
  
  Hi, Sandra, it was great to see you yesterday! Still feeling a bit crappy from Friday’s chemo, but your visit gave me a lift. xo
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Lucie

July 9, 2023

I am so glad you are feeling better and are able to enjoy the things you love. 🩷🩷
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Emily Morgan

July 9, 2023

So very nice to hear that you were able to get back to some very important things like having visitors. I think of you often and love you very much.
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Julia MacGregor

July 6, 2023

Dear Vivian ,
Thanks for sharing your journey. You have an extraordinary way with words .
Take care and know you are in my thoughts cheering you on .
By the way , little off topic but don’t underestimate you had the best curly hair ever in Orchestra London back in the day . !!!
Sending love ❤️
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 6, 2023
  
  Thank you, Julia, and thanks for reading. Xo
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Sandra Hunt

June 27, 2023

I too always worried about being chubby due to a somewhat similar backstory! I really agree with you about the exercise. It such a mental stabilizer. And also about eating your favourite foods – eat dessert first if you can, say I!
Thinking of you lots and sending love, Sandra and Gary
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 6, 2023
  
  I’m almost at that point now! I’m not holding back when the hunger is on, that’s for sure. It sometimes feels liberating that I now I have to try to gain weight! Though it’s really hard to shake off the guilt from long years of it.
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Lucie

June 24, 2023

Chemo is brutal ! Enjoy all the mangoes amd watermelon you can eat and who cares what others think about your body. I wish you courage for the next round of chemo. Thinking of you. Big hug xxxx
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  Vivian Lee
  
  July 6, 2023
  
  Thanks, Lucie! I have the next dose tomorrow so I need your encouragement and sympathy.
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Kathy P

June 22, 2023

Hey Viv, are those some of my beautiful Beaconsfield rocks delineating a nice circle in a “corner of the tranquil garden” photo ? Nice to think of them grounding your space 🌿❤️. Seems to me that Suzanne Nelsen suggested I could bring MORE rocks?? I’d be happy to, as I have an unlimited wealth of them waiting for happy new homes.

That was such a lovely photo of you two she posted a couple of weeks ago ❤️! Let me know if you’d like about the same size rocks. Looking forward to a visit whenever you are up for it, my dear 🌻
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  Vivian Lee
  
  June 22, 2023
  
  Hi, Kathy! I’d love to have you come over and do some gardening with me! We don’t really need a lot of rocks, but I’m sure we could use up another bagful. Thanks for the contributions! xo
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Jane Rowlands

June 14, 2023

I am so glad I found your blog post message in FB. I rarely go into facebook but I did today and am so happy to see this and that you are out and able to enjoy your beautiful garden. I’m grateful for this connection through your blog.

Hugs,
Jane
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  Vivian Lee
  
  June 22, 2023
  
  Thanks, Jane, I really appreciate you checking in! If you get this reply, please feel free to subscribe to my blog so you don’t need to rely on FB. The garden is always therapeutic and it hasn’t let me down this time, either.
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Elizabeth

June 13, 2023

The garden is looking wonderful and so inviting, Vivian! I am most envious of the iris. And I like the new look for the blog too. I cannot stop scrolling back to gaze at the wonderful photo of the corner of your beautiful garden.
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Sig

June 11, 2023

What a gift, both having created this beauty, and now being able to appreciate and benefit by its wonder.
Your phrase
“Beauty will save the World. The beauty we create is its own raison d’etre, which you can’t say about too many things.” rings true for me also, I have begun to appreciate music at a much deeper level, perhaps after my experience with cancer.
Likewise, your writing here is very inspiring, you have the power my dear.
🎵🎵
Reply
Linda Umbrico

June 10, 2023

I love this post so much, Vivian. Even just thinking about gardens and stillness has calmed me. Also, it is so wonderful to hear that there are some beautiful and stress free times in your days. Thank you for posting.
❤️
Reply
Ann

June 10, 2023

It looks beautiful! 🪴🏡
Reply
Diana

June 10, 2023

It looks peaceful
Reply
Laura

June 9, 2023

Gorgeous photos
Reply
Katy McD.

June 9, 2023

The new blog look is great. I like it a lot.

Sitting in stillness is something I think more of us should do. I’m not glad for the reason that *you’re* doing more of it but I *am* glad that you’re doing it. The garden you made as a gift to yourself deserves not just your practical, hands-dirty attention, but also, yeah, your quieter, more contemplative attention too. Labour physically to make a beautiful thing, immerse yourself mentally, emotionally in the beautiful thing you made. That sounds like a good loop of life-making and life-living to me.
Reply
Sharon McCarthy

June 1, 2023

HI Vivian
I can’t believe that with all you are going through you are still finding time to write this blog – Your strength is amazing. The difficulties you face with your diet remind me of when I worked in the gyne floor many years ago. There was a patient who was experiencing dietary issues, never mind the treatment, so her husband ddecided to take her to one of the islands for a few days after one of her treatments. When she came back she was feeling much better, and she was eating better, now you’re going to love this. The thing that brought back her appetite was Rum Punch 😊. Whether it was the juices or the rum, she wasn’t sure, except that it made her feel better.
I am serious when I said that if there is anything I can do please let me know, cook, come and read or talk to you or listen to you when you need to talk, it would be my pleasure. I hope your spinal block helps – I’m sure it will, and anything that eases your pain without fogging up your mind is a good thing.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, one day at a time.
Sharon
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 2, 2023
  
  Thanks, Sharon!
Reply
Sophie Dugas

May 31, 2023

You are really living a ‘non-casual’ time of life, Vivian. I value your sharings and your observing stance. Such a marathon! After the initial shock, the pain, the rough, rough chemo, the pain still there… and now, the wait, and your calmness going in for results. Quite an ark.

May that pain-block treatment for your back work beyond all expectations.

So great you can get out a bit and be in nature. Love the photos – those welcome trilliums, the stunning tulip, and the forest. May the gardener in you get some satisfaction with the return of mild weather – you earned it.

Sending much love and good wishes,

Sophie xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 2, 2023
  
  Thanks, Sophie! xo
Reply
Linda Pearse

May 30, 2023

Thank you for sharing. It sounds really hard – so glad that you have such solid support. Linda
Reply
Margot aldrich

May 28, 2023

Love you Viv. Thank you for writing continually. It can’t be easy to do it. ❤️
Reply
Laura

May 24, 2023

I’ll be there soon to cook! Make a list of what might be palatable…🥰
Reply
Margot Aldrich

May 22, 2023

Sounds like a tough week Viv. I remember being in amazement of people living normally, when my back forced me to be lying down for 5 months. It’s hard to believe it’s possible to jump up and go eh. I think it says a lot that you write, even when you have so little energy and are feeling awful. We are all so glad that you do and I hope that it helps you to extend outward to everyone who loves you. I’ll see you in July my dear friend.
Reply
Sandra Hunt

May 22, 2023

Dearest Viv, you write so clearly and truthfully- it’s a direct hit to the heart. Thank you dear friend.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 22, 2023
  
  Thank you Sandra! Xoxo
Reply
Gary Russell

May 22, 2023

Dear Vivian,

Gary here, Sandra is dutifully on the her yoga mat. You and Dave were among the first Montreal musicians we met. It’s a friendship to cherish forever.
Thanks for pulling together the energy to write that blog. You are an inspiration to us.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 22, 2023
  
  Absolutely, my dear Gary! Xoxo
Reply
Katy McD.

May 22, 2023

I think so many of us are in the same boat regarding friendship. For a lot of us, we get out of school and then career and kids take precedence over so much else, which isn’t to say we don’t have friends, but friendships have to take a back seat somewhat to those other concerns. For me, being largely housebound during the pandemic was a turning point in this regard and I re-established some friendships that had languished in some cases for decades, and are going strong again now. So to your point, yeah, crisis, whether personal or global, can cause us to step back to re-evaluate and re-prioritize what is truly important to us.

Funny tho that you and I reconnected before crisis. So glad that that is true. I find it quite moving to have connection with people I met in childhood, like you. There’s something weirdly strong about that bond, even if there was no contact for a looooooong-ass time.

There’s a weird and wonderful duality to how I see you, to how I think of you, because of the long quiet time in our friendship. We were little and then not-so-little kids together and then we were older women. All those in-between years of career- and family-building are nonexistent and that brings an interesting flavour to the friendship, I think, and a strange depth, maybe partly because we met before career-and-kids and reconnected after the most absorbing and intense and distracting years of those things.

And I definitely feel like there’s a certain intimacy by virtue of having met so young; the potency of shared childhood experience is considerable. We met when our fundamental selves were still forming and were witness to that strange magic happening for one another and that’s big and deep and tiny and precious and powerful.

God.Damn. Look at that wordy old hoyden type.

Love you, friend of my youth. Yep yep.
- Reply
  Heather Wootton
  
  May 22, 2023
  
  Thanks for sharing, Viv. Think of you often and surround you with love and healing.
Reply
Christopher Smith

May 21, 2023

“The irony of all that is that I’m now obsessed with watching cooking videos.”
That got an unexpected guffaw from me. Then Cathy reminded me that when her mom was being fed by tube, she also watched cooking videos obsessively. They were soothing somehow, she said.

Thank you for sharing all this with us. We think of you a lot.
Reply
Irina

May 21, 2023

Vivian, I am thinking of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Reply
Lucie

May 21, 2023

I will keep my fingers crossed for the result of the scan next week. Thinking of you every day.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 21, 2023
  
  Thank you, Lucie! xo
Reply
Peter Christensen

May 21, 2023

Thanks so much for sharing, Viv. It’s more important than perhaps you realize.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 21, 2023
  
  I’m glad to hear you say that, Peter, thank you.
Reply
Jill

May 21, 2023

Viv… thank you for your updates… you know we are all cheering for your return to good health…❤️❤️❤️
Reply
Phyllis Jensen

May 21, 2023

You describe your experience so perfectly Vivian. I hear you. I hope you can feel my Love from all these miles.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 21, 2023
  
  Thank you, Phyllis, I hope you’re doing well. xo
Reply
Kay

May 21, 2023

Your feelings about being isolated are hard to read about, but I recognize that it’s probably inevitable. We’ll find another weekend when we can head to Montreal to see you and Dave. Fingers crossed for the coming week.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 21, 2023
  
  It would be lovely to see you two again soon. xo
Reply
Andrew Proctor

May 21, 2023

Thinking of you Vivian. Keep punching!!
Reply
Kaz

May 21, 2023

Hoping for good results Vivian, you are an amazing courageous woman. Sending love and prayers.
Reply
Patricia Lewis

May 21, 2023

Thank you for sharing your journey, Viv. You are one amazing woman, and I am blessed to have a connection with you!!
Reply
Margot aldrich

May 16, 2023

Hi darling Viv, your posts mean so much to many of us I’m sure. Thank you for letting us know how you are for realz. It’s so good when I am afraid to “bother “ you. Always thinking of you with love.❤️
Reply
Cathy Burns

May 13, 2023

Hi Vivian, Chris has been sharing your blogs with me. I have been thinking of you and your family often these days. You write so well with such honesty, vulnerability and humour. Thank you for sharing the good, bad and the ugly. I hope there are easier days ahead with the last chemo behind you.
Reply
Catherine Low

May 10, 2023

I am glad to hear that you are nearing the end of this cycle of chemotherapy treatments. It sounds like it has been a rough journey for you. I hope that you remember to ring that bell on Friday. For a job well done! Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Reply
Janet

May 10, 2023

I hope, if there is a bell in the treatment area on Friday, you ring it loud and proud. You’ve earned it. I hear how impossible this has all felt and that your journey is incomplete, but you and your family are Superheroes for navigating this path. What you’re going through is gutting and you deserve to be supported. All the good you’ve put into the world is coming to support you in this terribly difficult time and you deserve all of it. Finding small steps you can follow through with can be incredibly powerful when you can’t see the future. Hugs, Vivian. You and your family are in my heart.
Reply
Linda Umbrico

May 9, 2023

Hello Viv, thank you for continuing write about what is going on. I hope the next treatment is not too bad. Sending you love.
Linda
Reply
Sandra

May 9, 2023

Loved this blog dear Viv! Maybe we can do a spontaneous visit chez nous someday? You can bring Buster if that helps. Big hugs to you all.
Reply
Andrew Clayden

May 9, 2023

Huge hugs to all of you! Here’s an idea about accepting/making dinner/activity invitations – don’t make them in advance – if you are having a good day, invite somebody to do something that day! Then you won’t be worrying forever about whether you can make it or not if it is a few days away.
My suggestion is based on Susan’s and my experience yesterday: Spur of the moment decision to go to a beach in the morning, ppur of the moment go out for lunch to a pub we like, etc. All at our own speed/style. You can always invite somebody on short notice…..either they can come with you…or not. That’s it!
Best wishes!
- Reply
  Linda Pearse
  
  May 10, 2023
  
  Hi Viv, It is good to read a blog from you again! Putting one thing to order amongst much in disarray seems so productive and reassuring. It sounds as if you have a supportive team of family and professionals surrounding you and that is such a blessing. As always, thinking only the best thoughts for you and Dave and family. Much love from New Brunswick, Linda
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    May 10, 2023
    
    Thanks, Linda, good to hear from you. I am, indeed, grateful for all the help around me. Take care!
    
    Viv
Reply
michaeldumouchel

May 9, 2023

Hi Viv, So good to hear from you and see you in such a familiar place! Sounds like you’ve got some excellent strategies going on, not to mention an incredible home team. Like the song says, just keep on keepin’ on!
Love,
Mike
Reply
Sherry Steinberg

May 9, 2023

I KNOW nobody wants to throw you out the window! You have always been and still are too worthwhile a person for that. The spiralling must be very hard, and I hope you can get out of it. And I hope your next treatment will be easier!
Reply
Dawne Lachapelle

May 9, 2023

Hi Vivian, I’ve been following your updates from Winnipeg, it’s nice to hear how you are doing even if the updates aren’t all good news. I just wanted to share that I recently had a close family member who went through a similar health journey and he expressed some of those same feelings of finding it hard to believe at times that people were just as happy as ever to have him around even though he was not in a position to do a lot of busy work and had many bad days.
He also was hesitant to book plans knowing that he might not be up to following through on the day of.
I just want you to know as a family member, hearing that, I just wished so much that I could plug my brain and heart into his and have him feel just how much more he was to us than a person who was “getting things done” or “pulling his weight” or whatever other description. He spent so much of his life being able to do all those things, NOBODY ever doubted that he would be the first to jump up and do them if he had the chance. Same thing with needing to scale back, cancel, or postpone plans. The only thing we wanted from him was time and for him to allow us offer what company or support we could. It was NEVER a burden and we NEVER saw him as a person who was less than he ever was on his best days before the health problems. All that to say, please keep trying to believe them when they say they love you as much as ever. It’s all they want and it’s something that you can give them.
Sending good vibes to you from the prairies, love and support to you all <3
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 9, 2023
  
  So good to hear! Somehow it helps to know that from another’s perspective. Hope Winnipeg is treating you well. Thanks for reading!
Reply
Katy McD.

May 9, 2023

Good begets good! You deserve all the love and help you get. We all gotta look out for each other as best we can — my father taught me that and that man knew a thing or two about a thing or two — in this crazy world called life, and o how I know it to be true.

I love the pic of you at the Westmount greenhouse. Maybe one day, you’ll meet me there and we can have a good old laugh and a good old cry and a good old natter.

Sending love, mon amie, holy hell, so much love.

xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 9, 2023
  
  Love you right back, my dear old hoyden. Xoxo
Reply
Charles Meinen

May 2, 2023

Hey Viv, Hope you are doing as best as can be expected. I remember glancing back during a performance of Alpine Symphony, saw, and heard you playing those terrific solos. You are the best ! Much love, Charles
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 8, 2023
  
  Thank you, Charles! It’s always good to hear that people enjoyed my playing! I always enjoyed playing Alpinesinfonie.
  I hope you’re doing well, Love Viv
Reply
Sharon

April 27, 2023

Hi Viv
I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. You may not like to hear it, you may think that you are only doing what you must do – what you know how to do best, but you are very Brave. Your post about the decision to share your story was particularly touching, because when it happened to me, I was the one who didn’t tell anyone – well just a few close friends. In fact I found it easier to tell people who I wasn’t that close to rather than my friends. To explain why would be too long to go into here, but once I got through dealing with the diagnosis and treatment, I was able to share it with everyone.
I am so glad you have your family and obviously a lot of very good, caring friends to support you. If there is anything I can do for you please don’t hesitate to ask. Spring is almost here and soon your garden will bloom again as I’m sure will you.
Sharon
Reply
Sandra Donatelle

April 26, 2023

I’m holding you up, Vivian. Keep up that positive,”one day at a time!” Sending big hugs and love your way. ❤️❤️❤️
Reply
Katy McD.

April 24, 2023

Oh, friend of my youth, this is just so much. I’m aghast at what you’ve been through … and I’m blown away that you’ve mustered up the energy and the inclination to share even a bit of it with us. Honestly, Viv, you’re a motherfrackin’ rockstar (and I’ll own that it makes me cackle in that glamorous way that I have to call my friend the professional player of classical music that, because I am a simple people).

The level of support you report receiving says so much. Another good friend who went through some terrible trauma a few years ago was fully gobsmacked at the outpouring of love and goodwill and solid, practical help she received, not just for weeks or months, but for years. And I told her what I’m telling you: the fact hat so many people want to engage with you to offer you whatever big or little bit of help or kindness or love that they can speaks volumes — VOLUMES, I SAY — about the kind of person YOU are. Good begets good, you feel me?. Here in these crazy days of the 2020s, I find it thrilling to be reminded of that. Good begets good! What a concept! Gives and old hoyden hope for humanity, it does.

Thank you, my friend, for being open and generous enough to share some of your journey with us. Sending you love on this day and every day (and also more cards, so many cards, because I’m fancy that way).

xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 25, 2023
  
  Thank you, Katy, my dear old hoyden! Xoxo
  - Reply
    Katy McD.
    
    April 25, 2023
    
    Oof. Apologies for the typos. Note to self: do not type long messages on your phone.
    - Reply
      Vivian Lee
      
      April 25, 2023
      
      We all do it!!
Reply
Kathleen

April 23, 2023

Sending love and hugs! Hope to see you and catch up in Montreal soon. Keep up the fight!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 25, 2023
  
  Thanks Kathy, please text me when you’re around, it would be nice to see you.
Reply
Peter Christensen

April 23, 2023

Thank you for the update, Vivian. ALL the positive vibes! And big hugs to you and Dave.
Reply
Sandra Hunt

April 23, 2023

Thanks for getting this chronology down for us, it’s important and helpful to know and understand. ♥️Sending love and always many thoughts♥️
Reply
Cliff Trotted

April 23, 2023

In my recent sickness, Many have prayed for me and I feel th those prayers have been answered. I have full use of my arms and legs as well as survival to this point. I have prayed for you asking that you be given courage to face the rigours of chemo and that you be granted the grace to discover blessings during this difficult time. My brain injury was quite severe and I count the blessings (miracles) I have received
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 25, 2023
  
  Hi, Cliff, Mike let us know what you were going through, I’m sorry to hear it! I’m gad you’re doing so much better.
Reply
Andrew Clayden

April 23, 2023

Wow, 5 tries to get this written…..and you got it done. Brava! That’s inspiration enough for me to go back to the brass fanfare I have been trying to create, and to get IT done! Thanks! You guys are often in my thoughts! Love from the wet coast!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 25, 2023
  
  Absolutely! You get on it! 🙂
Reply
Elizabeth

April 22, 2023

You are wonderful to keep us posted, Vivian! Sending you, Dave, Erica, Travis, and the dog the most positive thoughts in this really difficult time. I hope that the weather is warm enough for you to be able to sit quietly in your beautiful garden to admire it as it emerges from its winter dormancy. – E oxoxoxo
Reply
Maximilien

April 22, 2023

Dear Vivian, I was glad to read this update. I think of you often!
Reply
Linda

April 22, 2023

All the good vibes in the world to you, Viv. And lots of love. Thank you for letting us in.
Reply
Jane

April 22, 2023

I’m so glad to get this update Vivian. I think if you often and wonder how you’re doing. Sounds like you’ve been through the ringer and then some. But I bet that spark deep within you is always there and will help you keep up the good fight. You are beloved!
Reply
Cindy Warren

April 22, 2023

Vivian, thank you for sharing these parts of your unimaginably difficult journey. It is hard to know what to say, except that I am sad you are having to endure this. It seems so unfair. Hang on to the good days and, if you can, try to see the bad days as a path toward feeling better. I think of you often and send wishes for continued strength and improvement.
Reply
Phyllis Jensen

April 22, 2023

Sending my love and warm cozy thoughts from afar.🙏💋🙏🥰🙏
Reply
Sophie Dugas

April 22, 2023

Dear Viv,

What a ride you’ve been on. Pneumonia, intubation, heart function drop and then, Folfirinox and those side effects.

Thank you for sharing the way you do – you say it as it is. As I read, I am reminded to savour the little things, to be grateful for the boon and privilege of simply… feeling well.

On the plus side – buds, plants and flowers are coming out so strong! I have a whole bunch of hellebores bravely all out in the shade. Vivian – I wish you many, many good days coming ahead when you feel like yourself, so you have the joy of being a tranquil gardener.

As for a good light read, I did enjoy ‘A Man Called Ove’… but I mention it very tentatively simply because, in his flashback moments, we understand that his beloved wife had cancer. I apologize if ever there is something unsensitive about suggesting this book! I am in the dark about that, but that has been my latest good light read.

Much love to you, Vivian. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending good wishes.

I am glad to read that you meditate when you remember to do so. ❤️

xo
Reply
Ann McLaughlin

April 22, 2023

I’m always thinking about you, Viv! Are you reading at all these days?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 22, 2023
  
  I find it hard to read but I listen to books and podcasts. Any light reading you’d suggest?
Reply
Lis Baugh

April 22, 2023

Even writing must have been so hard – what a journey. I am knitting up a storm and sending positive thoughts to you with every stitch.
Reply
Heather

April 22, 2023

You are in my thoughts often and I am sending g love and healing vibes. Wish I could do more. 💐🌺🌷🌹🌸🌻🥀🌼🌻🌞
Reply
Kirby Grant

April 22, 2023

Thanks for the update, Viv. Writing can be tiring at the best of times, so doing so while undergoing Chemo, is a gift to your friends and well wishers. So glad you have had a good day, after all the severe illness and treatment side effects. You deserve 10,000 more, Kirby
Reply
Ingrid Matthiessen

April 22, 2023

Viv I think of you often, and hope you guys will come for a peaceful sit on the porch in the summer when your strength is up. ♡♡
- Reply
  Leslie Keyworth
  
  April 24, 2023
  
  I feel privileged to be allowed to read your thoughts. As Laura probably told you, I went through six months of chemo in 2019 and can confirm how bloody awful it is. After all, it was discovered as a result of mustard gas in the war, so how wonderful could that be? I can relate to your time in hospital as I also ended up there after my fourth infusion due to low white blood cell count and, yes, hallucinations.
  I was on something called Folfox which included leucovorin and oxiliplatin as you are getting. The latter can result in nerve damage, especially to feet and hands, and a lot of people use icing (frozen mittens & booties that they take to chemo) to ward off the effects. I didn’t know about it, so I have mostly numb feet now. That’s better than having cancer, but I wish I’d tried the icing.
  Laura helped me with nausea by going with me to buy some pot at a local store. We got vape things and each took only one puff, then fell about coughing like maniacs. But it helped my nausea for half an hour which was wonderful.
  I was on steroids and various pills to help nausea, but that didn’t work. The steroids made me cry a lot, even when I didn’t actually feel like crying. Steroids did a number on my head.
  Oddly enough, what got me through was a spiritual intercessor from BC Cancer, that was her title, and a mediumship class that I kind of fell into (or was directed to, depending on your beliefs). Forced to look at my fears around dying and Spirit (God, etc) was a good thing for me. It has helped me every since, as I get 6-month CTs and bloodwork, checking for recurrence.
  I did a lot of things, including therapy with both a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist at BC Cancer (good for getting tranquilizers and sleeping pills!), D’Souza Institute that had courses online, workshops (everything from spirituality; Victor Frankl; mushrooms & other psychedelics; Eckhart Tolle; meditation; talking to dead people; music; Colontown on FB, etc). Bit of a panic happening and I looked at everything I thought might help.
  Reading got difficult – the reality of chemo brain, plus fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, mouth sores & lack of taste, ugh, I see how you’re also going through all that.
  I hold so much hope for your recovery. The best thing I did was just live in each single day and take in nature, beloved people, pets, senses. I learned to be present in the beauty of the moment more, a gift for my unknowable future. Eckhart told me I’d just have to work harder at being in the moment since my diagnosis. A daily challenge.
  Love to you, Viv.
  Leslie
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    April 24, 2023
    
    Hi, Leslie, thank you for your comment! I’m going to email you, I got your address from Laura.
Reply
Sherry Steinberg

April 22, 2023

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You’re such a strong person that you’re managing. I sincerely hope the way you feel improves!🎶❤️🌺🌸🌼
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 22, 2023
  
  Thanks, Sherry, I appreciate that. Xo
Reply
Alex Guerin

March 6, 2023

Dear Vivian,
I’ve been following your blog for quite a while, never commenting, but always reading with interest, with a smile or in awe of your many talents, including writing. Although our paths have crossed very few times since the UOttawa years, Steve and I have always enjoyed listening to you and Pete on recordings and tv appearances with the OSM. We wish you and David strength, love and support as you battle this terrible disease. Alex and Steve Guerin.
Reply
Peter Christensen

February 14, 2023

Thank you for the update, Vivian, and for continuing to create so beautifully as you progress through this stage of your life. It truly is an inspiration. All my love to you and your family, and a big bear hug to Dave.
Reply
Nathalie Princet

February 10, 2023

Big hug from the other side of the yard! I hope your first day was OK….love –
Reply
MARY JAY

February 9, 2023

Hi Vivian,

I am glad you are sharing this with all of us. Your truth and honesty and vulnerability make it easier for us to know how to respond, how to help, how not to be too much. I am so sorry that there seems to be a lot of pain and I hope there can be drugs for that. I know chemo starts tomorrow and I’m sure that won’t be a walk in the park to go through but hopefully will provide some relief. I would love to send a casserole your way and if someone is heading in that direction I’ll send something good, I know eating is not easy. I hold you all in my thoughts and when and if you’re up for a tiny visit we’re there. I know that may be too much too. Keep writing. I have this amazing trombone I will send –

Love,

Mary
Reply
Jennifer

February 9, 2023

Hi Vivian,
You don’t know me, though I feel like I know you. You know my husband, Joe Lanza. And I know Dave – we both went to Canterbury High. And there’s Orchestra London history….
I am so so so so so sorry for your diagnosis! We have all been through cancer in our family. Joe had chemo for leukaemia in the summer of 2021. I’ve had breast cancer. Our daughter had tongue cancer @ age 19.
If there is any I or we can do, from here in London, please reach right out. If you need a new shoulder to cry on… Whatever might help.💞
Jennifer Short
Reply
Timothy Booth

February 8, 2023

Beautiful my Dear! Stay strong!
Reply
Sandra Donatelle

February 8, 2023

Hi Vivian.
You are brilliant with words. I lack you luster, but I just want you to know that I’m sending you a load full of love and hugs. I think of you daily with love.
I remember your abundance of humour and tolerance for sitting between Marc and Ron in the trombone section in the Hamilton Phil! I admired you for this and thought that you were a good sport for putting up with their antics! The two were awfully funny. Your brilliant trombone playing was a joy to hear. The three of you made one kick-ass section.
Thank you for your honesty in your blog. Just know that you have an army of love holding you. It may not be much comfort, but know that the love is there.
Sandra
Reply
Lucie Levac

February 8, 2023

I am so so sorry Vivian, I did not have time to read the other blog. I cannot even imagine the shock you and your family had upon receiving this diagnosis. I don’t have the words to express how terrible it must be for you. All I can say is I will try to send you positive thoughts and if you need anything, let me know. A huge hug. 😍😍😍😍
Reply
olddog57

February 8, 2023

Viv, I’m so glad you’re writing about this. I hope your writing is as cathartic for you as it is for us. You truly have a gift, and I enjoy reading every word, in spite of the subject matter! More dog and cat videos coming your way!
Reply
Heather Wootton

February 8, 2023

Sending loads of love
Reply
Linda

February 8, 2023

Viv, we are thinking of you every day. Thank you for the update. Sending you love.
Reply
Catherine Low

February 8, 2023

Thank you, Vivian, for sharing so openly about your journey. Not just this current journey but all the previous ones where you journeyed through knitting and gardening and camping. This current journey is obviously a lot more daunting but you have within you everything you are going to need to get through it.

‘As you start to walk on the way, the way appears’ – Rumi
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 8, 2023
  
  Thank you, Catherine, I love that quote from Rumi. xoxo
Reply
Larry Larson

February 8, 2023

Endless love to you always, my dear Viv. I continue to keep you, Dave, Erica, and Travis deep in my heart and hourly thoughts. Whatever, whenever, wherever, you know I’m there for all of you.
Reply
Diana lee

February 8, 2023

viv everytime I read your blog, I am in tears, I don’t know what you’re going thru, few of us do. But I do know what Dave is going thru, please know my heart is with both of you. I know your words will have a profound effect on so many people. ♥️♥️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 8, 2023
  
  Sorry not to see you today, Diana, but yes, someone has to hold down the fort! Thanks for your words of support, they mean a lot to me. xoxo
Reply
Ingrid Pavilanis

February 8, 2023

Dear Viv,
You touch people/me with your perpetual smile and sparkling eyes. You are a beacon of joy and love – it permeates through your family and wide circle of friends. Grounded, Joyful, Kind, Renegade. Don’t ever change – even if it’s hard to say “please” these days! Love you.
Ingrid
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 8, 2023
  
  Thanks, Ingrid. I hope you and your gang are doing well. xoxo
Reply
Victoria

February 3, 2023

Dearest Vivian, I just heard and I am so sorry. I can think of little to say except to note how gracious, wise and generous you are in this latest post. Your tranquil garden has always been a balm for mood and soul. I know you have all the character traits and family support you need for this journey, but I do wish you peace of mind and moments of quiet joy.
Reply
Margot Maddison-MacFadyen

February 2, 2023

Oh, Viv. What terrible news.

I think of you as aquamarine blue, the colour of Turks and Caicos water pearling over white sand. We floated in it together years ago with Dave, Laura, and Gary, and all of us sun-splashed.

My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4, non-operable cancer of the omentum about five years ago, and she passed last October. She was on a basketful of medications that kept her comfortable and the cancer at bay. What finally took her from us were secondary infections, not the cancer.

I am glad that you are at home and supported by family and friends as you ride this wave. And I hope that you have several more years on Earth ahead of you, as did my mom after her diagnosis.

There is hope.

You are in my thoughts, aquamarine blue and sun-splashed, but also anticipating the arrival of Spring and the stirring of lovely green things, velvety and fragrant, and the blooms of roses.

Love,

Margot
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 7, 2023
  
  Thank you, Margot, I appreciate your beautiful words and I’m glad your Mom outlived expectations. I hope I will too! Take care, Viv
Reply
Janet

January 30, 2023

I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, Viv., and am uplifted by your humour. It can be comforting to know you no longer have to worry about getting Alzheimer’s. I am encouraged by your support system and know they will bouy you on your journey. I wish you the best of heath care. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you and your family. Hugs.
Reply
Peter Christensen

January 30, 2023

Oof. That’s rough news indeed, Vivian. Sonia and I send you and Dave all our love and support. I’m so glad you have a good support system around you. We know first-hand how essential and comforting that is. If either of you ever need to talk, we’re just a phone call away. *big hugs*
Reply
Michael Carpenter

January 30, 2023

Dear Viv, I am filled with sadness on learning of this cruel attack on a beautiful,caring person such as you. I have read your blog of June 2022 on death which leads me to believe that you possess those special qualities which may help you and Dave and your family in the days to come.
Reply
Philip Trudeau

January 29, 2023

Old Friend..When I heard I was in disbelief. The Garden is a beautiful place to be in .You have and always been a dear
friend of our family. Mindfulness is a good practice for all.
I hope to be in Montreal in June and if you are felling well enough it would be awesome to have a tea and a walk to catch up on all the years that have gone by oh soo quickly.
So for now I wish much peace to you and your family. 🙏
PHILIP T.
Reply
Paul Bauer

January 29, 2023

Your strength and uplifting perspective are remarkable, and your message compels many to celebrate the wonder of you.
Reply
Nathalie

January 29, 2023

Let’s have more laughing tears in your quiet garden for the current and next saisons, dear adorable neighbors! Xoxo.
Reply
Kevin Lee

January 28, 2023

My dear sister… I was so happy to be able to talk to you yesterday. I get that you do not have the emotional energy to interact. That is ok. In fact anything you want is ok. Tyler is right you are your own epic adventure. You have clocked more travel miles than any 10 ordinary folk like me. You have put your heart out there for more people to enjoy than any 10 other ordinary folk either. Hugs to you. Love, Kevin.
Reply
Heather Wootton

January 28, 2023

Oh Viv! This is heartbreaking news! Please know I’m holding you close and sending love and strength to you, Dave and the family. I know you will meet this with your usual grace and courage. ❤️
Reply
Pat

January 28, 2023

Dear Birthday Mate!
Your tranquil garden is the absolute best place to be for your mind, body, and spirit!! Many blessings are sent for both you, and your family.
Love, hugs, and prayers!!
Pat
Reply
Catherine Low

January 28, 2023

Hi Vivian,

I knew ‘the facts’ before reading your blog but seeing this in black and white makes it suddenly all too real. I’m feeling so sad for you and for the whole family right now. This is not the retirement that you had planned. I am willing to help you in anyway I can through this next part of your journey. Perhaps I can start by supporting Allison with Iggy so that Travis can spend whatever time he needs to in Montreal with you?

With love and many, many tight hugs,
Catherine
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2023
  
  Thank you, Catherine, that kind of support would be invaluable. I worry about Trav’s absence putting to great a burden on Allison. With luck in a few weeks I hope all of them can come and stay but for the moment it’s too much for me. Xoxo
Reply
Shelley

January 28, 2023

You have so much courage – courage for facing this horrible disease, courage for doing so with grace and humour, and courage for letting people know so they can share the pain and adversity with you. My sister’s sister-in-law, upon discovering she had stage 4 lung and brain cancer, planned as much travel as she could while she could. Maybe plan a mini-adventure with your travel trailer (or without it) anyway, if and when you can. I don’t know you well, but, boy, I really wish you didn’t have this news.
Reply
onceuponanape

January 28, 2023

Words seemed empty at this point. I send you a hug.
Reply
Irina

January 28, 2023

Dear Vivian, I want only to hug you and hold close to my heart. I will do it when we are back to Montreal. All our love from Michel and me.
Reply
Katy McD.

January 28, 2023

Hey, bub, I do not like this update. I do not like it at all.

What I do like is the loving and supportive family … and the humour. Always the humour. Laugh, I thought I’d cry.

What can I do, here in the far away land of Hamilton, Ontario? If there is something, say it, and it will be done. For instance, if you ever need a virtuoso of bad language to yell some bad swears into the void for you, I’m your woman.

Meanwhile, I send you love and love and also did I mention love? Oh yes, so much of that. xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2023
  
  Thank you, my dear friend. Love to you too. Xoxo
Reply
Elizabeth

January 28, 2023

Well, this stinks! I hope the chemo isn’t too rough on you! I like the idea of holding on to “Tranquil Garden”. Your garden is the perfect place to rest. oxoxoxo
Reply
Timothy Booth

January 28, 2023

This is heart breaking news to Louise and I. I am so sorry and we are in tears! We love you dearly and please know that we are with you in these troubling times. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help. Keep your family close. Your courage is exemplary. Sending our deep Love to you all!
Reply
Sophie Dugas

January 28, 2023

Thank you for this update, Vivian. Sending so much love – to you and the whole family. ❤️
Wishing you peace of mind, minimal physical discomfort, and more slow races between old dogs and toddlers.
Reply
Laura

January 28, 2023

My heart hurts. I’ll see you soon, Dave will need a break from cooking and I’ll happily take over. 🥰🥰🥰
Reply
Wor@1ybi7Wc

January 28, 2023

Yeah don’t worry about that fan.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2023
  
  You’ve proven my point about how we cope! 😘😘😘
Reply
Tyler Martin

January 28, 2023

Vivian, the epic adventure which is your life will continue. As always I hope to be part of it and join in the laughter and tears.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2023
  
  Oh, Tyler, your simple words made me cry so hard. You’ve always been such a big part of our lives and you’ll definitely continue to be. Hoping to spend some time recuperating at the cottage at some point. Xoxo
Reply
Nancy

December 30, 2022

Something to think about once you travel; you will be driving through the US, and may have to deal with their health system. After living in LA for 17 years, we learned that this is no joke. Find out about your insurance, and how it will work. Your stomach ulcer could be called a preexisting condition that they won’t cover, plan ahead as to how to handle any issues. Then you can have a safe and happy trip 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 30, 2022
  
  Thanks for the advice, Nancy! That is part of what makes me nervous. We have insurance through Blue Cross, but I’ve heard they can be murder to deal with. I have to let them know of any changes in our conditions so it’s worth letting them know about this and see what they say. 🙁
Reply
Lucie Levac

December 30, 2022

I hope you can settle your stomach problems soon and be on your way to Mexico.
Reply
Andrew Clayden

December 30, 2022

Wow, I hope this works out for you. Lots of uncertainty, but at some point the way forward will present itself. Best wishes!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 30, 2022
  
  Thanks, Andrew! Us too!
Reply
Joyce

December 30, 2022

Sorry to hear about your stomach problems. I had the same issue for about 6 months 12 years ago. I did have a huge ulcer and a hole in my stomach the test showed. I had to insist on the endoscopy as the doctor thought I was too young and not stressed to have an ulcer. After a month on the medication I was good as new, so you should feel much better in a week or two. Good luck and I hope the trip can proceed.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 30, 2022
  
  Oh I’m sorry you went through that! Were you on antibiotics, then? Didn’t have to have surgery? Thanks for reading and sharing your experience. Happy new Year!
Reply
noralee2014

December 23, 2022

Re your age and are you crazy, it seems to me to be very common for retirees to take to the road in an RV or a trailer so you would not be alone. It is pretty small but what you are really doing is camping but with extra comfort so you will probably do much of your campsite time outside, like someone else said. Have a great adventure, Vivian, Dave and Buster!
Reply
Nancy

November 29, 2022

I hope you have as much fun as we will all have, following your adventures! At least knitting doesn’t take up too much room, so you will be able to enjoy that too , I hope 🙂
Reply
Andrew Clayden

November 29, 2022

Sue and I did the trip Qc to BC one time in the Westy with a 15-year-old, and eight-year old, and I brought a trombone along. It turned out that the trombone was excess baggage!
Reply
Jill

November 29, 2022

Bon Voyage!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  Thank you!!
Reply
S. Hunt

November 29, 2022

I love that you are so brave and creative with your retirement time. All will be well.
♥️😎❤️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  Thanks, Sandra! xoxo
Reply
Andrew Clayden

November 29, 2022

Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out! It took us awhile to get used to our Westfalia too, but we always went to sleep saying “WE’RE CAMPING!” For me, the biggest challenge was not taking too much stuff along…….because you end up constantly having to move it out of the way to get that other thing you are looking for. Also, you have a tiny trailer, but rainstorms aside, you will spend most of your time outdoors so really, the lack of space is of minor importance…….especially because it forces you to bring less stuff along, LOL! HAve Fun!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  That’s inspiring and good advice! We will think carefully before packing too much stuff in there. 🙂
Reply
Jennifer

November 29, 2022

Trailer looks nice!👍 We’ve now got 2 dogs, so less portable than ever.😬
Reply
Jennifer Short

November 29, 2022

Hi Dave & Vivian,
I’ve fantasizes about doing something like this with Joe, ever since we came across a friend’s tiny, cute TAG teardrop camper. But, I’m nervous, too. We’re not even regular campers. So…🤷‍♀️ You’ll be our “canaries in the mine”. Good luck & have fun!! Jennifer & Joe Lanza
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  I see tons of people on Youtube traveling with more than one dog. Don’t let that stop you! 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Reply
Peter

November 28, 2022

Adventures are fun! At least you don’t have to practice trombone in there. I’m betting the road stories will be epic!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  It’s true, no trombones will be played in the trailer. Not sure there’s room! LOL
Reply
Rob Johnson

November 28, 2022

So awesome! We have a teardrop. Drove it across country with the kids!!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  Amazing! If you can do it with kids I guess we can do it with a dog! Wish us luck!
Reply
David Russell Martin

November 28, 2022

Well, I’m nervous, so that makes two of us!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  Haha! I was counting on you to be the calm one!!
  - Reply
    Dave Martin
    
    December 1, 2022
    
    As is our practise, it’s one of us, then the other…
Ann

November 16, 2022

Nice! Bon voyage! I’m sure you will have an amazing time!
- Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  It’ll be amazing one way or another, I guess! LOL Thanks!
Reply
Phyllis Jensen

November 16, 2022

What a great adventure for you and Dave! I’m so excited for you!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2022
  
  Thanks, Phyllis, I hope so!
Reply
Greg

November 16, 2022

Enjoy your adventure!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 16, 2022
  
  Thanks!
Reply
Nancy

November 16, 2022

One of the great things in life is the anticipation of, and planning for something new, so have a blast! And think of what we do for our pets 😂
Reply
Ron Sigal

November 16, 2022

Hi Vivian
It sounds exciting! Make sure you obtain the appropriate insurance for both your car and the trailer, that will be valid in Mexico.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 16, 2022
  
  Thanks! I’ve heard that, so we’ll be on top of it.
Reply
Shelley

November 14, 2022

It’s very hard to second guess when aging and infirm parents may pass on. I had said ‘goodbye’ to my 86-year old father twice in as many months only to be caught off-guard while on a vacation to Quebec City. Rather than rushing back home, I finished my trip (we had met friends there and didn’t want to ‘spoil’ their trip) before joining my family for the funeral a few days later. I also felt somewhat guilty but really don’t think it would have made much of a difference when I went. I imagine your father would have wanted you to go and be on your trip without worry.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 14, 2022
  
  Hi, Shelley, thanks for your answer, which is quite a comfort. Knowing my Dad, I think you’re right that he wouldn’t have wanted me to worry. However, I’m still left with a lingering sense that I let him down, which causes me a pang. I have to remind myself that life is for the living, and he certainly embraced that philosophy wholeheartedly.
Reply
Andrew Clayden

November 11, 2022

I had a similar experience with the death of my father too. Although it really sucked at the time, I was glad I did NOT see my dad at the end. He was in really bad shape, and I think he would prefer my memories of him were based on the healthy version. I certainly prefer those memories.
I try not to attach too much importance to these “what if” scenarios. It happened the way it happened and feeling guilty and wishing it was different is a waste of energy…….energy that can be spent living life, not “worrying” life.

We lost a friend at the end of the summer, and it was the same story – we did not get to her in time to see her before she passed. Rats! But I’m not gonna feel guilty about it. It happened, it’s done, we’ll miss her and that is that. We’ll cherish our memories of her.

Life is for living!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 14, 2022
  
  Your take on it is a healthy one. I mostly think the same way, but revisiting that memory brought up the pain associated with both losing my father, and the feeling that I let him down. It just occurred to me now that he was probably incapable of expressing his wishes either way, so my niece probably hinted that I should call more for my sake than his. I doubt whether it was his idea. He was busy with the business of dying, which took literally all his energy. I may be inflating my own importance to think he focused on whether or not I got in touch in his last days. Thanks for reading, as always!
Reply
Sandra

November 6, 2022

Vivian. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this heavy weight of guilt. I think that your dad would tell you to release it, the best way you can. I understand that guilt. I have many when it comes to my parents and especially, Bobby. I think of what I could have done differently. We all feel we could have done better. I’m hoping that knowing that we did the best we could at the time, for whatever reasons, was enough. Sending you love and hugs.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 7, 2022
  
  Thank you, Sandra. It’s always hard to handle end-of-life stuff. So many regrets and questions about how we dealt with things. And of course, the sadness about losing the person on top of all of that. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
Linda

November 6, 2022

Thank you for sharing that memory. I sure hope you don’t still feel guilty, as I know you are a loving and caring person… and if I know that, so did your Dad. He must have been happy knowing you were set in the world and he didn’t have to worry about you.
Your story made me think of the last Christmas holidays we had with our dad…so many relatively normal interactions, now cherished in my memory.
❤️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 7, 2022
  
  Thank you, Linda! It’s kind of you to say so. Those last memories sure are precious. xoxo
Reply
Marcelo

November 5, 2022

Touching personal story so adeptly told and so relatable.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 7, 2022
  
  Thanks, Marcelo.
Reply
David Russell Martin

November 5, 2022

Oh my goodness, dear. It’s difficult; but i think you’re being too hard on yourself; but it’s easy for me to say…
- Reply
  Louise
  
  November 7, 2022
  
  Thanks for sharing, Vivian, a beautiful, very real story.
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    November 14, 2022
    
    Thank you, Louise, and thanks for reading. xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 7, 2022
  
  Maybe…maybe… xo
Reply
Dave Martin

October 6, 2022

Well, Viv, this might be your 2nd or 3rd or 23rd gardening post, but welcome it is! Having been around for the most of it, I have to say I was glad to read about the evolution of our garden, and I can say that I was there too, when there was a fence and a lot of blank space. Well done, hon!
Reply
Sandra

October 4, 2022

This is exactly how I feel visiting the garden and making discoveries, often cause I completely forgot what I’d planted the year before. This year a little caladium came up that I must have thrown as an inviable bit of root into the compost. Low and behold if it didn’t raise its pretty head when we put a circle of compost around the Japanese maple tree!
Reply
Lynn Giesbrecht

October 3, 2022

Always so fun to read your musings, and they are always so relatable! My gardening interests have also dropped off this year and I would much rather quilt or knit in my spare time…. I like how it looks but just not into doing the work!! Keep writing!!
Reply
Heather Wootton

October 2, 2022

I feel we are kindreds spirits! Much love Viv!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 2, 2022
  
  Awesome! 😂
Reply
Marcelo

September 29, 2022

When I retire, I will meet you somewhere in our charming neighbourhood:)
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 29, 2022
  
  That would be lovely!
Reply
David Russell Martin

September 24, 2022

Beautifully said, dear Vivian; I loved your musings on our neighborhood and the people therein!
Reply
Dave Martin

September 24, 2022

Well done, Vivi! A stirring reminder of the style, and a lovely look into your former life… I have never heard you speak that way about your Grandma and the place they lived… xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 24, 2022
  
  Thanks, hon! xo
Reply
Andrew Clayden

September 4, 2022

Oh Viv, this is PRECIOUS!
Please remind Dave of our journeys to IMC together – the first one in our Nissan pickup truck which lacked even a RADIO! We decided very early on in the trip that if one of us was going to tell the other a story it would be the looonng version, not the short one.
We are both petty good at the concept and the miles went by quickly.
….evidently, you are too!A.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2022
  
  Thank you, Andrew! I’m sure he remembers that trip very fondly, since he’s mentioned it to me quite a few times. I will tell him you mentioned it, though! Yes, Proust is the absolute master of the long version story!! If you’re a patient and enthusiastic reader, I encourage you to try it. Thank you for the feedback, it’s always welcome!
Reply
Lucie

September 4, 2022

You write so well. I enjoy it very much.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 4, 2022
  
  Thanks, Lucie! xo
Reply
David Martin

August 19, 2022

I love what you did with the colours here, and I will forgive you for BUYING any more wool! Hahaha
Reply
Sandra L Donatelle

August 8, 2022

I love your blogging, Vivian. Particularly, the way you seem to be just talking out loud. Musing, as it were. Keep it up! These are delightful.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 8, 2022
  
  Thank you, Sandra! That means a lot!
Reply
Laura

August 7, 2022

I love this! It really makes me want to read or reread many of the classics I read or didn’t many years ago. You’re an inspiration Viv! 🥰
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 8, 2022
  
  Thanks, Laura! Xoxo
Reply
Mridu

August 2, 2022

Great that you’re reading Proust with Dave! Sometimes you need the encouragement, the prodding but you also need to be able to share amazing sentences, deep psychological insights and the gossipy elements that make it all worthwhile. I think two copies are a must so you can scribble comments and mark it up!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 3, 2022
  
  Well, we haven’t figured out a system yet, but I’ve already received one set in the mail and I’ve started the journey. So far, I like it. Thanks for the inspiration, btw!
  - Reply
    Mridu
    
    August 3, 2022
    
    Happy to be part of your proustian journey! Good luck!
Reply
Shelley T

August 1, 2022

Ditto. When I finished law school years ago, I didn’t read a single book for about 3 years, just magazine articles with pictures. I have found my way back, I read across the spectrum, and interestingly, I have also decided to delve deeper – I’ve recently downloaded Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, Persuasion by Jane Austen (admittedly lighter reading), Tess of the D’ubervilles by Thomas Hardy, and a complete set of Emily Dickinson’s poems. Let’s see if I actually get to them, ha ha!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 1, 2022
  
  That’s super cool! Maybe it’s our ages? If we don’t do these things now, when? Persuasion may be a light(er) read but it’s such a great and satisfying one. She created the template for the modern romance, but she went far beyond that in her wonderful irony and wry wit. She’s one of my favourites! I’m also thinking of getting into poetry a bit, and what better place to start than Emily Dickinson?
Reply
Linda

July 31, 2022

How about audible for reading while knitting? You can have the hard copy nearby for re reads, and taking notes. The only thing is… how automatic is your knitting? Walking and audible blé go together well. Again though, is that still dividing your attention?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 1, 2022
  
  Hi, Linda! Audible is great for knitting along to, but for any kind of deep dive into reading, I don’t think I can be doing anything else at the same time. Also, for something that you need to go back and maybe reread a page several times (like Proust is already proving to be!) it would be a pain to have to rewind all the time. I definitely listen to podcasts or watch videos, or listen to lighter books while I knit, though, they’re great for that!
Reply
Laura

July 30, 2022

Anna Karenina was the first book we read in book club. Remember, I had 3 of them all different translations that I sloughed off at our December Christmas party?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 30, 2022
  
  I remember you getting rid of them all, but I wasn’t in the book club when you read Anna K. It was before my time!
Reply
Mary

July 30, 2022

I will consider doing my own version of this. I have time at work to read and should set a 30 min timer to get me going. However, I will go for pure pleasure reading.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 30, 2022
  
  Yes, do that! I really hope that what I’m planning will also be pleasure reading, but it will definitely be more effortful. We’ll see how it goes. I have a feeling that if I’m not getting much out of it, I will abandon it!
Reply
David Russell Martin

July 30, 2022

Love your setting your goals so publicly; there’s no turning back now! Hahaha…
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 30, 2022
  
  Ack!! I guess you’re right! LOL
Reply
David Russell Martin

July 17, 2022

Very powerful post, Vivian. Keep up your voice; it’s needed!!
Reply
David Russell Martin

July 7, 2022

You know, you’re not even close to as bad as your mom was (bless her soul). 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 8, 2022
  
  Haha, thanks Dave!xoxo
Reply
Beth

July 5, 2022

Hi Vivian. Sitting in Mary’s kitchen. She’s looking up a recent FB post on death. I was in Bedford before coming to Waterloo, and I find when I’m there I’m often thinking about death. I’ve read a lot of books about death and dying, and want to make sure I’m well “prepared” in advance. Of course death can’t be predicted, but it’s good to be prepared. The Sunshine Coast Hospice Society recommends something called a “Greensleeve Advance Care Plan.”
They describe it as:

Think of the Green Sleeve as your healthcare passport. It is a place to store your emergency medical information and Advance Care Plan documents and to have them readily available in case of emergency or in anticipation of your declining health.

I’m going to work on mine this summer.

What is death? The final verse, chorus and bridge from one of my songs says:

Creation, destruction, most eternal way
Waiting for my salvation
Source of all silence and sure inner grace
Time draws me onward, leading me home
Just passing through with this skin and bones
Now I’m just waiting for,

My salvation, waiting for my salvation.

All of us permeate all of eternity
Consciousness passes to pure, formless energy
The sun rises high, the moon echoes on
Through infinite, ongoing cycles of time.

Now I’m waiting for, my salvation
Waiting for my salvation.

*******

It’s important to live, but be ready for death.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 7, 2022
  
  Thank you for reading, Beth, and sharing that beautiful poem. Have you ever heard of Norwegian “death cleaning”? At age fifty people start shedding belongings in preparation for their eventual demise. I love that idea, and I think, along with having a will and an End of Life plan, getting rid of things we don’t use while we’re still here is a gift to those who will look after things when we’re gone.
Reply
David Martin

June 26, 2022

Beautiful post, Vivian!
Reply
Clifford Trott

June 26, 2022

As usual, well written. Today is my mother’s birthday. She would have been 95. She passed away 3 years ago. I had three major crises, events happening at the time and I never was able to set aside time for grieving. I think we need that designated period as described in your mention of Shiva. It takes a step outside our comfort zone to address and write on this subject.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 26, 2022
  
  Yes, the idea of Shiva and the gradual reentry into society seems so smart to me. It’s very humanitarian. Yes, it’s hard to talk about this stuff, but essential.
Reply
Linda Umbrico

June 25, 2022

Death is goodbye for good…. So very hard.
As I get older I try to appreciate my time with people I love… keep in the present.
Thank you for your post.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 26, 2022
  
  Yes, it’s important to appreciate the little things as time goes on. Thanks for reading, Linda! xo
Reply
Andrew Clayden

June 1, 2022

Wow, what an adventure! Sue and I no longer travel very well and don’t know if we’ll ever make it to the UK in spite of having scads of family members there who we’d love to visit. Your comment about the traffic makes me cringe – I have no patience for line-ups of any sort. Yes Air B&B is a problem even here on Gabriola……needless to say the locals are not fond of the concept. All of that said, the photos are lovely and Cornwall seems beautiful from everything I have seen or heard about it. Pub crawl and sightseeing? That sounds like a “win!”
Reply
Linda Umbrico

June 1, 2022

Love hearing about your trip! I hadn’t realized what was happening with Air B&B (sad).
Reply
Wil

May 17, 2022

Let’s get cottages near each other… Bancroft is a bit far though!
Keep a small place in the city.
Bugs can be annoying, but they’re gone by August!
That Marginaliam looks good!
Reply
Lindsey Meagher

May 16, 2022

Thanks so much Viv for the link to Marginaliam, a wonderful discovery.
The Dirge Without Music is so painfully beautiful, very moving.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 16, 2022
  
  I’m so glad you like it! That poem is exquisite. Also, thanks for reading! Hope you and Augusta are doing well. xo
Reply
Tuna Stubbs

May 16, 2022

Country dweller here. I’ll never go back to a city. More so much space (lots of exercise looking after it), no light pollution (you can see the aurora borealis), out buildings to use as gyms or studios or anything else you desire, no sirens, car alarms, cars. A bigger property allowing proper working from home (an office). The wildlife (waking up to a deer in the veggie patch can be annoying).
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 16, 2022
  
  That all sounds very intriguing. I’ll have to find somewhere in the Scottish Highlands just like that! 🙂 Hope you’re all doing well!
Reply
Linda Umbrico

May 15, 2022

I love to go on trails and hikes and sleep with nature sounds outside my window and stars visible in the skies…. However a couple of nights per season, plus by weekly day trips are usually inspiration enough. In the city, there are always people around, and I feel safer and less lonely.
I think it often has to do with where one has grown up. Don’t you?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 16, 2022
  
  Yes, I’m sure it has a lot to do with your childhood experiences. I did spend some time in the country as a child and I have many fond memories. I just don’t know about full-time… I love my neighbours and friends here so much!
Reply
Lucie

April 20, 2022

I love the Buster stories. ❤️❤️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 20, 2022
  
  Thanks, Lucie!! I love writing them, and I can’t help loving Buster either, even though he’s a pain! lol
Reply
Maureen

April 14, 2022

Very uplifting post, Viv. Thanks for reminding us that hope springs eternal (who said that?) I can’t wait to watch the Tranquil Garden grow 🙂
Reply
David Martin

April 12, 2022

What an inspiring post, hon! It’s great to hear from you, especially about gardening (and car-washing!). And you are right, (although I hadn’t really thought about it), spring is just the blink-of-an-eye. Great post!
Reply
David+Martin

March 12, 2022

I have to say, you’re speaking what a lot of us are thinking right now, and a lot more besides. I hope this ends up for Putin, at least a very black eye.
Reply
Beth

March 8, 2022

Hello from Mary Jay’s sister. She occasionally refers me to your blog, and most recently to this post. I had not heard of CEN, but I took a couple of quizzes, and yes, I can identify with what I’ve read about it so far. I’ve also done a lot of reading about attachment theory, and it too makes a lot of sense to me. Plus, being an introvert……isn’t trying to understand one’s life “interesting…….”
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 8, 2022
  
  Thank you for reading, Beth! You’re right, it is « interesting », isn’t it? Also complicated and frustrating at times! Take care of yourself!
Reply
Nancy

February 28, 2022

Jill said it well, you are me and I am you. I think that a huge amount of people in the arts feel this way. I had a little help for the imposter syndrome: when I applied to the music faculty at McGill , the required grade average was 65 (I assume THAT has changed!) if you excelled in music, vs 70 for the rest of the programs. My mother told me I wasn’t smart enough to get into McGill any other way. Ahh Parents, I don’t think they mean to cause such emotional damage. She apologized 10 years or so later, probably after reading our concert reviews in the Montreal newspapers. To top it off, I blew off school and barely got out with a degree because of my terrible marks for anything but performance classes. When I went to USC for my Masters in LA, I was a probation student at 53 yrs old and made up for it by working my tail off, FINALLY. Onstage, I would still feel like a giant imposter because I was now playing jazz solos … I guess it never really goes away. As my husband always said, if they don’t want you there, they will be quick to get you out. So relax and enjoy the music in spite of yourself!
Reply
Nicole

February 27, 2022

Hey Viv! I am loving your mental health posts. So important. I wanted to say this post really validated the way we are raising our kids. We always take the time to validate feelings and try to work together to solve conflicts between the kids. It’s easy to brush them off as frivolous arguments when you’re the adult and they are fighting over something silly, but it’s so important to recognize that what might seem frivolous to us, could feel devastating to someone else. I think many of us had childhoods where our feelings were not validated, and I love that more awareness surrounding this is being spread. Hope you and Dave are well! Xo Nicole
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 27, 2022
  
  Thank you for reading Nicole and giving me your feedback. I’m so glad you’re trying to tune into your sons’ feelings, it must be quite a continuous process with three of them!! xoxo
Reply
Clifford Trott

February 26, 2022

Very good article. I’m sure it will be helpful to a lot of people.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 27, 2022
  
  Thanks, Clifford! 🙂
Reply
Jill

February 26, 2022

Oh my goodness Vivian…you are me and I am you…reading your post, you put into words exactly how I have felt all my life.It was always my little secret that I fooled them all…I just have to replace trombone with French Horn.One day we will have to compare notes!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 27, 2022
  
  Hi, Jill! I’m a bit astonished at how many people have told me that! I guess we’re all pretty insecure! Hope you’re enjoying your retirement. 🙂
Reply
Andrew Clayden

February 20, 2022

As always, an interesting post, Viv. There is an awful lot to think about here, but I’ll try to keep my comment focused,LOL!

Many of us baby-boomers in Canada had parents who lived with pretty extreme adversity – of course I am referring to the Great Depression and the Second World War….and maybe the Korean War for some. Considering the evolution of the science of psychology at the time during which they were in their formative years, it is little wonder that many of us grew up in households where emotion was something to be hidden in the closet.

My parents immigrated from England in the early 1950’s carrying with them that “stiff upper lip” mentality so “natural” to the British psyche. As a kid, I was pretty sensitive, so naturally was quick to tears and acting out for one reason or another. As a boy, this was really not cool – especially on the playground with other boys, many of whom were of more burly “Canadian” stock and who would see tears as a MAJOR WEAKNESS to be avoided at all costs. Reinforced by a) my parents’ insistence on stiff upper lip, and b) my own urge to be more like my playmates, I learned over time how to keep those tears in check. Probably the last time I cried in front of others as a young person was around grade six or so.

Fast forward to my late 40’s and the trombone playing issues I was having thanks to focal dystonia, where I found myself visiting a CBT psychologist who really helped me see how I had learned to create that rigid front which left little space to express emotions. Over a relatively short period I managed to be aware of that wall, and to be able to pull it down as necessary……..(seriously, who wants to be in the presence of somebody “emoting” constantly? They have a name for those people…..LOL!).

Today, looking at the CEN list above, I had to chuckle to myself as there are a lot of questions that at one time I might have answered “yes” but today give a solid “no.” We all have the capacity to evolve and although names/titles/descriptions help us make sense of our world, I am uncomfortable about being too hung up on labels. We evolve…..

Cheers! A.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 20, 2022
  
  Thanks, Andrew, you always have something interesting to add to the conversation! You’re right about labels, I’m not sure they always serve us. However, I think that if you’ve been struggling all your life to make sense of your feelings and reactions, and you finally find what might be the reason for your struggle, it’s comforting to have it defined and have a name for it. I’m glad you got some help when you needed it, and I can totally relate to your history. I agree that we evolve and hopefully start to understand ourselves better!
Reply
Sandra

February 16, 2022

As always, you write so eloquently and sympathetically my dear friend!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 16, 2022
  
  Thank you, Sandra! xo
Reply
Clifford Trott

January 20, 2022

Hi Vivian. First of all I want to congratulate you on your courage and honesty in talking about private difficulties with the idea of helping others. Understanding eating disorders is always very difficult for both those who have them and those, like me, who never quite understood them. I was very moved to hear about your experience. We use the term comfort food because most people find comfort in food. Many talk of memories of “mother’s cooking or grandma’s fresh bread.” When we’re sick we find comfort in chicken noodle soup or when it’s cold outside a hot bowl of chili comes to mind. But for many food fills an empty space and it isn’t your stomach. For me, thinking of a young girl facing adulthood with new responsibilities, and having that need to fill the empty space and having the anxiety about weight gain answers all those questions. Such a worthwhile post you made. Well written and thought provoking.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 20, 2022
  
  Thank you, Clifford! It’s not easy to write about these things, but once I get an idea into my head, it doesn’t rest until it’s out in the world and this was no different. With the passage of time some things become easier to share. I appreciate your kind comments. Take care!
Reply
Tzippi Pellat

January 20, 2022

You wrote what I was going to say… you looking just fine in high school. The perfect womanly body was shoved down our throats and none of us could match it. Friends tell me I was always too thin but I remember thinking if I ever got over 100lbs then raised to 110lbs I would stop eating! Fortunately I could never stick to a diet. I am addicted to chocolate and like to eat. I always felt dumpy and not feminine looking enough. I was probably underweight! Not easy to like your body. I hope today’s teenagers have better role models and guidance but I doubt it.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 20, 2022
  
  Thanks for sharing your perspective, Tzippi. Being a teenager was hard because so much of what our bodies were going through was just plain confusing. I don’t think any of us had a grasp of the reality of our bodies.
Reply
Nancy

January 20, 2022

Very thoughtful comments on such a difficult topic. In my large family circle including in-laws, 2 dealt with bulimia, one seems anorexic, another developed such serious food allergies from eating absolute garbage to maintain an ideal weight, that it still runs that life 40 ears later. My father put 3 of us on Weight Watchers in our early teens, as we reflected poorly on his charismatic businessman, post pro-football profile. I am sure he thought he was making a good choice for his children. It backfired for one of us, who gained 60 pounds. As first born, I did what I was told.. no rebellion til years later 🙂 … but it worked and I did learn to eat healthy foods in general. A young woman’s image of herself seems to always be out of proportion to reality. At 5’6 and 10 pounds overweight, I felt like a short fat tank. Looking back at photos, that was not the reality. Sounds familiar? However I imagine it is the norm to have food and body issues growing up, rather than feeling secure… perhaps it goes with being a teen, and then later we have our own inner confidence. It might not be such a big deal if this is taught as normal, and to see it coming, rather than suffer in silence and think you are the only one.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 20, 2022
  
  Hi, Nancy, thank you so much for your thoughtful input. It sounds a bit rough, being put on WW by one’s dad! At least it wasn’t the Bread Diet! I was on WW briefly, so I know it’s at least a balanced diet, and I’m glad you benefited to some extent. I really believe that as adolescents, having perspective on our own bodies was practically impossible. I agree, more education could be extremely valuable.
Reply
Andrew Clayden

December 31, 2021

Wow, I share many of these thoughts and feelings with you! Thanks to FD my life took a relatively sudden turn to being simplified in that I was no longer going to work at the orchestra every day! Obviously that was a source of stress for a long time but eventually I adapted to a new existence where yes, I still had a job (the conservatoire of course), but I was underemployed according to my younger self’s system of classifying things.

Watching my colleagues who were still playing in the orchestra AND teaching and everything else was an eye-opening experience – I realized that I had been just like them: stressed out, exhausted, anxious, running on fumes, abusing alcohol, etc. Even though I missed the orchestra deeply, I did not miss all of that other stuff……well, maybe a drink now and again,LOL!

Fast forward to now and being “retired” during these uneven covid times. I find myself way too busy with musical exploits when covid protocols allow us to be out and about. I am absolutely enjoying it! When covid keeps us apart, I tend to be very unfocussed. A case in point is I was supposed to have a trio gig in January which has now been postponed due to covid. As we were deciding on rep for the show, I churned out several arrangements and transcriptions in a short amount of time. As soon as the plug was temporarily pulled, finishing that one last tune has taken seemingly FOREVER! As of last night it might be finished……..but I still need to check it over. But wait, I’m going skiing with a friend this morning,LOL! It might get finished soon…..or not,LOL! Hmmm….maybe I’ll have another coffee before the skiing…?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 31, 2021
  
  Great to hear your perspective, Andrew! I’m glad you’re enjoying doing music for fun, I know I will, once I get back to it. It’s a bummer about COVID, but it’s only temporary. Re: watching your colleagues doing so much and coming to the realization you don’t miss that craziness, I get it! Many of my ex-colleagues are still working incredibly hard (well, Covid permitting!) and I often wonder whether they thrive on it, or if they’re barely hanging in. I know I was much healthier mentally and physically when I slowed down and chose to do things outside of my profession that created a better balance. Happy New Year!
Reply
Daveinem

December 9, 2021

Amen and amen, Vivian! We can be there for a while here and there to help out!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 10, 2021
  
  Yes, we will! Xoxo
Reply
Linda Umbrico

December 9, 2021

Thank you for this post! I agree that bonding and love can look different and develop differently in different people.
I find the topic of bonding, family ties and relationships so interesting. I remember seeing new parents once…and what I noticed more cleary than the developing bond between parents and new born, was the developing increased bond between the parents.
You so clearly and honestly spoke about family. I felt like we were simply continuing the conversation. Thank you!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 10, 2021
  
  I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for asking the question because it made me think about it and recognize my feelings. Xo
Reply
Catherine Motuz

December 6, 2021

I just watched a video about the meteor in Russia in 2013, and how lots of people came to the window to take a look after it exploded in the atmosphere, only to have the window shatter inwards when the shock wave came 90 seconds later. So I made a mental note : of I see an explosion in the distance, don’t hang around the window but take cover. Made me feel slightly more in control and slightly safer if such an event were to happen near me. So maybe that’s part of it??
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2021
  
  Hi, Catherine! I think that’s right! The narrator always mentions the things that have been learned and how safety protocols have been updated due to these tragedies. I just watched one about the meteor that hit Siberia I think in the 1850’s. It was devastating but so remote that only 3 people were killed. Something like 80 million trees were flattened though. It was years before they figured out what happened. Fascinating!
Reply
Linda U

December 5, 2021

I think it is similar to the lure of mystery novels…. How did this horrible disaster happen? Looking into all of the what if’s and theories….then coming to a satisfying conclusion “ from then on, safety rails have been reinforced on the bridge”…” it finally came out that the area had been identified as unsafe fir building, but the crooked mayor refused to stop the project”.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2021
  
  That sounds about right! Thanks for reading, Linda! Xo
Reply
mavis

December 5, 2021

Ha! You obviously need another hobby. Not something That occupies my time – I almost didn’t read this blog LOL! Just say “no”. Can’t be good for you. Find another way to express your ‘wild’ side!!! Thanks for posting. Yoh still tock.
- Reply
  mavis
  
  December 5, 2021
  
  Oops! I meant to say – you still rock!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2021
  
  I have hobbies! This one is a little odd, I’ll grant you…
Reply
Laura

December 5, 2021

Think I’ll skip this one. I do, however, watch all things psychopath, how to identify etc. why? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 5, 2021
  
  I guess we all have our proclivities!? lol!
Reply
Serge Filiatreault

November 23, 2021

Hi Vivian, I agree 100% with your view on auditions. A sub who’s been doing a fantastic job for years, ans with whom you get along should be given at least a chance for a tenure. The last round should also be without curtains, especially when you’re down to two or three candidates. At my audition (in N.Y.) for the Natal Philharmonic Orchestra of Durban, South Africa, it was done without curtains. Since it was a brand new orchestra, all positions had to be filled. Therefore , at my alloted time, I was surrounded with other musicians of different instruments and no other trombones in sight. That, helped me to relax. there was only the Music director, the general manager and the head of the Performing Arts Council. After I played they asked me questions and I believe that my answers might have aided in cementing their choice of candidate. So, not just my playing , but my attitude, character and personality were taken into account for a perfect fit with this barnd new orchestra. it still amazes me, after all these years, how Pierre won his and got his just reward. Also quite amazing was to have an all canadian section for so long with Pete, you and Pierre.
Take care!
Serge
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 24, 2021
  
  Thanks for sharing your story, Serge! It sounds almost idyllic. I’m afraid that in general, that sort of audition has gone forever, but I get why it would be nice in an ideal world to hire somebody based on a wide variety of factors, not just, can they play the notes.
Reply
Dave Martin

November 12, 2021

Absolutely right; let them glow and encourage others to do the same!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 22, 2021
  
  Thanks, Hon!! xo
Reply
Sophie Dugas

November 8, 2021

Sorry about the second root canal and ensuing pain – yikes.
The nordic sweater has flair – it’s a very fitting colour for Buster’s complexion, and it perfectly matches his collar. Do you have a collection of different coloured collars? (Didn’t mean to alliterate) If so, you have reasons to build his wardrobe while totally mastering the size ratio. I’m looking forward to the photo gallery.

As for the size issue – I have no knitting skills, but I do have a well exercised ability to dismiss any stress from having purchased something that turned out being unsuitable once at home (unless it was really expensive). There’s always someone around who can use it. A chihuahua somewhere in Montreal may soon get a chance to wear a lovely nordic red sweater.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 8, 2021
  
  Ah, so it’s a transferable skill! Yes, it sounds familiar…how many shoes have I bought that I convinced myself would « stretch a bit »??
Reply
Nancy

November 8, 2021

The sweater is beautiful. I knit simpler things so far, but for some reason have conquered socks… however my new pup needs a sweater not socks, so I will have to check this one out 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 8, 2021
  
  I used to love knitting socks, but I find them a bit long and boring now. I recently bought a knitting machine and I’m hoping to figure out how to knit them on that! Then, try to stop me! I’ll be making socks for Dave and Travis, who both have size 13 feet and have a lot of trouble finding socks that fit. 🙂 This dog sweater pattern is great, but you have to check frequently for the fit. Even when you plug in all the numbers, you might still have to be careful about where to do the sleeves, as I tried and failed to do properly! Enjoy!
Reply
Marcelo Bercovici

November 7, 2021

Your dentist must be a sweetie 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 8, 2021
  
  He is!! Thanks for reading, Marcelo!
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

October 30, 2021

Hahaha thanks for the shout! I love the idea on what to do with your extra dough, I usually just throw it out!! Can you imagine? What a waste!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 30, 2021
  
  Maybe it’s not the shoutout you wanted, i.e., your insomnia being way worse than mine!! Haha! However, I really hope you get a few readers from it, because your blog is awesome! Yes, no more wasting good dough! Erica and Travis always loved the pastry bits around Thanksgiving and Christmas!
Reply
Andrew Clayden

October 26, 2021

Sorry to hear about your insomnia, Viv. Yep, this resonates with me although my difficulties sleeping are tiny by comparison.

One trick that Susan suggested to me, and which often works, is to do an alphabet list….sort of like counting sheep. I will choose a geographic location, say, BC, and I will try and name a place with each of the letters of the alphabet. It seems counter-intuitive to be giving your mind a task when you want it to STOP THINKING AND JUST LET ME GO TO SLEEP’ DAMMIT, however oddly enough it often works for me.

Just last night I woke in the night and did a cars list….I think I got to J or K…and fell asleep. WIN!

It doesn’t always work but you can always choose another list to make. I think what happens is that it stops the mind from just flailing through a gazillion thoughts all at once. You have to focus in order to think of the next word. Maybe when you are focussed is when the body can take over and say “enough, now fall asleep!”

Sometimes it does not work so I get up and go read in a chair. I try to choose something boring, not an interesting novel. I have a subscription to the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives – their magazine has plenty of boring articles, lol!

Also, I have learned to relax about being awake, instead of being pissed off. I accept that I am awake, that I might be tired tomorrow, that even though it is not ideal, there are a lot of reasons to be thankful.

Our son had sleep issues awhile ago and we had conversations with the doctor about this – yeah, you are right, drugs(and alcohol) are not a good solution, especially as they mess with the different stages of sleep. You often get a full night’s sleep, but you have not had a proper progression down and back to stage 4(several times) and in the end you don’t really feel rested. I have eliminated nearly all alcohol from my diet lately and I admit that this has helped with sleep and other issues……..and is something I could have done 25-30 years ago. Of course I was too busy partying to think of that,LOL!

I hope you can find some relief ……. and that you can go easy on yourself if you do find yourself awake in the wee hours.

Say “hi” to that handsome man of yours. I still owe hime a phone call!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 30, 2021
  
  Hi, Andrew! Thanks for your perspective. It’s been awhile since I tried something like counting sheep (or variations thereon), so maybe I should give your version a try. You’re absolutely right that it works by eliminating the treadmill your mind goes on. I get a similar affect by listening to “sleep stories”, which distract me from my mind’s activity. I almost never get upset during my bouts of insomnia anymore, I’m pretty philosophical about it, but the next day I can feel pretty sorry for myself! Just ask Dave!
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

October 26, 2021

Very relatable glarggh. 2 or 3 times a year il have a stint where I don’t asleep a wink 6 nights in a row, at which point I’m so unable to function that I take a heavy prescription sleeping pill. Side note, high five to posting more often 😉 Maybe every time you can’t sleep, just write a blog post!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 30, 2021
  
  Thanks for the high five! The problem is that I’m brain dead in the middle of the night, so writing would be a waste of time, I think. It seems like something some people might do, though. BTW, I wouldn’t wait until the sixth night to take that pill, but that’s just me!! I’m afraid to mention it, because I’m afraid to jinx it, but I wonder whether that CBD pill is actually doing something. I’ve had, dare I say, six reasonable nights in a row! Fingers are firmly crossed!
Reply
Mary

October 9, 2021

Thanks Viv. Wonderful thoughts for us all to reflect upon.
Reply
David Martin

October 9, 2021

Wow, what a great article. Well done, Vivian!
Reply
Mavis C.

September 24, 2021

Viv. Like any great milestone change in life, ones needs a period of adjustment so it’s normal to feel a little out of sorts. It took me over a year to decide to retire and as you, I was very trepidatious about it. I can tell you now, that 5 years ago when I was 60, I wondered whether it was too young to retire. What finally did it for me was I decided I didn’t want to die at my desk even though I too, loved my job. Looking back over the past few years, and the big upheavals (moving back from Trinidad, prepping our house in the GTA to sell, selling the house, moving to Ottawa, renovating the house in Ottawa), I can say that it was not the “last leg of the journey”. It is a new beginning. You will LOVE retirement, I know it. You have your whole life ahead of you and now you get to do what you want to do. I can tell you from experience that it is very liberating. And those leisurely mornings are to die for. Enjoy it. You will ace it like you have your musical career. Bet on it.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 24, 2021
  
  Hi, Mavis! Thanks for reading! Your perspective is much appreciated since you’re a few years ahead of me. I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy it. So far so good, anyway!
Reply
mysteriosum

September 20, 2021

Nice post – and who is that absolutely adorable poodle in the first photo?! <3
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 24, 2021
  
  Thanks, Travis! Xoxo
Reply
David Martin

September 18, 2021

Lovely post, Vivian! I am a friend of the above dog and can attest to your accomplishments!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 18, 2021
  
  Thanks, darling! Xo
Reply
Nancy

September 5, 2021

Yes The chills before the hot flash… found out it was real 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 18, 2021
  
  Sooo real! I’m over the worst of the menopausal symptoms but temperature control is still an issue!
Reply
Lucie

August 25, 2021

Sorry about the typos ! I should read before clicking send. 😂😂😂
Reply
Lucie

August 25, 2021

Ii am so very glad Dave is recuperationg quicky. I am certain Buster is an excellent decision and congratulations on being grandparents to Iggy.

Take care
xxx
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 31, 2021
  
  Thanks, Lucie! And thanks for reading my blog. 🙂
Reply
Andrew Clayden

August 6, 2021

Good for you! Camping saved us during our years in Quebec…..but only once the kids were out of diapers and dirt-eating mode! We had a Westfalia for 10 years and that was GREAT! (but expensive to keep running). Our go-to place was the Mauricie Federal park north of Trois Rivières…..but we camped in a lot of places.

Sue had an accident that damaged her neck in her 20’s so having a “proper” bed was important….ie no tenting after that! SInce coming out west we did buy and modify an older Chevy van to camp in but mechanically we did not trust it enough to go far off of the beaten track. With the price of camper vans today (crazy expensive), somebody pointed out to me that for the same price you could stay in A LOT of hotels/motels/cabins, etc……..however that’s not quite like waking up outdoors in the trees. Hmmm.

Enjoy the outdoors however you can. It heals!

A.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 13, 2021
  
  Hi, Andrew! So nice to hear from you! Something like that Westfalia sounds like the way to go in my opinion. Also, hotels are nice…but as you say, where are the trees??
Reply
Sonia Lussier

July 28, 2021

Hello Vivian, What a touching text. Thank you for sharing. We can feel the attachment and the love you have for each other, which makes things possible to go through. I am sending you my thoughts as I know it is hard to care for and care for ourself at the same time. As for my personal journey, the guilt of being sick has certainly been one the hardest emotion to live with. I am so grateful for having Peter and appreciate his presence everyday. Take care. Sonia
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2021
  
  Hi, Sonia, Thanks for your comment and for reading my post. I’m sorry you had to go through some tough challenges, but Peter’s the guy you want by your side! Glad you’re better now. Take care!
Reply
Ann McLaughlin

July 27, 2021

Dear Viv, I’m so sorry to hear about Dave’s stroke. He is so lucky to have you to take such great care of him. Please let me know if I can be of any help. I can walk the dog, read stories,etc…be well Viv and Dave and take care!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2021
  
  So kind of you to offer! Dave’s doing well, so we don’t need too much help. He’s even back in the kitchen, though some of his food combinations are, let’s say, original! 🙂
Reply
Clifford Trott

July 27, 2021

Thanks for the poignant post. I didn’t know that this happened. I’m so glad that you went to the hospital and that Dave is on the road to recovery. Sending love your way and to Dave, a really great guy.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2021
  
  Thanks, Cliff!
Reply
Andrew Clayden

July 26, 2021

Wow, thanks for bringing us up to date Viv! That’s quite the curveball you’ve been dealt, right on the cusp of retirement.

We’ll be sending positive, healing vibes your way and of course we will all be hoping for the best for Dave.

Please say “hi” to him from us on the wet(not at all) coast, and we look forward to seeing you guys at some point in the not-too-distant future.

Andrew and Susan
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2021
  
  Thanks Andrew and Susan, so nice to hear from you. Yes, but it could have been so much worse. I hope to see him right back to his usual self. 🙂
Reply
Nancy

July 26, 2021

I have always had tremendous admiration for the two of you, individually and together. I hope that you get to look back on this as a blip in a long long life, and continue to make each other laugh, the best medicine of all.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 29, 2021
  
  Hi, Nancy, thanks so much! I hope it will stay blip-sized!
Reply
Peter Christensen

July 26, 2021

Hi Vivian, Thanks so much for sharing this. My grandfather always used to say, “if you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.” But when Sonia had her health problems years ago, we both realized that he was wrong. Good health is irrelevant if you don’t have love in your life; and on the flip side, love will help you through the worst health problems. So I’m so glad you two have each other and are helping each other through the challenges. Sending you both the biggest of hugs and best wishes for a full recovery.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 26, 2021
  
  Thank you, Peter. Wise words! It has certainly made me realize how important he is to me, if I didn’t know before! I’m glad Sonia is better and she had you to count on. Take care!
Reply
Kaz

July 26, 2021

So happy that you have had support with all of these serious changes in yours and Dave’s lives. I am happy to hear that there is progress and it sounds like all the right things are being done therapy wise. Big hugs to all of you. 🙏🏼 Take good care Vivian and Dave ❤️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 26, 2021
  
  Thank you Kaz! It’s been a crazy time, but Dave’s on the right track and I’m sure he’ll improve steadily. He’s already so much better!
Reply
Heather Wootton

July 26, 2021

I had no idea you were all dealing with this! What a scary thing to go through. I’m so glad to hear Dave’s doing better. Sending you both my love and a “special” hug for Dave and one for you as well. Keep us posted !
Love and Hugs
Heather
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 26, 2021
  
  Thank you for your kind words and wishes, Heather! xo
Reply
Lucie

July 26, 2021

I am so glad David is doing better and I hope he makes a full recovery. Life sure can throw a curve ball but you are doing a great job catching it ! Big hug. xxx
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 26, 2021
  
  Thank you Lucie! xoxo
Reply
Victoria

July 26, 2021

What a lovely and touching post. Finely crafted. I am now imagining you windsurfing the slave chorus from Nabucco much to Dave’s chagrin.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 26, 2021
  
  Thanks, Victoria! Haha, I’ll read that to Dave, see what he says! xo
Reply
Ann McLaughlin

July 20, 2021

What an exciting time for you Viv! Congratulations on the retirement, becoming a grandmother, becoming a mother (to your Boston Terror,LOL). Now I need to hear what you’ve been reading, always interesting! Be well, Ann
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 20, 2021
  
  HI, Ann! Thank you! Yes, a lot going on. I’m leading A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki for my book club. Great book! Just finished Olive Again and Olive Ketteridge. Also wonderful!
Reply
Nancy

July 20, 2021

Congratulations! I am not surprised at all the wonderful comments on FB, well deserved. 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 20, 2021
  
  Thank you Nancy! I hope you’re doing well!
Reply
Lucie

July 20, 2021

Very wise decision Vivian and I am so glad for you. Congratulations on your first grandchild. You will now have plenty of time to enjoy the little one. Hope David is okay now.

Xxxxx
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 20, 2021
  
  Thank you Lucie! It’s all very exciting. Dave is doing pretty well, thanks.
Reply
David R Martin

April 10, 2021

What a lovely, upbeat post!
Reply
Sandra

March 24, 2021

You are brave❣️But very equal to the challenge. And besides Buster’s cuteness must be very motivating.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 10, 2021
  
  Thanks, Sandra! I need the encouragement, but yes, his cuteness helps!
Reply
Laura

March 23, 2021

So adorbs!!! 🥰🥰🥰
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 10, 2021
  
  I know right??
Reply
Lucie

March 23, 2021

He is sooo adorable, you will not regret this. He will bring you joy and so much to have around. You made the right decision. 💕💕
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 10, 2021
  
  Thanks, Lucie! Coming from another animal-lover that means a lot! 🙂
Reply
Nancy

March 19, 2021

You hit so many points in this blog that resonate with me: I try to wear some ‘me-made’ clothing every day (term from the sewing blogs) as making things kept me sane through this year of CoVid. I always have a knitting project on the go, mostly socks because you can take them anywhere, which I also wear everyday. Congrats on your vest and sweater (so far they are beyond me ) and last but not least, we named our previous shih tzu Chin Li Lotus Blossom Dearie 🙂 Fun post!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 19, 2021
  
  So cool! That name is a mouthful!! What was the short version? Thanks for reading! I was just thinking I need to get back to sock making, so convenient for carrying around. Take care, Nancy!
  - Reply
    Nancy
    
    March 19, 2021
    
    We aimed for Chin Li, but it went to Chinny, not nearly as pretty as the full name 🙂
Reply
Andrew Clayden

February 16, 2021

So……..what’s for dinner,LOL! This year, for maybe the first time in forever, Susan did not get around to finding or doing anything cool for Valentines Day. She told me this at bed time on the 13th. I kissed her and said “no problem, it’s not a big deal.” Of course it is usually ME who forgets, or leaves it too late….or whatever. The next morning she got up and there was a HUGE bag of Valentine goodies and treats on the table and cards for her and Maisie (our daughter, the tangible evidence of our feelings for each other). I had actually managed to sneak out and get all of this stuff at least 3 days ahead of time…..how rare! I think the best is when there are no expectations, which means that when one member of the couple surprises the other, the surprise is part of the gift. That said, it doesn’t really let me off the hook for those times I forgot!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 16, 2021
  
  It was a great meal including pasta with shrimp and veggies. See my FB page for a pic of the dinner prep! It sounds like you nailed Valentine’s Day, Andrew! It’s really fun to be the one to surprise the other. I’m the one who tends to leave it to the last minute, much more than Dave, despite his ambivalence about the importance of the day. Thanks for checking in!
Reply
David Martin

February 14, 2021

I DO sound a bit churlish in this re-imagined dialogue, but I am often very churlish, so, no problem.
Thanks for this thoughtful post, my dearest. xox
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 16, 2021
  
  Not at all churlish! I’m still waiting for your version of it, haha! Love you and thanks for a delicious meal!!
Reply
Victoria

February 14, 2021

Lovely post, Vivian. Now, if I could just get my cat to understand my dinner needs for a change 🤣
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 14, 2021
  
  Cats are notorious for their once-a-year attentions! Xo
Reply
Lynn Giesbrecht

February 14, 2021

Such an awesome post!!! And great book too. We read it years ago, but good reminder on the love languages. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day you two!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 14, 2021
  
  Thanks, Lynn! I actually haven’t read it but just doing the quiz was an eye-opener!
Reply
Laura

February 14, 2021

Happy Valentine’s Day you pair of lovebirds! Any of those meals would make me feel loved! 🥰🥰🥰
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 14, 2021
  
  You are loved, Laura! Miss you! Xoxo
- Reply
  David Martin
  
  February 16, 2021
  
  Laura, I cannot WAIT until we can have dinner together again. xo
Reply
Renee

January 30, 2021

LOL at the “one bottle of worcestshire for your whole life.” Maybe marinate more beef in it.

Re the sweating: If this video is as old as I think it is, they used to wear 2 and 3 piece suits even in summer, probably, soooo. But also, it makes it look like he’s suffering even more.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 30, 2021
  
  So true! My husband tells me that Brel was an actor before he was a singer, which might explain a lot! Thanks for reading!
Reply
David Martin

January 26, 2021

Have fun expanding into all sorts of possibilities as you move forward/
Reply
noralee2014

January 12, 2021

That sweater vest looks kind of swish! Nice job modelling.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 12, 2021
  
  Thanks, Nora!
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

January 12, 2021

Yess werk itt!! I love the funky vest on you, and I love that Dave agrees haha! There’s seriously nothing better than wearing something someone dear made for you 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 12, 2021
  
  Thanks, Lauren! I believe that vest will actually get some wear!
Reply
David Martin

January 12, 2021

What a beautiful, comforting and stylish post!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 12, 2021
  
  Thanks, my dear!
Reply
David Martin

January 8, 2021

The people want more exclamation marks!!! Seriously, the page looks great, and I congratulate you on all this productivity! !!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 8, 2021
  
  Thanks, Dave! It probably doesn’t look much different but those categories are going to change everything, haha!
Reply
Lucie

January 2, 2021

Happy New Year Vivian and may you acheive SOME of your goals in 2021. Cut yourself some slack! My philosophy in life now is “good enough” ! xxxx
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 2, 2021
  
  Thanks, Lucie! I might sound obsessed with goals, but for most of last year I lost track of my 20 for 2020 list! I found it under a pile of yarn at some point, haha! It certainly seemed absurd to worry about them for most of the year. I haven’t actually made up my new list, but I do find it a useful exercise. We’ll see!
Reply
Ann McLaughlin

January 1, 2021

Hi Viv and Happy Bew Year! I also want to create lists but usually fail to realize them. If I can make a suggestion about James Joyce, maybe read The Dubliners, which is a collection of short stories.. You might be able to accomplish that goal one story at a time. Good luck!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 2, 2021
  
  Thanks for checking in, Ann! The Dubliners sounds like a good place to start with Joyce. Thanks for that suggestion. 🙂
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

December 31, 2020

You make a great case for making a long list of resolutions haha!! I am partial to the “no more high fives” style though 😉
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 31, 2020
  
  I see the charm of that kind of resolution! One can always add it to the list!
Reply
Laura

December 25, 2020

I’m completely in agreement with you Viv! I love decorating with plenty of colour and giving gifts. I mostly give people food – tourtière, cranberry sauce, fruitcake. I think it’s a perfect opportunity to show appreciation of family and friends. This is most definitely weird Christmas, hope to never see this one again!!
Right now I’m enjoying Handel’s Messiah on CBC, very religious and I’m not, but I still love the music.
Love to you guys, see you in Mexico next year!!!! 💃💃💃
Reply
Sandra

December 25, 2020

Oooh how much do I like that ornament of Monty with his little wigwag tail coming out? ToooooMuch❣️❣️
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 25, 2020
  
  Thanks, Sandra! I just knitted it recently in his honour!
Reply
Sandra

December 10, 2020

Dearest Viv, I’ve never had the privilege of a pet family member, especially when it’s your best friend and gives you undying love and unconditional support. But seeing you together, I think you were the best mother and companion Monty could ever have. ❤️Sandra
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 23, 2020
  
  Thank you for this, Sandra! I know you’re not a dog person, so I appreciate your empathy very much!
Reply
Theresa MacDonald

December 9, 2020

Oh Viv – I am so sorry. I too have been through this heartbreaking decision – there is a moment when you just know it is the right thing and a mercy but such a terrible burden to bear. Pets are with us for such a brief time it seems but what a joy they are. I’ve always smiled at the many snaps you have shared of Monty. What a character!
Many years ago I was fortunate to have a compassionate vet who came to my house. On his favourite couch, on my porch on a beautiful sunny day, my cat Kato left this world. I was devastated but I felt my grief honoured him – that it was the least I could do – to occupy and feel that loss. I think of our pain and grief as a tribute and a respect to how much they bring to our lives.
Thinking of you my friend xo
Theresa
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 23, 2020
  
  Thank you for your lovely words, Theresa. They mean a lot to me. I wish I could have had a vet come to the house, too, but in these times I was lucky to get a vet who would let me go into the clinic with him. It was as painless as it could have been, I think. Monty was oblivious, so that’s a great consolation.
Reply
mclow98

December 7, 2020

Hi Vivian,
Reading this entry brought me to tears remembering the last little angel, Cameo, that I held in my arms as she crossed over the rainbow bridge 10 years ago. I still have the urn with her ashes on my dresser. It was a sad day. My thoughts are with you this week as you go through this strange period of waiting to say your last good byes to Monty.
With love, Catherine
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 7, 2020
  
  Thank you, Catherine. It is so very heart-breaking. I still had Abe’s ashes in an urn on our piano until about two months ago, when I finally buried them in the garden. Knowing I would have to deal with Monty’s, I guess I finally had the courage to let go of Abe to that extent. I’m glad I did it, now maybe I won’t have to wait 12 years to bury Monty, poor little thing.
Reply
Adrienne Jones

December 6, 2020

Vivian, I am so, so sorry to hear this. I know how difficult these moments are. I remember feeling under scrutiny when I took one of my dogs in at the end of her life. I sobbed in front of everyone in the vet’s waiting room. Doing the right thing by Monty doesn’t mean it’s not terribly painful for you. He’s been a good boy. Sending you and D
ave lots of love.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 23, 2020
  
  Thank you so much, Adrienne! He was a good boy and I miss him very much. xo
Reply
Larry Larson

December 6, 2020

Oh, Viv! I am so very sorry to read that Monty’s next journey is about to begin. You so beautifully summed up what it is to be a lifelong companion to our furry little friends. “Just a dog,” “just a cat” – we both know better than that. Having made a similar decision in September with our 18-yr. old cat Sammy, we so very much feel your pain. I have one bit of advice for you: allow yourself to cry your eyes out at the vet’s office! We were so very fortunate to have had our vet allow us in the room – a vet who had provided all 18 years of care for Sammy. I sobbed uncontrollably, and it felt just right. Sammy deserved that open expression of grief and loss, and Monty does as well. Our thoughts will be with you and Dave as you approach that very difficult day. We love you guys! XO
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2020
  
  Aw, Larry, thanks so much. I know Sammy was your special guy. Believe me, I won’t be able to stop myself from crying, so no worries there. I’m sure this vet will make it easy comfortable as she possibly can, she’s a very empathetic person. I’m glad you had a bit of catharsis yourself. Take care, my friend. xoxo
Reply
Lucie

December 6, 2020

I know exactly what you mean. To have to decide when you must have your best friend put down is one of the hardest decision you have to make. It makes it that much harder to live without them after. My heart goes out to you. Big hug. xxxxx.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2020
  
  Hi, Lucie, I know you have cats so you know what I’m talking about. It’s the hardest thing, and makes me wonder whether I’m just a glutton for punishment that I’ll probably get another dog down the road. I guess the thing is that you can’t have the joy without the pain. Thanks for reading. xo
Reply
heatherwootton

December 5, 2020

Oh Viv, I know where you are. I first had to go through this with my dog, Jessye, whom I had raised since she was 5 weeks old. She had bone cancer and I knew it was the right thing, but it still broke my heart into a million pieces. With all of our animals that we said goodbye to, my husband’s beloved dog Casper and my soul mate cate Sam at 21, we had a mobile vet come to the house. I highly recommend it, but perhaps we were very lucky. We were in our own space, it was gentle, quiet, peaceful, respectful and in some way a memory to cherish. Whatever you decide, my heart goes out to you. Holding you close.
love Heather
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2020
  
  Hi, Heather, thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. That sounds really awful about Jessye, but also, you made it as easy for her (and you all) as possible, so that’s some comfort. Because of Covid, I don’t think my vet is offering the at-home service, but she normally does. I’m just glad she’ll let me come in and be with Monty at the end. The vet I usually go to won’t even let me do that, so I switched to this new one a couple of months ago, knowing Monty didn’t have much time.
Reply
LindaUmbrico

December 5, 2020

Oh Vivian, such a hard decision. I am so sorry you are loosing your beloved Monty. Sending you love.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 6, 2020
  
  Thank you so much, Linda! I appreciate your kind words. xoxo
Reply
Shelley Trueman

November 30, 2020

I really miss live concerts, speaking from a listening point of view. Recorded and online accessible music is nice (lots of variety), but the live thrill is just not there. Keeping fingers crossed for performers everywhere, we so need them.
Reply
Mary

November 29, 2020

Hi Vivian,
For me, Larry can’t turn off the tv until I’m asleep! I sleep well unless I’m stressed about something. I have found audio books are good in that they keep my mind focused. If I wake up and can’t fall back to sleep, I do my Scrabble moves, again keeps my mind from winding up.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 29, 2020
  
  Hi, Mary, I agree, things like audio books and “sleep stories” have helped me sometimes by not letting my mind race, or sometimes by getting rid of the ear worm that won’t stop! I was doing my Scrabble moves in the night, but now I’m trying not to have my screens by me to see if it helps. We’ll see..!! Thanks for reading!
Reply
Shelley Trueman

November 24, 2020

Ditto for me. I’m trying to do likewise, or at least organize my day with my night (of hopefully sleep) in mind. Lately, I’ve been realizing what role guilt has been playing in mental health, so I try not to beat myself up for not having ‘proper’ behaviour, including getting to sleep. But will keep trying to clean up my act.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 24, 2020
  
  Hi, Shelley! Beating ourselves up is not helpful, that’s for sure! Me, too, keeping on trying…
Reply
Shelley Trueman

November 24, 2020

Good post. With the movement to not keep changing the time twice a year, there are many who advocate for standard time year round rather than daylight savings time for the reasons you observe (better to have more light later in the day). Your suggestions to keep us less depressed during this time are all great. Last night, we watched a Waterloo Festival of Festivals production (instead of more Netflix) and one of the performances was the Covid 19 Trombone Choir playing Scarborough Fair (nice to see you there). We’ve also just subscribed to Medici.tv to keep Netflix watching down.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 24, 2020
  
  OH, yeah, I forgot about that trombone choir thing we did! That seems so long ago now. SO much Covid under the bridge since then! It’s nice to change things up, I just have to remind myself to do it, or I just watch Netflix or knitting videos every night!
Reply
Lucie

November 23, 2020

I have two types of insomnia. If I fall asleep within 30 minutes, I am awake at 3:30 and usually can’t get back to sleep. If it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep, I am good till 7:00. I prefer the latter. Sometimes it’s one, sometimes the other. Listening to audio books does relax me and helps sometimes. I don’t drink at all, be it coffee or alcohol, I hardly eat at supper, I go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. (What a boring life, right ?) My room is dark and I sleep with ear plugs. Still, I have insomnia most nights. So don’t feel guilty Vivian. I think it’s like anything else, some people can sleep like logs, on command (my son) and others have insomnia.
Reply
Laura

November 23, 2020

I’m an on and off insomniac. What has worked really well for me is listening to audiobooks; Malala put me out like a light within 15 minutes. I think it had do do with the accented narrator, I dunno! I had to go back many chapters many times and, no, never finished the darned thing.
Reply
Corena Purcell

November 19, 2020

Thanks for this Viv! I feel you on the loss of light and warmth. Made myself get outside yesterday and it completely changed my mood. Even if it involved getting both me and Abby into long johns!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 19, 2020
  
  Yup, getting out for air and exercise is the best!
Reply
Nicole F

November 19, 2020

You have inspired me to try the 12 hours no phone and reading a book! I’ve got a few books I’ve been meaning to read. 🙂 it’s true, this time is much more depressing than the first wave. I feel like in the first wave it felt like there would be an end to all this, and now it just feels like permanent life. Changing things up is a great idea!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 19, 2020
  
  Yes, it’s rough but there will be an end to it! Thanks for checking in! Xo
Reply
David Martin

November 18, 2020

Thanks for being helpful, hon. xoxox
Reply
David Martin

November 6, 2020

Great slice-of-life, Vivian! Love it. It was called “The Barfly”, and on one of those nights, Vic Vogel said to me: “You gotta love what you do… why else would we be in this shit-hole?” RIP Vic.
Reply
Adrienne Jones

August 19, 2020

Such a great post Viv. Any time I struggle with sleep, I think of you and how honest you’ve always been about your sleep challenges. I barely knew you when we first discussed the topic, and you were totally open, insightful and realistic. Not many people would give of themselves like that. ox
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 19, 2020
  
  Thanks Adrienne, and I’d like to think that discussing these topics openly will end up helping someone along the way, if only to not feel alone.
Reply
Lucie

August 17, 2020

I understand your sleep problems so well. Never could sleep properly, even as a child. I also had vivid nightmares ans sleepwalked and even as an adult, I still do when I am under a lot of stress. I envy people who can sleep through anything and at the drop of a hat. 😂😂😂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 18, 2020
  
  Thanks, Lucie! It’s good to know I’m not alone but I’m sorry you’re in the same boat!
Reply
Sandra Hunt

July 16, 2020

Yeah, I’ve been trying to learn how to be anti racist. Our church has made some reading recommendations:

1. Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor Kindle Edition by Layla F. Saad (Kindle)

2. Check Your Privilege: Live into the Work Paperback – March 2, 2020 by Myisha T Hill (Contributor), Brandy Varnado (Contributor),

3. Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do Hardcover – March 26, 2019

Also CBC has great podcasts like the Secret Life of Canada.

We’ve been listening to The New Yorker podcasts of writers and poets reading and discussing stories and poems that were published in the magazine. It’s more uplifting than listening to the daily news analyses.
We also do our yoga then.🥴
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 19, 2020
  
  Thanks for reading, Sandra! I’ll take note of those books. I’m a little overwhelmed with the choices of reading and watching material that abound. I’ll try to pick something soon, instead of being paralyzed by l’embarras du choix!
Reply
noralee2014

July 13, 2020

I just read this. https://www.cbc.ca/arts/gay-culture-has-grown-toxic-with-unchecked-privilege-it-s-time-for-us-to-reset-1.5639251 Interesting all the twists and turns of privilege!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 14, 2020
  
  Very good article, thanks for sharing!
Reply
noralee2014

July 13, 2020

I have also been wanting to write something in response to the recent flourishing of black lives matter dialogue. It is good of you to get this down. You are very much not alone in feeling pretty remiss in not getting what has been going on for black people — and we can extend that to Indigenous people and other people of colour, most likely. We didn’t get it because we have not “needed” to know. That is what white privilege has caused. We got nervous about passing a black man on the street because of our conditioning. I would like to write out more of what I have been thinking but I need to spend some time on it. I will just say that I have actually been feeling quite relieved and much more at ease about encountering black people and talking to the ones I know because of what I have been hearing many of them say in interviews on the developments. It has helped me understand my discomfort and realize that it is needless, in one respect. I now know that I don’t have to feel, when interacting with a black person, that I have to pretend I didn’t notice they were black.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 14, 2020
  
  Hi, Nora, thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts. Thanks for mentioning the Indigenous community, because that’s another group of people that we in Canada have certainly let down. Also, I have the same feeling that now that I’m not quite so ignorant about the POV of at least certain members of the black community I feel more comfortable when I meet them. I think that’s progress. Though, again, there’s a certain shame in admitting that I ever felt that awkwardness you mention.
Reply
Lucie

May 23, 2020

I really enjoy the Monty chronicles.xxx
Reply
Lucie

May 23, 2020

I enjoyed it very much. Dear Monty. xxx
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 24, 2020
  
  Thank you, Lucie!! I have more, soon!
Reply
David Martin

May 9, 2020

It’s a strange time in our lives with the little guy. A time for you to be a hands-on Mother again. Happy Mother’s day BTW xox
Reply
Lucie

May 4, 2020

I am feeling a lot like you also. It is like being on a rollercoaster. Some days are fine and some days are more difficult. I feel anxious and I miss being with people. I miss being with my grandkids . On the bad days, I remember that if yesterday was good, well this won’t last and tomorrow will be better. I keep busy, it helps and I take long walks every day.

It will end one day but in the meantime, one day at the time.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 6, 2020
  
  That sounds very similar to how it’s going with me. Hang in there! It’ll be great to get together again at Espace Tricot!
Reply
Nora Lee

April 17, 2020

Hi, Vivian, i must say, this has been my world for a very long time. Fortunately, I am responding better to my thoughts and recently had the thought that I would forgive myself for everything. You know, all those bad feelings that you get frequently, in my case anyway, come from self-criticism and frustration over roadblocks that seem insurmountable and then self-criticism over finding those things insurmountable. Self-forgiveness is appropriate and helpful, I find. Also, try taking an Advil at least some times for your back. It can really help when you are tired of trying to find relief in other ways.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 18, 2020
  
  Hi, Nora, thanks for checking in and for your comment. You’re right, I’m sure there’s an element of self-criticism in my mood swings, and a little bit of self-forgiveness goes a long way.
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

April 13, 2020

I hear ya Viv, my only solace in the daily yo-yo is knowing that every single person on the planet is feeling the same thing :S I love your poem 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 14, 2020
  
  Hi, Lauren, thanks for checking out my post! I agree, misery loves company and it helps to know we’re not alone in how this solitude is affecting us. Keep on keeping on. This too, will pass! Xo
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

March 27, 2020

Beautiful, Viv! It’s so true, no worse feeling than ignoring a creative impulse!
Reply
Mary

March 26, 2020

Thanks Viv,

You and I are very similar! My creativity is certainly not leaning towards composing either. I designed a crochet pillow and time consuming cooking projects are inspiring. However, gardening season will be upon us soon. Hang in there and keep writing.

Mar
Reply
Lauren DeRoller

March 22, 2020

You articulated this so well… we are very lucky indeed if we and our friends/family have good health… I can’t imagine what it’d be like to lose someone during this time
🙁
Reply
LUcie

March 22, 2020

You write so well. Yes, we will get through this eventually, wether it’s weeks or months from now. I must admit that the announcement that school is delayed until May 1st hit me hard. I have grandchildren and I worry about how the parents will cope with this. I worry that their school year will be compromised. I worry about people not respecting self confinement or social distancing, therefore putting everyone at risk. However, I know that in the end it will be all right and things will get back to normal. The solidarity of the knitting community is truly heart warming. Hang in there and draw a rainbow in your window.
Reply
Lucie

March 19, 2020

Thank you Vivian for inspiring me to make a list of chores I have been meaning to do but did not really want to do. I crossed one a day since and feel very virtuous for doing so 😇😇😇.

Of course, knitting isn’t a chore or watching series but after a while, I also became a “guilty knitter” too feeling I could do more useful things now I had the time. So thank you and stay safe.
Reply
Maureen

March 19, 2020

Viv, thanks for your reflections on these “new” days we’re living. Your success in dealing with some of the Tranquil Garden’s tech issues is an inspiration to us all to tackle something that needs doing in the days and weeks ahead. Looking forward to the next installment from the Lee-Martin Quartet! (Quaran-tet?)
- Reply
  Erica
  
  March 19, 2020
  
  Quarantet lol 👏👏👏
Reply
Lucie

February 27, 2020

I have enjoyed your blog, I have no doubt that you will dive head first into another creative project. if you decide to continue, I will happily continue to read your ramblings. I did not think it was this costly to have a blog.
Reply
Victoria

February 27, 2020

I have indeed enjoyed your ramblings, Vivian, and I know that if you move on to something else, you will pour your warmth and creativity into the new venture. Onwards and upward!
Reply
Judith McCrea

February 16, 2020

Vivian, you are fantastic.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 16, 2020
  
  Why, thanks, Judith! Thanks for reading! 🙂
Reply
Larry Larson

February 15, 2020

I love this post! Way to go, Viv! Higher, faster, louder, OLDER!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 16, 2020
  
  Thanks, Larry!
Reply
Stéphanie Dionne

February 11, 2020

That was a nice read 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 12, 2020
  
  Merci, Stéphanie!
Reply
Kevin Lee

February 11, 2020

First of all, I love you. But then I am your brother so I guess I have no choice 😉 Also, I do love this post.

Accepting aging as a part of life is so liberating. And it makes it so much easier to just enjoy life completely. My only comment is about taking care of your health. Diana and I are working on our weight. Not to look good… or better, because we already look good and don’t really care if we end up looking better. We are working on our health. That matters. It matters mostly because we are enjoying life and so if we can be healthier then we can get to enjoy more of it.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 12, 2020
  
  Hi, Care Bear! Glad to hear you’re working on your health! As you say, that’s the most important part, since if we live a long time it would be nice to be as healthy as possible!
Reply
Laura

February 11, 2020

I’ve never worn much makeup, now, next to nothing. I remember my mother once saying to me, “Put on some lipstick for crissakes, you look dead!” I admit I do try with the lipstick thing but like you Viv, I forget to reapply. As for diets, bah! Just ask yourself how much weight you want to gain if you decide to go on one! Great post! …I still streak my hair…hmmm
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 12, 2020
  
  Hi, Laura! So good to hear from you. I love your Mom, though I never met her. Haha! Keep streaking your hair if it makes you feel good! xoxo
Reply
Shelley

February 11, 2020

My red hair hair faded out a long time ago, I stopped dying and let the grey in recently, and I’m also glad I’m not spending time and money on it. I went very short with it, but don’t care what it looks like, ease is the aim. Am also tired of the diet thing, give me comfort and good health instead. Makeup? I tried years ago, didn’t like it, although I do blindly swish the blush and lips on my way out to a fancier do. I completely agree with you, let’s just be us. Why shouldn’t people see the beauty in us, after all, we are wise old(er) women. Great post.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 11, 2020
  
  Thanks, Shelley! I’m really enjoying reading everyone’s feedback about this, because everyone has different levels of comfort with all these accoutrements and I think that’s great. What feels right and is comfortable is right for you!
Reply
Adrienne

February 11, 2020

Lovely, Viv. You made my day. The make-up part was so dead-on. My mascara is six years old. It’s going in the garbage today.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 11, 2020
  
  Thanks, Adrienne! Good idea, throw it out, it’s a wasteful product, anyway! 🙂
Reply
Lucie

February 11, 2020

Yeah, welcome to the free sixties girl !!! I gave up on dyeing my hair 4 years ago and I never looked back. I did the makeup, high heels, cute suits for years but as you say, it was a pain in the ass. I want to be comfortable in my shoes, my clothes, my life. I am very happy with this freedom.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 11, 2020
  
  Thanks, Lucie! I plan to enjoy my sixties!
Reply
MAvis

February 10, 2020

I am with you all the way on this post Viv. Well done!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 10, 2020
  
  Thanks, Mavis!
Reply
David Martin

February 10, 2020

Beautiful post, Vivian!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 10, 2020
  
  Thanks, hon! xo
Reply
Lucie

November 4, 2019

This is very touching and very sad. so well written.
Reply
Ann McLaughlin

November 4, 2019

Such a thoughtful post, Viv. Thank you for sharing.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 4, 2019
  
  Thank you for reading, Ann!
Reply
David Martin

November 4, 2019

Thank you for the beautiful gift of your thoughts, Vivian. 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 4, 2019
  
  Aw, thanks, sweetie!
Reply
Lucie

July 30, 2019

Me and heat don’t get along either and this feud dates waaaaaay back. Can’t wait for cooler weather. 😳😳😳
Reply
David Martin

July 29, 2019

Heat does have a way of beating one down. Good luck, Vivi!
Reply
Lucie

July 8, 2019

I love your philosophical musings, they are interesting and funny.
Reply
Lucie Levac

July 1, 2019

That’s all right, knitting IS good for your health. I think that walking does the trick and a few situps and lunges and you are in business. You made me laugh out loud, I enjoy your blogs.

Keep on walking !!!! 😄😄😄😄
Reply
David Martin

July 1, 2019

Lol, on the last paragraph!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2019
  
  Thanks, Dave! 🙂
Reply
Laura

July 1, 2019

Oh Viv, I’m there with you, do Capricorns think alike? I do go to Pilates, I like it, I think, or maybe I like that it makes me feel better. I suspect I keep it up because it has become a routine… anyway, it’s working so far, 2 years and counting.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2019
  
  We probably do think alike! Keep up the Pilates! Erica keeps trying to get me to try it, but I’m afraid…
Reply
Victoria

July 1, 2019

Great post and thanks for the links. Stephen Colbert is basically a national treasure.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2019
  
  Thanks, Victoria! Yes, indeed, Stephen Colbert!!
Reply
Lucie Levac

July 1, 2019

I loved the Steve Colbert bit. I am so not into politics but I totally agree with Ravelry’s position. Who knew there would be so much action into knitting !!!!

Funny how they still see us knitters are little old ladies !!!!

Enjoy the weather !!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2019
  
  I know, pretty exciting times in the knitting world. I hate to say it but we’re entering little old lady territory pretty soon, Lucie!
Reply
Erica Martin

May 13, 2019

This was lovely to read and a real comfort. As someone in my 30s I find that I worry about a lot of things you say don’t bother you as much anymore. I would love to get a head start and let more things go sooner rather than later!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 13, 2019
  
  Yay, I’m glad it helped a bit. It’s tough to “let things go”, easier said than done. Is it possible to skip to where you don’t care overmuch about certain things? I’d like to think so, with a little psychology, but the very fact of aging is part of what does it.
Reply
Lucie Levac

May 12, 2019

You are so right about some things that were important when you were younger aren’t anymore and it is liberating in a way. You are a wise woman. Maybe this also comes with aging. Loved your blog.
Reply
Adrienne Jones

May 10, 2019

Viv, you are reading my mind! I have been thinking many of the same things (as you know we will turn 60 within a couple of months of each other). I am also trying to prioritize sleep, definitely. And am sidestepping the trap of social “obligations” — only doing stuff I want to do. Well, most of the time. When I go out late I really, really pay for it the next day. 😀
Reply
Louise

May 9, 2019

Interesting Viv! I actually have more energy now than when I was in my 20s or 30s, because my lifestyle is a lot better, and then I was anxiously putting in long hours to build a career. Now I can rest on my laurels a bit. My tennis club is very social, and I find it’s the younger ones who call it a night early — they are working very hard, proving themselves, trying to get to the next rung. The older ones who stay out are more established and more relaxed. The other thing the late-nighters have in common? As you would expect, they live alone / or are single — so those friendships/interactions tend to have more importance. There is more motivation to stay out, even if fatigue the next day is the price to pay. Why not go home when you have company and family there 😊 Makes sense! . (And I still suffer from terrible FOMO!)
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 9, 2019
  
  It’s great to hear from someone with a different perspective, it must be all that tennis! And what you say about singles vs couples makes sense. Thanks for checking in!
Reply
Norma Young

May 9, 2019

You’re still just a kid to me, and always will be! Your really old Aunt Norma
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 9, 2019
  
  Aw, thanks, Auntie Norma!! I guess everything is relative, even the relatives! Love you!
Reply
Nora Lee

April 30, 2019

Hi, Vivian, I was the second of the four babies and I don’t remember that coat although the buttons somehow seem familiar. Thanks for sharing the photo, though. I think I’ll use it for my portrait rug. I wonder if the photo was taken in Great Falls, Man., the senior Lees house in the background. Speaking of boxes, I have some with letters and other records, not just of hers but Aunt Thelma’s and Dad’s. There is no value in beating myself up about them being there still. I will get to them and so will you.
– Nora
Reply
Victoria

April 29, 2019

Lovely post, Vivian. I too have a few boxes near my laundry room. I say they are this summer’s project…really, I mean it this time. And there will definitely be more occasion to do so when I start to give up reading morning papers. Jon Stewart used to talk about his morning cup of sadness. But the cup has grown darker, more sinister. At times, it is a cup of genuine despair. We can’t ignore it completely, but a little distance is not a bad idea.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 29, 2019
  
  Thanks, V! We’ll compare notes after we get those boxes open. Xo
Reply
Sandra Hunt

April 29, 2019

Yay Vivian❣️Eloquent, convincing and inspiring (hopefully to those who need to change as well as to those who deserve equal opportunity)
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 29, 2019
  
  Thank you, Sandra!
Reply
Adrienne Jones

April 14, 2019

I can imagine the vicious comments you received regarding your excellent article must have shaken you. But you should only feel proud that you put your observations out there. You certainly made me pause and reflect on your points. I know you thought you were stating the obvious, but there are plenty of people who are more than happy not to address the problems of inequality and lack of diversity — mainly those who have been benefiting from their privilege. But why should we ever think the people who hold the power would be willing to share it graciously? And to hide behind the idea of a meritocracy is disingenuous, and has been repeatedly revealed to be so. There is ugliness out there right now, and civil debate is a distant dream, for the moment at least. Viv, perhaps you’ve moved us ever-so slightly closer to a return to civility, in your “gentle, thoughtful way,” as Laura described your writing in a previous comment. Please keep writing.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 14, 2019
  
  You’re too kind, Adrienne! Where’s the nuance, right? We need more than just two sides, but it’s much too easy to fall into that trap.
Reply
Laura

April 14, 2019

I was particularly interested in how people use analogy to support their arguments, regardless, of their validity. Like you said it digresses and somehow dilutes the original observation. I find myself increasingly detesting how our world is becoming “a me versus you fight”; it takes away from any kind of critical argument on opposing thoughts and beliefs. Nothing is right or wrong, black or white, good or evil.
I applaud you on your beautiful writing outlining what you see in such a gentle, thoughtful way. 😘😘😘
Reply
David Martin

April 14, 2019

Best column ever, Viv. Such interesting thoughts, beautifully expressed. Especially liked your Jane Austen moment. 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 14, 2019
  
  Thanks, Dave! I’m so glad you caught that!
Reply
Lynn Giesbrecht

April 13, 2019

Love reading your well-articulated, balanced blog Vivian. I have to say that I am surprised that it got such a reaction. I really enjoyed the original post. Obviously it’s something that needed to be said. Keep it up and stay strong! Love you girl!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 13, 2019
  
  Thanks, Lynn! Great to hear from you!
Reply
Stephen Rowat

April 4, 2019

Excellent blog article. The author was clearly thankful of her own opportunities and opining that not all women have the same opportunities depending on where they live. I didn’t get a sense she was whining, and I say kudos to her for writing about an injustice. Should one not complain about FGM for example just because it didn’t happen to them? Should one not argue that that gold club in Augusta shouldn’t admit women even if you’re not a golfer?

Thanks for taking the time to write the article and enlighten us that equality still isn’t present everywhere.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 5, 2019
  
  Thanks, Stephen!
Reply
Geoff Radnor

April 3, 2019

There is a bit of gardening in my life, mainly with about 50 clematis in my back yard. Music too has a special place along with the garden. I do not play, or compose, just listen. Without an audience why compose or play?
Garden is late this year in Ottawa, still hidden under the snow.
Thank You
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 3, 2019
  
  Hi, Geoff, thanks for dropping by! 50 clematis! That’s impressive! I love them, too, but I only have about 5. I’ll be writing more about gardening as the snow melts so please subscribe so you’ll get updates!
Reply
Abbie Conant

April 3, 2019

Thank you for this commentary Vivian. It’s good to see a colleague address the VPO’s sexism. When a highly recognized woman orchestra musician like you speaks, people notice and can really relate to it.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 3, 2019
  
  Thanks, Abbie!
Reply
Scott

April 3, 2019

The author here is the misogynist. I’m 62 years old and when I was in the fourth grade and started in the public school band, The music director gave the three cornets to the three boys and the two trombones to the two girls. Every band and orchestra I have played in during my lifetime has had women in it. Plenty of women. Even the military academy I graduated from has women playing in the band on scholarship. This is another woman who wants everybody to change for her own personal preference. If you don’t like how something is done, quit demanding that they change for you. Go out, start your own organization or band, find your own sponsors or scholarship contributors, find your own venues, start your own business, and get on with it. Quit whining and demanding everybody change for you. Neither you nor anyone else in the world wants to be equal. Unfortunately women in the author’s category won’t be happy until men are eradicated from society and women run everything. Go find your own planet or learn how to deal with a world that isn’t run by your specifications. We are all disappointed with something. Be proactive and start something of your own.STOP WHINING !!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  April 3, 2019
  
  I’m very happy for you that you grew up in such a diverse musical milieu.. I had the same happy experience (as I mentioned in my post), but my point was, and perhaps I didn’t make it clear, or perhaps you missed that part, that I was talking about areas where such has not been the case, in fact, I was specifically talking about Vienna. Although, sadly, Vienna is not the only place in the world where women (and visible minorities) are underrepresented in professional music circles. Believe me, I’m not looking for more opportunities to play music, as I have a full time job in an orchestra in Canada, so don’t worry about me whining about lack of opportunities for myself. Thanks for taking the time to write.
- Reply
  Tromboken
  
  April 3, 2019
  
  Ditto Scott. Women, please quit the whining! The author was thankful she was playing a trombone in a major orchestra, so what is her problem? Quit demanding the whole world to change for your view on an issue!
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    April 4, 2019
    
    I suppose you think we should have never started whining about getting the vote? Had women never “whined”, as you put it, changes would never have been made. I’m not trying to say that men are bad/women are good in my article or anywhere. I saw inequality and I wrote about it, that is all. Certainly I’m thankful for what I have, but I also want to see other women have similar opportunities in future and not see what we’ve gained eroded.
  - Reply
    naila sinave
    
    April 7, 2019
    
    Tromboken, it is not because the author herself has had chance that every other woman benefits from that same privilege. So if I understand your point correctly, as you see it, people can only “whine” (as you and Scott like to call it) when they personally are affected by something? Have you ever heard of something called solidarity? As a woman, I will keep “whining” if I see injustice in this world regarding women in GENERAL even if in my personal life I do not suffer from gender inequalities. It’s called caring for others.
    - Reply
      Vivian Lee
      
      April 7, 2019
      
      Excellent point, Naïla, thank you!
- Reply
  naila sinave
  
  April 7, 2019
  
  Hey Scott, you might want to search “misogynist” in the dictionary… You pretty much lost all credibility with that first opening line, but I still read your comment until the end. Your other surprising idea – to say the least – is the one that says that nobody wants equality. I thought I may have read that wrong so I reread it a few times… But nope, that is actually what you wrote. I can’t even… But anyways, there was one true thing you said: “we are all disappointed by something”. You are right about that; I, personally, am disappointed that the author of this blog had to read such mean comments on her space. It is so sad that the people on the internet seem to forget that there are humans with feelings sitting behind their screens receiving their hate and negativity…
Reply
David Martin

March 30, 2019

Yeah, Viv!
Reply
Laura

March 6, 2019

I love this Vivvie, sums up plenty of the questions I regret not asking, they still come up and it’s been12 and almost 12 since both my parents died. Oh a big weep sometimes. xxoo
Reply
Lucie

February 20, 2019

Have a great tour and enjoy visiting with your daughter.
Reply
Laura

February 1, 2019

I love this sweater and enjoyed your write up very much even though I didn’t understand much of the technical stuff! 🤪🤪🤪
Vivian Lee

January 21, 2019

It was! Thanks for reading!
Reply
Linda

January 21, 2019

Sounds like such an amazing time. I loved reading your reflection. Glad to hear you are safe and sound back at home.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 21, 2019
  
  I had a lovely train ride back, thanks, Linda! Glad I wasn’t driving!
Reply
Victoria

January 21, 2019

Think of it as Vivian’s tranquil garden of the soul!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 21, 2019
  
  I’m beginning to think of it that way myself, Victoria! Thanks for checking in!
Reply
Nora Lee

January 21, 2019

Sounds like it went really well, Vivian. Congratulations!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 21, 2019
  
  Yes, it was a fantastic experience, Nora! I’ll have to tel you all about it sometime soon.
Reply
Theresa

December 3, 2018

I really enjoy Gretchen Rubin’s writing and it DOES help. Sometimes, just making my bed helps! One small orderly thing in a chaotic world. Not gonna lie – you’ve inspired me to revive my discarded (for no good reason) knitting habit – stitch ON girl 😉
Miss you xo
T
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 4, 2018
  
  Hi, Theresa! Thanks for checking in. I’m glad to hear other people have been checking out Gretchen. Which books of hers have you read? I read The Happiness Project many years ago and it really helped me think differently about happiness. I’m really enjoying her podcast. I agree that making the bed helps! 🙂
Reply
Lucie

December 3, 2018

I will definitely watch the podcast you suggested. It is hard to overcome these bleak periods but you are right, you need to find things that make you happy. I love putting up XMas tree and lights because It makes me feel good. Knitting always helped me relax and enjoy the moment.

So I hope you feel better soon and keep on knitting 💕💕💕
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 4, 2018
  
  Hi, Lucie, thanks for reading! I will definitely keep on knitting! If you click on the link you’ll be taken to Gretchen Rubin’s website and from there you can find the audio podcast through various platforms. Enjoy!
Reply
Lucie

November 17, 2018

You are right, I love the snow also, in reasonable measure (I live in Montreal and park on the street, need I say more). Everything is brighter, cleaner and the city sounds are muffled.

I am glad you are out of your November blues !
Reply
Lucie

November 13, 2018

Funny, I actually love the month of November because I can stay at home, nice and warm in a cozy chair, blanket, my 2 cats and knitting away. I am actually quite content when November comes around, it’s slow time and I can relax. To each its own I guess but I can understand that a lot of people don’t like it.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 13, 2018
  
  I’m happy to hear that other people have a different reaction to November than I do. It makes me think of it differently too. Happy knitting, Lucie! 🙂
Reply
Lucie

October 24, 2018

I enjoyed reading you, as always, fun and interesting.
Reply
Earth-loving Wil

October 9, 2018

Yes beautiful photo!
I’m impressed you have success with mums (although, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised)! I’ve always been told they’re difficult flowers in our zone! We also noticed the wet sidewalk… we just assumed that somehow we must of missed a very quick rain-shower… but now I guess it was just too humid to dry out – definitely unusual!!!
I see you as a co-believer in God… the earth kind anyway!!! 😁
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 9, 2018
  
  Haha, earth-goddess lover, maybe! I haven’t found mums a problem, but they’re pretty sheltered where they are and maybe there are different varieties that are harder. Thanks for reading!
Reply
Maureen

October 9, 2018

The cardinal (Mr. or Mrs.?) sure looks pensive. Perhaps thinking about the cold days ahead. Beautiful photo, Viv. And congrats on all your garden work today 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 9, 2018
  
  Thanks, Mau!
Reply
Lucie

September 20, 2018

I really enjoyed your daughter’s song and her entourage. I liked the video and interaction with the other girls.

I bought the yarn to knit the Zweig. I don’t really care for the Tecomseh, cross or bo cross. 🙂
Reply
Don and Norma Norma Young

June 29, 2018

Always happy to read about your creative activity, Viv! Love the lady cardinal too.
Reply
noralee2014

June 28, 2018

It must feel good to get that done. Just a thought, Japanese anemone can also get out of hand so may be it would be just as well to not have it take.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 29, 2018
  
  Thanks for that note of caution. I’ve never had a problem with it but who knows? I would rather it took off than the ground cover!
Reply
Maureen

June 7, 2018

As always, Viv, thanks for your beautiful work in the Tranquil Garden. It looks lovelier than ever from my second floor perch 🙂
Reply
Lucie

June 6, 2018

It was such an interesting read. Your garden looks beautiful. You truly uave a green thumb.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 6, 2018
  
  Thanks, Lucie! It would be nice to have you around one day to see it!
Reply
Laura C Davis

April 3, 2018

I loveall your knitting projects Viv! Maybe I’ll take it up again!
Reply
Lucie

March 31, 2018

I agree with you about winter and snow. I actually prefer fall and winter to summer although I can’t say I am crazy about shoveling. I don’t even mind the cold. However it is nice to see the trees full of leaves, the green grass and the springy colors. So, as you put it so well, different seasons, different chores LOL 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 31, 2018
  
  Yes, we’re full of contradictions, I guess! Thanks for reading, Lucie!
Reply
Lucie

January 28, 2018

Very nice, I am glad to decided to blog again. You are so right about the knitting vlogs. I also knit while watching or “listening” to vlogs. I discovered new yarn, new techniques and I enjoy the general chatter about the vlogger’s family and so on. You are a natural at both so keep them coming.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2018
  
  Thanks, Lucie! You’re so kind! 🙂
Reply
VR

January 27, 2018

Looks great…you go girl!
Reply
noralee2014

July 7, 2017

Sounds like a relaxing summer, all right. Nice setting for your Scarfy Thing photos. Wow, only a week until you are away. Have a great trip!
Reply
mysteriosum

June 1, 2017

Thanks for passing on the artist gene, mom! 😀

Great post. <3
Reply
Victoria

May 30, 2017

Lovely family tradition. You are inspiring me to return to the “female” arts…well the fact is Catholic nuns taught me embroidery etc 😉
Reply
mysteriosum

March 7, 2017

Nice post, Ma! I like that “Find Your Fade” pattern. We would certainly put one to good use in this house… =]
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 8, 2017
  
  Really?? It’s pretty nice, eh? Well, some day maybe… xoxo
Reply
Annie

March 7, 2017

Nothing that gives you pleasure in life is frivolous if you ask me! There are so many hurdles, stresses and boring tasks we are faced with that if you can find something to intrigue and motivate you than you are so lucky. Each knitted item will live a long life and be hopefully treasured and never machined washed, for many generations. A pricey hobby that creates priceless memories if you ask me!

With all that said, treat yourself hehe.

Annie
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 7, 2017
  
  I need no encouragement to treat myself, Annie! Thanks for dropping by!
Reply
Laura Davis

February 19, 2017

I’ve been thinking about colours ever since I read this post. I remember the swatches and seasons; I was misdiagnosed as being a winter, so of course, nothing the hag said quite suited me.

Anyway, I think that colour extends to everything we surround ourselves with, wall colours, bedding, linens, maybe even the art we choose. I once pained a hallway in a colour I really liked but it never quite sat well with me. (never repainted, too much work) That’s when I realized I was drawn to warm tones, the entire colour spectrum has warm and cool tones including bright ones, blacks and whites, I learned this from Lorae.

So, if you look around my house, the paint colour, the rugs, my bedding is all warm colours. There is cool mixed in but all the major stuff is warm. That’s what suits me in clothing choices, so I ask, are we all fundamentally egotistical, is “it” all about me? And, what happens when one partners up with an opposite tone?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 19, 2017
  
  It’s interesting that you went through this process with colour and gradually found your comfort zone. I think colours are a reflection of something inside each person, although what exactly I’m not sure, but I believe that it’s tied up with emotions. Which could bring one to conclude that the colours that look good on you might not necessarily be the ones you are drawn to. In my case, mostly they are, which is just lucky, I guess. So, yes, it is a very egotistical question and answer and when it comes to painting your house, well hopefully you’d find someone who couldn’t care less about the colours on the wall! I just remembered that most of my walls are yellow or orange, so what does that say?? Hmm, all very interesting.
Reply
Vivian Lee

February 15, 2017

Absolutely true, Michael! I’m sorry I have been so neglectful of my site that I only noticed your comment today. Please visit again!
Reply
Mavis

February 15, 2017

Yea Viv! I am just finishing off my 5th pair of socks this winter for family members then I get to decide what to do with the beautiful hand spun/hand dyed yarn my sister gave me last year. Be careful! You may be drawn to take up quilting next ;-). Looking forward to reading your expanded blog!
Reply
Vivian Lee

February 15, 2017

Thank you for your support, Travis. I’m excited to be back! I’m making good progress on your second sock… xoxo
Reply
mysteriosum

February 15, 2017

Hey mom! Nice return to form! I love the part of you which thinks “these challenges are worth the time and money!” That’s the essence of art, I think. I am highly appreciative of your new obsession. Keep up the good socks! I mean, work!

<3
-T
Reply
daveinem

October 4, 2016

I love it! Especially the ending…
Reply
Michael Noon

June 22, 2016

I think that James is one of the most ‘spiritual’ people, I have known, I have unbounded respect for his creative planning of this little piece of Eden and his dedication to the wonders of Mother Nature on Gambier.
Reply
mysteriosum

November 22, 2015

Gorgeous photos! =O
- Reply
  Kevin
  
  November 23, 2015
  
  This may sound sick to some but I tend to love any weather – and therefore I can embrace the grayness of November. As you said, this year nature was particularly pleasant towards our part of the world and gave us hints of all kinds of other times of the year.
  
  Good work on the pics – I particularly liked 1,3 and 6 with 6 being my favourite for colours and textures.
  
  Kevin
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    November 23, 2015
    
    Thanks, Kevin! You’re lucky that you enjoy all the seasons equally. I can’t claim that it’s the case with me. I have a love/hate relationship with winter, for example!
Reply
daveinem

November 22, 2015

Thanks for the beautiful post, VIvian…
Reply
jennifereagle1

November 22, 2015

A very resonant piece of writing to keep looking for beauty, despite the many versions of ‘autumn’ that seem to be pressing into our lives these days. Thank you Vivian.
Reply
jennifereagle1

October 27, 2015

I’ve really been enjoying your blog as well, Vivian, however I am excited to hear of the new directions you are heading off in with your music! You sound really energized and excited. I look forward to hearing about your journey via Facebook. Enjoy!
Reply
Katy

October 27, 2015

I’ve enjoyed this blog, Vivian, but I fully understand the need to put it on ice. I just want to say, too, that this post is inspiring to me. I need to goose myself out of a creative slump and what you’ve said about The Artist’s Way has prompted me to buy my own copy. Thank you for that.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 27, 2015
  
  Thank you, Katy, I am very pleased you’ve enjoyed the blog. I do recommend the book, but if you’re like me, and I know you are in this way, her references to God will be hard to stomach. I’ve found it useful to get past that however. Let me know what you think.
Reply
osmviv

October 27, 2015

Yes, I’m very excited to get together when you’re free. Thanks for reading the Tranquil Garden!
Reply
Sandra Hunt

October 27, 2015

Good for you Viv! We are going to read trombone rep in November – yay! Maybe let’s read a pack of your daughter’s songs too 🙂
Reply
Jennifer Eagle

September 28, 2015

Another great piece! Especially love the ending…
Reply
Laura

September 28, 2015

You’re not perfect! Yay Viv!!!
- Reply
  osmviv
  
  September 28, 2015
  
  Sorry to disillusion you, Laura ! Haha!
Reply
daveinem

September 27, 2015

Love it!
Reply
Jennifer Eagle

September 24, 2015

I love the idea of not being able to get motivated to the garden as the season wind downs to autumn- for the beauty is not again truly evident until Spring. This is how I often felt while doing ‘The Artist’s Way’ or any self-help book. I want to be surrounded in the beauty of the Spring Garden of what ever I am trying to achieve- and yet the patience, the work, and the many seasons I must get through to arrive there elude me. I have never been a gardener, house plants are more my pace. Is that why I am currently obsessed with poetry? Perhaps. On a complete aside I deeply relate to all your musical posts- thank you- gorgeous!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 25, 2015
  
  I’m glad you can relate to how I feel right now, even though you’re transferring it to other parts of your life. So you’ve already discovered The Artist’s Way? I know it’s been around a long time, but I only recently heard about it through my kids. I’m very happy my musical choices speak to you, Jennifer!
Reply
osmviv

August 26, 2015

Not sure why we care except that it’s hard to imagine our consciousness just ending. I have taken solace in the idea that my body will go back to the earth to nurture the flowers and plants, like you say, Laura.
Reply
Laura

August 26, 2015

I, too, grew up in a non-religious family-my mother always said, “When you’re dead, you’re dead.” She never wavered on this even when her own was imminent. My father too, he didn’t call for a priest as lapsed Catholics often do on their death beds. I believe there is energy there, has to be, we’re made up of it, so I guess our energy will disperse into the air and plants. Why do we care so much anyway?
Reply
osmviv

August 26, 2015

Well, you’ll never know whether you would have been better off with a bit of baggage because you’re stuck with your own experience, but you can always compare experiences with those who have (like your Dad for instance) grown up immersed in a religion.
Reply
mysteriosum

August 26, 2015

I followed a somewhat opposite path to you, Mother: I spent my whole adolescence and a part of my adulthood a staunch atheist. Now, while still “atheist” in the strictest sense, I recognise the existence of mysterious powers at work that help guide our actions, if we let it in to our hearts. I have become aware of the miracle that is our consciousness, the freedom of choice, and the trinity that is our heart, mind, and spirit. As beings, we must have all 3 in balance. Any one of them out of whack will wreak havoc on your life, whether you are aware of it or not.

It is interesting what you say about baggage, and maybe it would be easier to start without baggage to discard. Perhaps that is true. But, maybe, it would be a simple transition. Religion is, fundamentally, a spiritual practice, and honest practice of any religion will just have different names for the same feelings/concepts. I grew up with no baggage, so it was a struggle to lift, but once it was on my shoulders I realised it made me stronger, lighter, and that there was a voice coming from a pouch giving me directions. Kind of like a smart phone!

Keep on keeping on (and keeping gardens),
-Boykins
Reply
Katy

August 25, 2015

The only church I have ever truly worshipped at is what I have always called The Church of the Green World.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 26, 2015
  
  I love that. I’m joining!
Reply
osmviv

August 10, 2015

Food for thought, thanks Laura and Travis! It just might work!
Reply
Laura

August 9, 2015

Maybe Dave would be stoked if the foodstuffs included barley.
- Reply
  mysteriosum
  
  August 10, 2015
  
  Then we’ll finally make our beer! Haha
Reply
Sandra

July 21, 2015

Erica sounds soooooooooooooo beautiful. What lovely French.
I stand in front of my garden (there’s no where to go! )but I have similar thoughts which you have eloquently expressed.
- Reply
  osmviv
  
  July 26, 2015
  
  Thank you, Sandra, I appreciate your feedback. No matter how big or small the garden, the effect is the same, I think.
Reply
Adrienne

July 2, 2015

Thanks for this post Viv. I was feeling extremely hard-done by yesterday and have been shivering poolside while my youngest braves her daily swimming lessons. Meanwhile, in more meteorological irony, oldest offspring left for Seattle today where the temp is a sunny 30 degrees. My garden has a deep-green quality to it these days though. And we are attacking the closets…
Reply
Katy

July 1, 2015

I’m more grateful than I can say for a June that was on the cooler, wetter side. (I’m a true northerner, I guess.) My little garden has liked it too — it’s almost English in its green lushness. I just bought a hammock to put up out there, the better to enjoy what the cool and damp have wrought.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2015
  
  Good idea!! A hammock is the best. I haven’t used mine much this year, but that’s because it’s been wet more often than not. I hope to use it more when we come back.
Reply
victoria

July 1, 2015

Vivian, you are hilarious, and your lilies are indeed lovely. Yep, you called it: Barcelona will be pretty hot (but my daughter says it was 35 degrees in London yesterday, and my sister says it is the coldest summer she can remember in Corfu, so you never know). I say plan on doing the siesta like everyone else. It is easy because you have a little wine at lunch and then wake refreshed at 4 or 5, head out to see the sights, return for a quick shower, change, and have dinner starting at 10. Yes, I totally envy you and Dave and your hot and sweaty fun. Have a blast!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 1, 2015
  
  You’re right, one must embrace the siesta! When we first went to Italy it took us a while to become accustomed but we eventually did. I’m sure we can do it!! 🙂
Reply
osmviv

June 25, 2015

I know you wouldn’t dream of it, Andrea, but I’m chuffed that I tempted you with that beautiful song!
Reply
Andrea

June 25, 2015

I loved that song. So cool. Made we want to light up a cigarette and drink a martini …but I won’t cause we know that is bad for you!
Reply
James

June 23, 2015

Hi Vivian, I was very moved and humbled by your piece on my garden. Thank you for writing it and thank you for sharing it’s impact on you. You’re a wonderful writer and have an open invitation to come back any time! Reading your blog has inspired me to try and finally get my own up and running but in the meantime, I hope you can view some of the many pictures in my Facebook albums. I’m not a great photographer but they’ll give you a bit of feel for the transformation in progress.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 23, 2015
  
  Hi, James! It was I who was moved and humbled by your vision and work. I’m looking forward to looking at your photos and getting inspired once again. Thank you for the compliment to my writing, I appreciate it very much. I’m excited to get home and throw myself into some garden-making. I’ve been thinking about what you said about how my roses might be suffering mostly from where they’re placed. I’m going to create another bed just for the one that is most in the shade of my Japanese maple. I’ll get my husband in there to help me with the digging. He’s awfully good at it!
Reply
Coco Fralic

June 21, 2015

A beautiful piece!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 21, 2015
  
  Thank you, Coco! If you’re new to the blog, I hope you’ll come back often!
Reply
Jennifer Eagle

June 16, 2015

Stupendous garden and voluptuous piece of writing, Vivian! Thank you for the relaxing journey- and for the reminder to stop uttering wonderful, wonderful!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 21, 2015
  
  Thank you, Jennifer! I was very moved by the experience of being there, maybe because it was so unexpected on that semi-wild island.
Reply
Laura

June 16, 2015

Beautifully written Viv, I feel as if I was there and eagerly await more photos!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 21, 2015
  
  Aw, thanks, Laura! Much appreciated!
Reply
mysteriosum

March 3, 2015

Beautiful, mother! Though I must say I dread the spring. Late spring – the snow and mud gone, the air hot, but the wind cool – is my second favourite time of year, after the frigid challenges February provides. Call me what you will, I live for this stuff! #snowpants
Reply
mysteriosum

March 3, 2015

Hey Ma,

Interesting thoughts you got there. I think how you feel about gardening is how everyone ought to feel about any activity one enjoys. Committing yourself to something like gardening focuses your attention so completely we can forget ‘problems’ that exist outside our sphere of influence, which in turn reveals to us that they are not problems – not for us, anyway. It would be great to be able to stop the violence and bring peace to those who suffer, but that would require us to know the cause in the first place. Someone may eventually know it, but probably only in five years, and probably as a Doctoral thesis.

It’s not about lacking compassion, but about being dispassionate toward ‘the news’. We can only care so far as human beings, and to suppose we ought to is unrealistic and unhealthy.

Anyway. Just my thoughts =]

-T
Reply
Elizabeth

March 3, 2015

Wow! The views of the Italian orchard are particularly wonderful. And the sunset. No wonder you keep going back there!
Reply
Elizabeth

March 3, 2015

It is; but if I do it after it blooms and want to drastically cut it back, I risk cutting away all the new leaves and making it bald and/or killing it. I think (I’m not positive) that if I prune it now (brrrrrr) then all I risk is losing this year’s flowers. Which isn’t a great loss because it hasn’t been very prolifically flowering anyway. Even the the thing is called “Bridal Wreath” spirea, the stupid thing must come from a cheapskate branch of the family that doesn’t like to spend too much on frivolous things like flowers.

I was so hoping that you would have advice for me for when it was best to do this massive cut back. It’s really gotten out of hand and is taking over our dining area.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 3, 2015
  
  You’re probably right about the timing; if you want to prune it that drastically, during its dormancy would be the best time. My sister (a very knowledgeable gardener!) says one should never cut more than a third away at a time, but I think she’s talking about during the growing season.
  - Reply
    Vivian Lee
    
    March 3, 2015
    
    I still think you could wait a week or two!
Reply
Elizabeth

March 3, 2015

As attractive as the idea of having fancy topiary is, I’m afraid I still haven’t steeled myself to get out there. I just can’t bear the idea of wearing gloves that are thin enough so I can still hold the secaturs. It’s too cooooooooooold!!
Reply
Elizabeth

February 27, 2015

At this point, I’m beginning to think that spring will never arrive and that we have begun the next ice age.

Alas, I am not stoic. So much so that I’m not allowed to say the words “I’m freezing” any more. It’s weather like this that made me move away from Edmonton.

What a fabulous photo of the farmer-planting-a-tree topiary! (Hmmm, I wonder how to get the overgrown shrubs in our back garden to look like that….)
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 27, 2015
  
  Good luck with the shrub-pruning! You’re an artist, right? It’ll be just like in the picture!
Reply
Elizabeth

February 27, 2015

Worn down. Yes. That is me.

Every fall and every late spring, I vow that I will go out in February to drastically prune the bridal wreath spirea that has gotten way out of hand (I know; it means we may miss getting blossoms in the spring but better that than being unable to sit on the patio because the shrubs have been reading The Day of the Triffids and decided to see what taking over the world is like.)

As you can imagine, I have not even looked for my pruning shears this month. I’m not sure I’d be able to hold them with four pairs of mittens on.

Ah, my favourite song!!! Thank you Erica Lee Martin!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 27, 2015
  
  OMG, I have never in my life contemplated pruning in February! Maybe when we move to BC for our retirement years. Or Costa Rica. I think you should pat yourself on the back for even vowing such a thing! Do it just after it blooms, isn’t that the protocol for a spring-flowering shrub? Sounds logical to me!
Reply
maur

February 24, 2015

Camelia and magnolia… I saw them in a picture once… Vivian, thank you for putting into words all those lovely thoughts about the seasons. It will definitely help take the edge off what’s left of winter (plus it’s going up to -7C tomorrow… that’s right, a minus single digit…)
Reply
Vivian Lee

February 24, 2015

OH, Laura, I can’t deny I’m totally jealous! I can accept a certain amount of winter fairly stoically, but this year has been a bit much!! Let’s say I have a love/hate relationship with it.
Reply
Laura

February 24, 2015

As poetically as you put it Viv, I still hate 7 month winters! We’ve had non-winter here this year and I just noticed the camelia is just starting to bloom, the magnolia is almost bursting. Am I gloating? Yep, 12c today.
Reply
Vivian Lee

January 20, 2015

Hey, Laura! I’m going to share your photo when I get a chance. Yes, that’s a great idea! I’ve never tried it but I’d like to. 🙂
Reply
Laura

January 20, 2015

Viv, you can always force forsythia, like I have, to have a splash of colour in non-growing season.IMG_0734.jpg
Reply
maur

January 19, 2015

Thanks for bringing back the blog, Viv! Seeing these lovely photos of the TG makes me long for the spring. Patience, right?
Reply
David Russell Martin

January 19, 2015

Such a lovely, well written post. A reflection of what you do in your garden, I would say…
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 19, 2015
  
  Thanks, Dave! Well, Italy is pretty inspiring!
Reply
Elizabeth

January 19, 2015

Congratulations!! It’s horribly daunting to restore the database, isn’t it?

Lovely photo!

I like the credo and will try to adhere to it… I can’t promise about taking no shortcuts though. Or that I won’t procrastinate. (Hmmm, should I be doing that radical pruning of shrubs now? …nahh… it’s too cold!)
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 19, 2015
  
  Once I was steered towards the process and carefully followed all the steps, it wasn’t so hard because I had an uncorrupted database as a back-up. I just had no idea how to begin and was very daunted! As for pruning, I don’t think there’s a single garden in the country where someone should feel obligated to prune shrubs in January! Even gardeners in the more temperate provinces deserve a winter break. 🙂
Reply
osmviv

August 20, 2014

Wonderful, Sophie! I’m so glad you’re enjoying your new neighbourhood.
Reply
Sophie

August 20, 2014

Acknowledging the beauty around us, and expressing gratefulness for good ideas… thanks Viv for doing just that!
We are so lucky to live close by public parks (and… in a peaceful country, of course), competently tented and joyfully attended. As you know, I recently moved right next Jarry Park. I am so grateful for this green space, with its pond, ducks, benches, people and huge sky above!
I may not have a big garden, but I feel blessed by a nearby park.
Reply
mysteriosum

August 19, 2014

Yes, living close to that park, it is easy to take it for granted! But it really is awesome! A staggering amount of varied adolescent memories take place there. It is a small, but excellent space.
- Reply
  osmviv
  
  August 20, 2014
  
  Glad you have some good memories of the park, Travis! It’s a lovely place.
Reply
maur

August 5, 2014

But I’m getting a bit better. I’ve even turned the compost once or twice (and reading your post, Vivian, reminds me that I should offer to do it more than once a year!)
Reply
Laura

August 2, 2014

Remember that time I threw my over winter compost into the bin? I still gag thinking of it!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 4, 2014
  
  OH, yes, Laura, I remember it well! You and Mau have the weakest stomachs ever!
Reply
Nora Lee

July 27, 2014

Hi, Viv, I love that song and that album. I think you are quite right about gardening for decor versus gardening for the love ot it. You can really see the difference. However, some gardens that are very beautiful and done with love are also very much gardening for decor. I also admire people who can show restraint, as you have implied, by having fewer plants, selected for their particular qualities that suit the design and often having 3 or 5 of one kind to make more of an impact. If you go that way, do remember to think ahead about how much room they will take up! Glad you had a nice time in Italy.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 27, 2014
  
  HI, Nora, yes, well, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be the kind of gardener that does swaths of the same thing to make that great visual impact, simply because I don’t have the room, plus I love so many different plants. How do you limit yourself? Some plants will take up all the room, though you only plant one little thing, anyway! Like the bee balm! It would take over the whole garden if I let it, I think. Anyway, thanks for the comment!
Reply
Mrs. Robertson Victoria

July 5, 2014

Love your peach rose. I have one in my kitchen at the moment, picked by my mother-in-law from her garden as a good omen for my new home!
Reply
maur

July 5, 2014

Beautiful photos, Viv. Imagine if there were trees that size in the Tranquil Garden…
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 5, 2014
  
  I know! I was really amazed. 🙂
Reply
Sandra Hunt

July 5, 2014

Hey Viv! like you, we’re out here on the west coast now, witnessing nature at its most beautiful! Lovely photos!
Sandra
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  July 5, 2014
  
  Hi, Sandra! I was wondering whether you were out there around now. Enjoy the amazing lush greenery!
Reply
Mridu Parmar

June 12, 2014

Thank you Viv-picked up some more hostas!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  June 12, 2014
  
  HI, Mridu, great idea to pick up more hostas. I really like hostas when they’re used as accent plants. For some reason, a lot of the same hostas in a row I find boring, most of the time. I hope you enjoy them!
Reply
Margot Maddison-MacFadyen

June 10, 2014

Great the video clip. Sounds like bossy Aunt Grizelda stomping all over bright young Suzie’s train!

I had a case of disappearing lady slippers a few years back. They had been growing nicely under a huge maple at Fox Hollow. Rare and prized wild plants, we had protected them with a little circular Gary-crafted fence, just for them, and so that nobody would step on them accidentally. Some mysterious creature ate them in that fall. They were bitten off right at their bases, and I think the pernicious bug even burrowed into the ground and ate the roots, too.

I love your posts, and I am going to try your lasagna method on my Charlottetown allotment this fall.
Reply
Vivian Lee

June 9, 2014

Thanks, Nora! I’m very pleased with it. I still haven’t cut that mystery tree down but it’s on my to-do list. It’s not a good spot for it!
Reply
Nora Lee

June 7, 2014

That photo of the shade bed is gorgeous, Vivian. BTW, I don’t think that is a linden but I don’t know what it is. Nice kind of mystery to have.
Reply
osmviv

May 29, 2014

Good idea, Laura. I will post them here and there as I add more stuff. 🙂
Reply
Laura

May 29, 2014

Viv, Would love to see before and after photos!
Reply
Margot Maddison-MacFadyen

May 28, 2014

Nice post, Viv. We are still in winter here on PEI. Two frost warnings this week, and Gary took his winter coat to work this morning. But it is supposed to soar to 18 degrees tomorrow. Meanwhile, my tomatoes and cucumbers sit on south facing windowsills, and the Okra I have started, which are also on a south facing windowsill, shivers. Any chance you can turn on your “likes” function so that we can like your posts?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 28, 2014
  
  Hi, Margot!
  I feel for you, still suffering through the long, cold spring. I’m glad you’ve got those veggies waiting to be planted. When is the last-frost date usually in your area?
  I have been thinking of adding the “like” option, but I’m a little slow figuring out WordPress. I’m going to study it and will have it up and running soon. Thanks!
Reply
Vivian Lee

May 28, 2014

I just compared images from google and I’m not convinced, although they’re very similar. More research might be required!
Reply
Julie Hobbs

May 28, 2014

Is your mystery tree a linden tree? The flowers and leaves look familiar.
Reply
Weed-Picker Jr.

May 13, 2014

Lovely post, Mother. The philosophy you’ve adopted for these weeds can (and should!) also be applied to people we don’t like.

They won’t go away; the least you can do is learn to tolerate/ignore them. The most you can do is learn to appreciate their beauty and utility in society.

Also, the title of this post made me think of this:
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Beholder

Love,
Your son
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 13, 2014
  
  You’re absolutely right, Trav! The garden has much to teach us about life.
Reply
Adrienne

May 13, 2014

Thanks for this one Viv. I was feeling very glum about the weeds issue today and this article brightened me up considerably!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 13, 2014
  
  Glad I could help!
Reply
victoria

May 9, 2014

Whatever the colour, hibiscus means summer to me. It is my absolute favourite. Your deck looks so inviting, Vivian. Cheers!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  May 9, 2014
  
  Yes, Victoria, I agree! I almost always have a hibiscus and last year I went without. I had to rectify that situation early on this year. I may have misled some people with my photos, which are “stock” photos from previous gardening years. Must come clean: my deck does not look like that right now!
Reply
Vivian

May 9, 2014

Hi, Margot! In case you’re wondering, the photos I posted are from other years! Our daffodils are blooming, just, and the tulips are almost ready. Muscari is blooming, lungwort and hellebore too. I’m still anxious about a possible frost, but it sounds like you won’t be planting for awhile! Thanks for looking in.
Reply
Margot

May 9, 2014

Your garden is far ahead of mine. Crocus are still purple here on PEI, and daffodils are small spears coming up through dark soil. Frost last night, and my car’s windshield glistening in the sun.
Reply
Child of Winter

March 29, 2014

Hey Ma,

Beautiful post, as always! I must admit that even I have been feeling the chill more harshly than usual. I am ready for my favourite season to move on. Though it is because of our cold weather that we’re not getting the brunt of the “polar vortex” which has blanketed the east coast! So praise be to -15.

There is a bug with the song in my browser (chrome, windows 7): when I play the song, it takes over the screen and it is nothing but grey and I have to close the window x_x;

-T
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  March 29, 2014
  
  I’m sorry about the problem with the song! What do you suppose it is? It worked when I tried it! I wonder if anyone else is having this problem. Thanks for the nice comments!
Reply
Andrew Clayden

February 17, 2014

Great post Viv! Isn’t it funny how these pieces come along? We think we know them, then realize there is way more there than we initially thought. I had a similar experience playing “Norma” years ago. Turns out to be another amazing “larger than life” story with historical importance, as well as the story of male/female relationships and power struggles. (Too bad the trombone parts are so lame by comparison to Gershwyn!)
Also at the time, I was fascinated by the question of endurance for the singer playing the role of “Norma” – she barely leaves the stage! I don’t remember who sang the role but I was amazed how when she sang a big aria, the sound came from her whole body, not just her mouth! I learned a lot about human interaction from the story, and a lot about performing from that singer…..
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  February 17, 2014
  
  Thanks, Andrew! Yes, it’s good that we can still learn new things after years on the job. Keeps it fresh!
Reply
Former proprietor of the room in question

January 29, 2014

I have a room like that, but there is a distinct dearth of daisies there (I went for the alliteration rather than the sensible). I hold it, also, as my sort of haven; I am able to exist on my own level with no fear of disturbance. Well, little fear of disturbance. 🙂

I love your posts, Mother. Keep it up!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 29, 2014
  
  Thank you my dear! I’m glad you have a room of your own, too! May it always be the case. 🙂
Reply
Wil

January 28, 2014

That’s fantastic that your “mom’s” orchid re-bloomed!!! I know orchids can be a little fussy and I’ve personally never had success in this regard! Loved your heart-warming post!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  January 28, 2014
  
  Thanks, Wil! That was my first successful re-blooming ever, so it’s extra special. The one I got for my Dad the year before didn’t make it, unfortunately. I certainly enjoyed it while it lasted but I couldn’t keep it alive. They are kind of fussy. I think I found the right light conditions (very little direct light, quite a bit of indirect light) in my practice room. Seems to be working and all the plants like it in there.
Reply
victoria

January 28, 2014

Lovely post, Vivian. Can’t help but start to think of warmer weather and an open window in your room!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  January 28, 2014
  
  Thanks, Victoria!
Reply
Monty's Older Brother

December 29, 2013

Nice post, Ma! Very emotional. Some sentiments I didn’t expect. Sadly, the most heartfelt sentence in your post is also the worst run-on!

Keep up the good work.
-T
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 29, 2013
  
  Yes, I probably should have re-written it. My emotions run away with me I guess! Thanks for the editing heads-up!
Reply
sandra

December 27, 2013

Exactly my sentiments as I started my kitchen ritual this morning: What did I actually DO yesterday? Sometimes I think winter makes it even harder to get going on something, but when I get outside, its invigorating, just like they say in the self-help books!

Also I deeply admire that you went all the way to NYC to see a fairly rebarbative play, even with such sexy actors! We just watched Patrick Stewart in the first make of Gaskell’s North and South. He’s delicious.

No existential angst watching that!

love,
Sandra
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 27, 2013
  
  We didn’t go to NYC just to watch the play, but it was really worth it!
  We’re watching the second make of Gaskell’s North and South, I guess you’ve seen it? Pretty good so far, but I need to see Patrick Stewart’s version!
Reply
Sophie

December 27, 2013

Nice post, Viv. Thanks for going the trouble of encapsulating your thoughts about the play! You’re obliviously not groggy from drinking too many egg nogs or other such liquids. As for the play’s subject, there is something liberating and energizing to hear about common existential plights… it’s much better than fearing that everyone has got it (life) figured out except you! Congrats to Dave & Travis for the catch-up shoveling. Hope the snow banks were not too hardened by the time you came home.
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  December 27, 2013
  
  Hi, Sophie! Thanks for reading! Yes, the shovelling was a bit difficult but good exercise after the long drive. 😉 Hope you’re having a nice holiday!
Reply
David Martin

December 26, 2013

For the record, I found it uplifting, not depressing! A lovely work of art that addresses our common plight in a non-didactic way.
Nice post hon, keep ’em coming!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  December 26, 2013
  
  Maybe it was Travis who found it depressing? I know someone mentioned it! Anyway, thanks, Dave!
Reply
Laura

November 29, 2013

One thing that’s growing in my community is electric cars; there are at least a dozen re-charging station here on the coast, quite a few given the meagre population. It’s getting to the point where it’s incumbent upon all of us to get an electric car… In Alberta car insurance is about 500 a year, unfortunately BC, imagine?, hasn’t gotten on that page yet.

I recently went with a friend in her electric car (a Tesla) to visit Lorae in Mukilteo. What a great car, we only had to charge up once on the way there, coming home, no! Tesla’s are quite pricey, however, there are many other options available under 30k. Check it out, it’s another way to save our world and our wallets.
Reply
Badass Supreme

November 26, 2013

Nice post Ma 😉

I’m with you on the plastic bottles thing. I never buy them even when I’m really thirsty and have no other options. I don’t bring a re-fillable water bottle with me but that’s another story XD

Yesterday I actually overdressed for biking and was all sweaty when I got to your place <_<;
It's important to gauge the weather before you head out!

-t
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 26, 2013
  
  Thanks, Travis! I know what you mean about dressing properly for the weather. I tend to worry about being cold and end up sweating. Today I really should have biked(!) but I, once again, wimped out. Sigh!
Reply
Virginia

November 8, 2013

Passing the word about this problem helps a lot, I’m sure.
The more people are aware, the more we’ll make helpful choices.
Thanks for your interest and the sharing of it.
There’s a bee’s nest in my garden (at least I think they’re bees) in a hole in the earth under a groundcovering shrub.
When I first noticed loose earth beside a hole in the middle of the shrub,
I began shoving the earth back into the hole and I promptly got stung.
Then I stood back and realized they’ve got as much of a right to be there as me…
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 8, 2013
  
  That’s great, Ginny! I believe most bees live in holes either in the ground, in hollow trees or similar spaces. I’m glad you decided to “live and let live”; you’re doing your garden and your neighbours’ gardens a favour. You can actually buy special “Bee Blocks” to house some bees who like to live in woody spaces. I’m going to look into that for my yard!
Reply
Sophie

November 7, 2013

Fascinating! (I don’t mean to quote Mr Spock) It is a matter of urgency. I’ll try to make more conscious choices to help bees… and us all.
Thanks Viv.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  November 8, 2013
  
  Thanks, Sophie! It is difficult to know how to act sometimes, the world around us seems to make our choices for us.
Reply
Laura

October 15, 2013

Love the music and I can’t wait to see the garden even if covered in the white stuff!
Reply
Kevin Lee

October 10, 2013

I admire your determination not to use chemicals. I also give a nod to all those folks out there who view dandelions as a wonderful crop. I am personally very fond of their bright yellow flower and totally in awe of their seed “pod” and seeding process – fly wherever the wind takes you.

My definition of a weed is any plant that you do not want in your garden. It is very clear that you are not interested in a field of dandelions. They are, therefore, weeds. Like you and Nora I always prefered to simply dig out the roots with a proper weeder but you might consider a weed stick alternative. My recollection is that simply touching the weed will result in it dying off. Here is a link to what I was thinking might work: http://www.homehardware.ca/en/rec/index.htm/Outdoor-Living/Yard-Maintenance/Pesticides/Weed-Control/Herbicides/150g-Weedex-Dandelion-Stick/_/N-ntlmg/R-I5048913

Kevin
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 14, 2013
  
  I agree with your definition of a weed. Somehow I’ve never been able to fall in love with dandelions despite their cheeriness, so I definitely put them in the weed category. I will check on that weed stick but anything that kills the plant that easily is probably going to have an adverse affect on surrounding plants so I would hesitate to use it. Thanks for commenting, Kevin! Always appreciated.
Reply
David Martin

October 7, 2013

Lovely and edifying post, as always, hon! I especially like the part about putting your gardening tools away… Heheh..
Reply
Cliff Trott

October 7, 2013

Very good article. We should all take heed. I think you should start a Facebook conversation that requires that one should have to list some active accomplishment achieved prior to a post in FB. ie Paid for this year’s licence renewal, I really enjoyed your blog. (That is my entry for today).
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 7, 2013
  
  Thanks, Cliff! Appreciate the comments. It would be a good idea if everyone did one productive thing before FB’ing. Just think of the soar in the overall productivity of the world!
Reply
#1 son

October 7, 2013

Nice one Mother! Another step in the way of the Mustache 😀
Reply
Nora Lee

October 6, 2013

The dandelions are definitely tough customers. They pushed their way through the newspaper and three inches of earth I put on my new landscape last year. However, they were a bit easier to pull, I think. You are probably right not to dig since, as you say, you will make more openings in the cloth. At least cut them off. I went to a lecture on Japanese gardens and the lady recommended for that purpose a super heavy duty landscape cloth, probably not biodegradable, to go under the gravel. Also, I notice you didn’t list periwinkle among things you are planting. I’ve meant to write and suggest you don’t since, from what I’ve read, it may not be a good idea since it spreads everywhere.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 6, 2013
  
  Thanks, Nora! I’m glad to get your advice and I’ve been wondering whether planting periwinkle is a good idea. In fact, I did put in a couple of small pieces but maybe I should pull them out since I know it’s really tenacious once it gets going. I planted some in the backyard under the lilac bush and it took forever to get established but now it seems to be getting quite aggressive. I’ll have to keep an eye on it. I’ve recently tried to pull some out and it’s really firmly anchored! I was quite surprised.
Reply
Virginia Spicer

October 6, 2013

Sorry to hear you twisted your ankle, but rest assured that nature is finally taking care of business and watering the garden…what a relief!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  October 6, 2013
  
  I know! I suspect a lot of the problems I’ve noticed in the garden lately are due to a lack of moisture. I’m afraid I’m not very good about watering…
Reply
maur

September 30, 2013

BTW, it doesn’t really look like a graveyard when you see it in person…
Reply
maur

September 30, 2013

I can’t wait for Phase III-V. Maybe I’ll even lend a hand again!
Reply
victoria

September 28, 2013

The fact that a praying mantis would feast on a hummingbird is perhaps the most upsetting thing I have heard in days. I am not one to anthropomorphize (except when my feline scores a chipmunk), and I understand that beneath the tranquil canopy lies a Darwinian jungle. But not the hummingbird, for goodness sake. Is nothing sacred?
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  September 28, 2013
  
  I know, right?!! Thanks a lot, Bob, I’ll never get
  that image out of my head!!
Reply
daveinem

September 28, 2013

“The tranquil garden was the place to be” except if you’re a male of the species! (“Probably they need the added nourishment to feed their young. Very sensible, I call it!”)
Makes the blood run cold!
Reply
Laura

September 27, 2013

Beautifully written Viv and so very true.

I just can’t get the image of Erica hovering over me with a tarter pick in her hand in a ferociously bad mood, arrrgggghhhh!!!
Reply
Margaret

September 27, 2013

I love this. You’re so gifted with your words and now you’re making me want to blog again. Damn it.
Reply
Viola Sob, I mean sub

September 26, 2013

You guys did the right thing!!! Don’t ever doubt it! Speaking as someone who hasn’t quite (yet) reached the pinnacle of success… whenever I doubt my career path, I try to think what else I would enjoy doing and come up empty. And I’m always grateful to my parents for introducing me to music and especially for starting me on the violin! Seriously, when I hear a beautiful piece of music, I always think how lucky I am to have this as part of my life and actually feel sorry for the many who have not been so lucky. Besides, it’s such a fun subject to study! Anyway, if Erica ever decides to do something else, I say aim high… be the dentist, not the hygienist…and hopefully she’ll be singing as she works! xoxo
Reply
Bob slapcoff

September 26, 2013

Great post Viv! I agree that as parents we should let our kids pursue their passions. A very important point is that a musical education is a great education, period.
As a teacher at the CEGEP level I’ve dealt with many students who I know will never make it as pros but I never feel like it’s a waste of their time (or mine).
They are learning important skills beyond the purely musical and in an apprentice situation…as such they are some of the most fortunate students in the system.
When my own kids were little they all had lessons on whatever their chosen instrument was. Unlike some parents we made a conscious decision not to fight with them to practice and eventually they quit. We sent them to a high school with a good music program and they all started up again. Two of them are now playing in bands for fun and one may switch into music having developed a passion over the last few years.
So yeah, you’re right. Love, guide, support, and nurture your kids then stand back and see what happens. Kind of like gardening!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 26, 2013
  
  I’m glad to hear it, Mysterious Alto Sub! May you continue to be nurtured by your art. xo
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 26, 2013
  
  Nature vs nurture? Left to find its way, nature wins out, I think. Thanks for the comment, Bob!
Reply
David Martin

September 26, 2013

Erica can’t be a dental hygenist- she’s too attractive, and she will distract the dentist from his duties…
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 26, 2013
  
  Haha, you might have a point there…
Reply
Andrea

September 24, 2013

I laughed at the graveyard comment and the comment by David Martin. Ps, from my experience, you can cover up that grass with black tarp and red mulch and stones and it will still find a way to live!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 24, 2013
  
  Yes, I’ve had the same experience, Andrea, so I’m really keeping my fingers crossed here!!
Reply
David Martin

September 24, 2013

Why don’t you ask your deadbeat husband to help?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 24, 2013
  
  I just might do that!
Reply
Virginia Spicer

August 31, 2013

Looking at our handiwork 2 days later with fresh eyes, it’s a definite improvement with plenty of possibilities as far as planting.
Placing stones for the rock garden on the incline to the lane is a
logical next step, though that could wait till spring to give time to
gather some especially nice rocks.
It was really fun working on phase one.
Many thanks for your hospitality!
Virginia
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  September 1, 2013
  
  Thank you again, Ginny! I couldn’t have done it without your help. I enjoyed it very much too. Next time you have a project and need a hand, give me a call!
Reply
Margot

August 31, 2013

So much work, but so worth it. Your garden is a lively canvas, Viv. I look forward to future posts.
Reply
Laura

August 30, 2013

I agree, sounded like a lot of shrieking at the end – loved the beginning, they screwed that one up. Ahhh, what do I know?

LOVE the yard Viv!!!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 30, 2013
  
  Haha, yeah, I warned you! It’s definitely musical theatre…
  
  Glad you like it! You’ll have to come back and visit one of these days! xo
Reply
Carolyn Christie

August 30, 2013

Beautiful work, Viv and Ginny!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 30, 2013
  
  Thanks, Carolyn!
Reply
David Martin

August 30, 2013

Very proud of you, Vivi!
Reply
#1 son

August 28, 2013

Also, be sure to call me in for a couple of days of planting!
Reply
David Martin

August 28, 2013

Somerled Park- a lovely place to take your dogs for a pee!
- Reply
  maur
  
  August 29, 2013
  
  Somerled Park’s garden is one of my favourites in the neighbourhood. Other than the Tranquil Garden, of course.
Reply
AJ

August 28, 2013

This is amazing. I’ve been dying to do the same thing in my front “yard” after many years of disappointments with seeding and re-seeding. I’ll be following this project with a lot of interest. Good luck Viv.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 28, 2013
  
  I’m nervous, but at this point any change is a good thing!
Reply
#1 son

August 28, 2013

Don’t you mean, champion digger Mr. Tranquil Garden?
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 28, 2013
  
  Yes, of course, Dear, my mistake!
Reply
sandra

August 28, 2013

You go girl!!!! I am impressed.
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 28, 2013
  
  Thanks, Sandra!
Reply
Margot

August 24, 2013

LOVE the Magic Flute!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 26, 2013
  
  Thanks, Margot! Hope you’re doing well.
Reply
Sophie

August 24, 2013

I noticed the leafy garden-theme in Papageno & Papagena’s costumes. A fine segue to your post, Viv… And they were healthy and lively looking (obviously, not wearing some of your poor rose bushes).

Best wishes for the de-grassing project!
- Reply
  Vivian Lee
  
  August 26, 2013
  
  Thanks, Sophie, I love that aria, so much fun!
Reply
Laura

August 21, 2013

I love it that you’re getting rid of the grass! It will be a marvel, not an eyesore, once you’ve finished especially with Dave the best ditch digger I’ve ever seen!!!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  August 21, 2013
  
  Oh, gawd, now the pressure’s on!
Reply
David

August 20, 2013

I’ll be there for the digging, sweetie!
- Reply
  maur
  
  August 21, 2013
  
  I’ll lend a hand too. It’s the least I can do since I walk past it every day 🙂
  - Reply
    Vivian
    
    August 21, 2013
    
    Yay, thanks, Mau!
  - Reply
    Vivian
    
    August 21, 2013
    
    You’re the best, Hon!
Reply
David Martin

August 13, 2013

Lovely thoughts, Vivi!
Reply
Julie Hobbs

July 2, 2013

Beautiful pictures!
Reply
Hoser

June 26, 2013

Gee, I seem to recall seeing some beautiful, healthy roses outside a botanical garden somewhere recently…. Wait…. It was in your backyard!!! Yes, I remember clearly now – beautiful pink roses!!!! I was very impressed!!! Right beside those nicely coloured lilies which were also quite fantastic.
I do understand how the grass can be greener however, especially when it comes to Italy!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  July 1, 2013
  
  Hey, Hoser! Thanks for the compliment! Yes, my roses look pretty nice but if you’d seen Emanuela’s you’d know what I mean. The photos don’t do them justice. Gotta get more roses!
Reply
Heather

June 26, 2013

Gorgeous, thanks for sharing Vivian, I wish I could grow roses in our garden, we’ve tried several kinds and no roses grew. I’d love to have scented roses.
We do have the Hosta Nora bought for the garden out front by the steps. I didn’t think that would grow but it has. I bought two different Hostas , Sharmon, and another one this year, and both are growing. This year we put bark Mulch where we wanted to plant and this has helped a lot.
Reply
#1 son

June 25, 2013

Beautiful! Imagine seeing that paysage every day? I think I’d cry every day.

That is also really interesting about that rose breeding stuff. I now wonder what about those colours of rose makes them susceptible to such modifications. Did your article say anything about that?
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  June 25, 2013
  
  It was wonderful, that’s for sure! No, the article didn’t get that technical about why those colour genes are more adaptable. You’ll have to do some research!
Reply
Jackie

June 2, 2013

Could it be papyrus “little tut”? Nice post, Viv!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  June 2, 2013
  
  I’ll check that out, Jackie! Thanks!
  - Reply
    Vivian
    
    June 2, 2013
    
    I just checked the web and according to the images I found, it’s not ‘little tut’ but it is definitely a papyrus of some sort. Found a pic that looked a lot like mine, but with no name attached. It just said Cyperus papyrus.
Reply
Nora

June 2, 2013

Hi, Viv,
Nice article. Neat picture of Abe! That 2011 version looks very attractive. I think this type of feature can be quite satisfying. The pond does have it’s challenges. The string algae has sprung up again. I haven’t done the big clean-up, yet. I lost 9 fish this winter but they were all among the largest. First die-off in a few years. I wondered if that was because they were old and suffered more from lack of oxygen or the cold. The population needed trimming anyway.

Have fun!
Nora
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  June 2, 2013
  
  Thanks, Nora! Do you remember the name of the papyrus-type plant?
Reply
Pond Digger

June 2, 2013

Interesting! Is it possible/desirable/convenient to have a water feature indoors? Just curious…
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  June 2, 2013
  
  Yes, it is possible! Whether it is desirable or convenient is up to the individual. But seriously, the same process as I lined out should work indoors, but you’ll need a sunny window to keep it in and it might be best to keep it simple. Try one or two very easy-going plants and see how that goes before making it more elaborate. You wouldn’t have the mosquito issue, at least!
Reply
Virginia Spicer

May 23, 2013

An idea for the front under the maple tree could be to plant a mixture of hostas and ferns intermingled with shade ground covers.
The big job of course is preparing the site before planting.
One way is to add the earth, cover the area with geotextile (french term) and cut holes in it where you want to plant. It could be covered with mulch for the time it takes (a couple of years) for the plants to grow in.
The retaining wall would probably have to be put up as you go…with natural stones gathered by all your friends. What a picture!!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  May 23, 2013
  
  Great idea and very close to what I had in mind! I just might need an extra hand or two…
Reply
Virginia Spicer

May 23, 2013

These are beautiful container bouquets!!
It’s like a cut flower bouquet that lasts all summer…
Reply
Laura

May 23, 2013

I always wanted to do a rock garden in the front – well, a mini Stonehenge, sheesh, I should get out there and help you…anyway, the only thing that might survive out front aside from dandelions, is some form of ivy – wouldn’t it be cool to see Stonehenge with ivy and a bit of moss?
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  May 23, 2013
  
  Hi, Laura, yes, that sounds nice, too. I’m afraid to try building a rock garden because I don’t know what I’m doing! Hope you’re enjoying the season on the coast. xo
Reply
David Martin

May 16, 2013

What a nice evocation of your enthusiasm for gardening, Vivi! I can’t wait to enjoy it at it’s fullness!
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  May 17, 2013
  
  Thank you, David! I appreciate your enjoyment of my garden and my writing! xoxo
Reply
Virginia Spicer

May 16, 2013

Inspiring video and encouraging text.
Thanks for the ideas, photos and links!!
Hope Dave is feeling better…
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  May 16, 2013
  
  Hi, Ginnie! Thanks so much for checking out my site. I love that video, I could watch her all day! Dave’s recuperating slowly. See you tomorrow, maybe…
Reply
David Martin

May 16, 2013

Nice post, Miss Vivian!
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Nora

April 19, 2013

Hi, Viv, I heard the other day that you get those beneficial insects and let them go and they scatter away to everyone else’s garden. At least that was the story for ladybugs. Anyway, it will be a fun experiment. They are really interesting-looking insects.
I’m glad you are practising integrated pest management. I hope your garden does well this year.
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  April 29, 2013
  
  Before I left I had Travis attach the egg sacs to the lilac tree because I knew they wouldn’t be looked after while I was away! Who knows whether they’ll hatch but I’m going to keep an eye out for them.
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Bridget

April 11, 2013

Can’t wait to see the tulips in full bloom! Great post 🙂
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  April 11, 2013
  
  Thanks, Bridget! Me, too, I can’t wait, but first we have to get through the snow that’s coming! 🙁
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Travis

April 8, 2013

PRAYING MANTISES!?!? BADASS!

Dude, I’m flipping out. They’re so cool. You’re seriously going to have actual mantises in your garden? OGM. I approve of this much more than I do squashing the undesirable insects underfoot.

Really interesting post ma! I’m going to keep tweeting these because any gardeners on my Twitter will really appreciate it 😉
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  April 8, 2013
  
  Thanks, my dear! I am nurturing those mantises in the bathroom right now! I’m nervous whenever I have to open the bag, take them out, and “mist” them, as instructed. I don’t really want baby praying mantises all over me.
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David Martin

April 7, 2013

I liked you comment about when the grass is too long to be pleasing to the eye… it struck a chord somehow…
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David Martin

April 7, 2013

Beautiful post, Vivi.
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Laura

March 19, 2013

Oy, am I ever glad I was too busy to visit before you buzzed off to S.A. Yes, it’s beautiful, but I prefer to look at a picture rather than frolic in it. As for here, we have crocuses and the daffodils are blooming, tulips next. This garden is spectacular in the spring – several varieties of rhodo’s including golden, camelia and other plants I can’t identify. I promise I will sent pics as they come into bloom!

Enjoy your time in the southern hemisphere, take lots of shots.
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Tessa

March 19, 2013

Dear Viv,

I am so glad you “relaunched” your tranquil garden website and I am looking forward to regular updates. I also enjoy when you add music snippets to go along with the pictures and text. As it is March 19th – the last big snowstorm of the season they say – if I took a picture of my garden it would be white on white!

All the best,

Tessa
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  March 19, 2013
  
  As you can see, I did take picture and it is pretty much white on white! I’m glad you checked in, Tessa and I hope you signed up for the email alerts! Thanks!
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Vivian

March 18, 2013

Yes, I will see whether the stones over bulbs idea works in a few weeks. Tony Bennett has such a lovely voice and he does this song beautifully!
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Theresa

March 18, 2013

Great idea re: stones over bulbs! Will have to try that next year!
Just enjoying listening to ‘You Must Believe in Spring’…such a fan and Tony Bennett was the first big-time live concert I ever saw – school band trip from North Bay to Toronto. He was at the O’Keefe- I was smitten at age 13!
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Theresa

March 18, 2013

beautiful!
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Victoria

March 15, 2013

Everything looks lovely, VIvian. A nice change from the not spring we are currently experiencing!
V.
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  March 15, 2013
  
  Hi, Victoria! Nice of you to drop by. Yes, I know, it was a short spring, but I’m hoping it will return soon. Cheers!
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Wil

March 9, 2013

What a beautiful day to celebrate IWD! Just in time for the time-change too – another reason to celebrate. Missed your blog – I’m glad you’re back. xoxo.
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Travis

March 8, 2013

Nice post, ma! You actually made me legit excited for Spring. Also, I seem to recognise some of those anti-Springetic remarks as my own… 😛
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Theresa

March 6, 2013

I feel it too! Loved reading your thoughts and beautiful images, Viv
made me think of Mary Oliver /’Spring”
Somewhere
a black bear
has just risen from sleep
and is staring

down the mountain.
All night
in the brisk and shallow restlessness
of early spring
- Reply
  Vivian
  
  March 7, 2013
  
  Thanks for checking out my site, Theresa, and for the lovely poem! Xo
  - Reply
    Theresa
    
    March 8, 2013
    
    My pleasure Viv! Here is the whole poem…one of my favs
    Spring
    
    Somewhere
    a black bear
    has just risen from sleep
    and is staring
    
    down the mountain.
    All night
    in the brisk and shallow restlessness
    of early spring
    
    I think of her,
    her four black fists
    flicking the gravel,
    her tongue
    
    like a red fire
    touching the grass,
    the cold water.
    There is only one question:
    
    how to love this world.
    I think of her
    rising
    like a black and leafy ledge
    
    to sharpen her claws against
    the silence
    of the trees.
    Whatever else
    
    my life is
    with its poems
    and its music
    and its cities,
    
    it is also this dazzling darkness
    coming
    down the mountain,
    breathing and tasting;
    
    all day I think of her –
    her white teeth,
    her wordlessness,
    her perfect love.
    
    – Mary Oliver
Reply
David Martin

March 6, 2013

Glad you’re back Vivi!!
Reply
David Martin

March 6, 2013

Thank goodness you’re back, Vivian Lee!

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