I’m a complete amateur when it comes to web design, I admit it. However, I’m trying to make my website better and it seems that everything I try is met with resistance. All I get is the circle of death. The problem is I’m such a know-nothing that I don’t even know where to start to figure out why things don’t work. Am I doing something wrong? Is it a compatibility issue? Is it a problem with the plugin? Who knows? Not me! Don’t even know how to frame the questions. Anyway, I assure you that I want my website to look better, act better, be more inviting, easier to navigate, and have the same rich content (!), but it’s a slooooww process. I’ll keep plugging away until I have an interface I’m happy with. When it happens, I’ll have a party and you’re all invited!
In the meantime, you’ll notice that my site looks different. It’s a bit closer to what I want, and though it’s not perfect, I think things are a little easier to see and find. If you do or don’t agree, leave a comment below. I’m happy that the “Subscribe” button seems more obvious. Use it if you like this post! That way you’ll get a notification by email about any new posts. Also, you can get to my blog posts via the Welcome page, but there is also a separate page called “Blog Posts” where you can find them all. I’ve taken down a couple of pages that got very little traffic, which I don’t think you would have noticed if I hadn’t mentioned it.
How aging affects the FOMO
I’ve had a few things rolling around in my head lately that I’ve been wanting to post about. I’ve been thinking about some reluctant truths about aging. I’m a little shocked that I’ll be turning 60 next calendar year. I’m only 58 now, but yes, in nineteen months I will be turning over yet another decade.
You know how when you’re young you notice these other people who almost never go out for a beer? They almost always want to go home? They say, “they’re tired”, or “they’ve got to work the next day”? They are me. I was once one of those youngsters, who, with two small children and a husband at home (who, in retrospect, was pretty easy-going about it) would go out after concerts regularly. Like, twice a week, on a school night, I’d be out until after midnight, sometimes much later, and somehow it was no big deal. I WANTED to go and hang out and I did, but I also suffered from FOMO in a pretty big way.
Let me explain how this gradually changed for me (and I would guess, for most of us). I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but I would say that somewhere in my forties I started to experience the first real symptoms of aging. I was starting to have trouble sleeping, so coming home after one of my “wild” nights, I wasn’t able to just drop off to sleep as of yore. Also, the alcohol was having a greater affect on me the next day. I couldn’t just pop out of bed and deal with life the way I used to. It became a huge bummer, in fact. The major difference to me was the insomnia. However, the other huge factor was that FOMO gradually disappeared.
FOMO, or, the Fear of Missing Out, is a big deal when you’re younger and are eager for experience. Once you’ve been out for beers with the same crowd a bunch of times, or even with people you just met, you gradually realize that you’re not going to miss anything earth-shattering by going straight home, having a quiet drink with your partner (or by yourself) and going to bed. No offence to my friends, whom I love, but that conversation we would have had that night, we can easily have at a more convenient, less advanced time of day, and it will probably make more sense and be more memorable. (Of course, because I went home, we’ll never know, and that’s why FOMO exists.)
So, FOMO largely disappeared, but also, my priorities shifted. It became clearer that I value my time alone, and the quiet of my home with my partner. I don’t like crowds anymore, I find the noise annoying and I don’t hear through it as well as I used to, so going out, especially to bars, lost its appeal. Quiet restaurants with a small party are definitely more my speed now.
The sad thing is that the younger ones who– if they haven’t given up on me completely–still occasionally ask me to join them for a beer after concerts, are wonderful, fun, stimulating people, and, in a perfect world, I’d love to hang out with them more often. I actually feel a bit of FOMO when I think about that, but I can’t change the reality of my aging body and my aging priorities. I’ve come to appreciate the value of a good sleep and I’m trying to find balance in my life, as well. More creative activities, less alcohol, less sugar, more sleep, less social media– these are all things I’m thinking about and trying to get a handle on as time quick-marches on.
If this sounds like I’m basically an old fogey, I’ll quickly add that I do enjoy myself with people in social situations occasionally; when I want to, and not because I’m afraid of missing something. That’s the nice part. So, if I accept your invitation it’s because I really feel like hanging out, had lots of sleep the last night, and have nothing to do tomorrow. If any of those boxes aren’t checked, the likelihood is I’ll be heading home, but don’t take it personally.
I love to hear from you!