Right up front I’ll admit that I’m one of those women. I’m “that age” and “I’m letting things go”. Occasionally I ask myself if I should be trying a little harder, but let’s walk through why I’m tempted not to.
First of all, let’s talk about makeup. I’ve never worn much makeup and now when I do wear it, it’s two years old and makes my eyes water. So, do I buy new makeup, wear it for a special occasion and then two years later repeat the same scenario? Seems silly, so when a special occasion comes around, my hand hovers over the mascara (two years old) and then away. I may or may not throw it out at this point. I’ve never worn lipstick regularly, and, though it seems to have a longer shelf life, I rarely bother with it. It looks nice for five minutes and then wears off and I NEVER remember to reapply, so what’s the point? Still, when I look in the mirror as I’m getting ready to go, I think to myself, yeah, I’d probably look better with a bit of makeup. I’m more wrinkly than before, my skin is kind of pale, I’ve often got shadows under my eyes. Basically, I’m closing in on sixty and that’s what it looks like. If I were to wear some makeup, it might distract people from noticing the wrinkles, but it’s just a stopgap and in the meantime, it’s a pain in the ass.
Where else am I letting things go? Let’s see, I’m about ten pounds heavier than I was ever close to being comfortable with in decades past, but as long as I don’t go over that certain number (which is on a sliding scale, as it were) I figure I’m doing okay. I’ve tried a few diets and I’ve managed to lose some weight but it was always temporary. I don’t know that I’ll ever be willing to give up sugar or alcohol , (or fat, or carbs…), permanently, which seems to me the only way to sustainable weight loss, and I don’t want to get sucked into one of those temporary weight-loss things (AKA “diets”) anymore, so for the moment I accept my state. That’s what’s called learning from experience, People!
My hair. Well, I stopped dying it about ten years ago. I started dying it more for a lark than to really cover up a lot of grey, because I didn’t have a lot of grey. But I decided it looked a little “mousey” and thought maybe it would be fun to try a different colour for a change. The problem is that it takes a long time for colour to grow out (and it looks awful as it does so) so I was stuck in a continuous circle of hair dye for a decade. I think I was around fifty when I decided it was ridiculous to trek out to the West Island to my hair dresser’s, spend four hours getting it done, pay a couple of hundred dollars a shot, and then have to do it all over again two months later. When I let the colour grow out, I discovered I still had barely any grey hair. Doh! I notice that my friends and acquaintances are one by one getting sick of it too, and are letting their hair go natural. Some of them had very grey hair underneath all that dye, which is all the more reason to give up that particular hamster wheel: if your hair is very grey, you barely have a month before the roots start showing! The relief of letting things go! Now I only go to the hairdresser once every five or six months! I have also given up on styling my hair. It’s wild and crazy and I’m gradually accepting that fighting it is pointless.
I have some friends who always look amazing, they still wear makeup, they wear lovely outfits, their hair is coiffed, whether dyed or not, and I love looking at them, it’s a joy. However, they’re just continuing what they’ve always felt was right for them. I’ve never liked bothering with those accoutrements, and now that I’m old(er), though I’m sure I’d look “better” in a certain sense with a little makeup and better clothes, I wouldn’t look as much like me. I feel like I’ve got a “Get out of jail free” card. Now that I’m turning sixty (in 11 months, but still) I get to look my age, think about things that are more important to me, wear comfortable shoes and clothes in colours that I love. I get to wear purple and that’s a pretty sweet deal.
It’s been years since I heard anybody say, “Ooh, they’ve really let themselves go”, but I suspect that sentiment is in people’s minds even if they’re too PC to say it. Not necessarily towards me, I hasten to say, but towards one woman (or to a lesser extent towards a man, unfair but true) or other that has changed since she was thirty. I prefer to think that ” letting things go” could have a positive connotation; I’m letting go of the stress of trying to look great, or younger, or of worrying what people think of you. Sure, I’m letting things go, it’s part of getting wiser and accepting my own defects. What I worry about more now is staying physically active so my body doesn’t seize up. It’s hard enough dealing with that challenge without worrying about how I look while doing it. Priorities! Here’s to my fabulous, freeing sixth decade ahead!
I love to hear from you!