This may be a temporary state, but if it lasts long enough it’ll feel like normalcy. This is day six by my count since I (and scads of others) have had my work canceled and the powers that be have told us to kindly stay away from one another. Ordinarily I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth and if given three weeks off with no notice I would be ecstatic. In this case I feel far from ecstatic, no surprise there. First there was the awkward switching of the gears in my head from feeling dread about the extremely busy weeks ahead to having them fall away at one stroke. From one sort of anxiety I suddenly felt another kind altogether. I was oddly unrelieved that those busy weeks were wiped off the calendar.
So, what are the challenges of this quasi-self-isolation? For me it’s the uncertainty over how long it’s going to last that’s the toughest. I’m not terribly worried about actually getting sick, and the numbers here in Quebec don’t seem high (65 or so at the moment, that’s not bad, is it? or is it?*), so I hold out hope that we’ve taken drastic measures in time to avoid the worst case scenario. My worries are more about the aftermath. The economic repercussions of these measures, not even so much on our investments, but more on the lives of our friends and family, many of whom make precarious livings in the arts. I am very afraid for them and for how long it will take to get back to another, better normal. Our government seems to be throwing out some safety nets, but others, not so much. Yes, it’s all very scary, but for the moment, there’s nothing the average self-isolator can do, except try not to fall into catastrophic thinking, and that means distracting ourselves away from the news and being as creative as possible.
How do I while away three weeks (minimum!) of unexpected time off, (supposing I can concentrate long enough to accomplish anything)? Realizing I was compulsively checking the Coronanews and Facebook, in a futile attempt to calm myself, I decided to make a list. Lists are my friends. Just writing things down on a list makes me feel more in control. I decided to write a list of all the chores and projects that have been floating on the periphery of my consciousness for months and that now I have time to do. Every day I will try to cross one item off that list. Some will require more than one day to accomplish, (cough,*taxes* cough) but just steadily bearing down on that list will make me feel as though I didn’t waste this unlooked- for gift of time.
I won’t bore you with a copy of the list, but I will mention what I’ve already done so far. I recorded an episode of The Guilty Knitter, my vlog on Youtube. That felt really good, reaching out to my little community of knitters and sharing what I’ve been working on, and my present state of mind, which I’m sure is shared by many.
As you may remember from my last post, I have been wondering what to do with this site, so one thing on my list was to figure that out. Yesterday, I called my website host (Bluehost) and talked with a young man who convinced me I could stay with WordPress for much less than I’m paying right now, but retire this site when my term is up (a year from now) and start something new, either now or any time this year. Also, I’ve found a way to back up all my posts onto my computer in a very easy (and not very expensive) way, so another huge relief. I’ll keep you posted about the future! There are many more projects/chores on the list, but I’ve made a good start.
Eating the good food cooked by my husband, baking bread, going for walks, knitting, watching light tv and movies (Schitt’s Creek anyone? The new Peewee Herman movie??), this is how we are whiling the time away, along with doing some creative, collaborative projects with Erica and Travis, long distance…
On the weekend our daughter, Erica Lee Martin, a talented singer/songwriter in London, UK, suggested we (Dave, our son Travis, and I) record a song and send it out there into the ether, so we did. It’s a song by the Beach Boys, “In My Room”, (appropriate!) and we had lots of fun doing it. More such projects are in the works. Here it is, enjoy, and stay strong, my friends!
*Update: there are now about 94 cases in Quebec…
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